Tag: Conflict

• Taming Triggers in Your Marriage and Life Plus WW Linkup

  

  You’d think that after almost 29 years of marriage, my hubby and I would have tamed all of the “beasts” that arise from the moments when our wounds are triggered … but you would be wrong! 😉 I think it’s sort of like the apostle Paul’s “thorn” that God did not remove from his life…

  BethSteffaniak

  March 1, 2016

  Anger, Change, Choices, Christ-Centered, Communication, Confession, Conflict, Emotions, Fear, Humility, Pain, Perspective, Prayer, Respect, Responsibility, Self-awareness, Self-Reflection, Spiritual Practices, Toxic Baggage, Triggers in Marriage Series, Vulnerability, Wounds

  Anger, Communication, Conflict, Emotions, Fear, Healing, Prayer, Processing Emotions, Triggers, Wounds

• What Men Fear about Opening Up And Linkup

  

  Today I want to continue to unpack the results of the “Men and Openness” survey by looking at question #5 … What do you feel you need to overcome in order to be better able to identify and share your feelings? (I allowed the men to choose all that applied) 70.49% – My fear of…

  BethSteffaniak

  February 2, 2016

  Alienation, Anger, Authenticity, Avoidance, Balance, Blaming, Bonding, Boundaries, Choices, Christ-Centered, Communication, Confession, Confessional Culture, Conflict, Confrontation, Control, Criticism, Discouragement, Emotions, Empathy, Encouragement, Fear, Gender Differences, Humility, Listening Skills, Marriage, Openness, Pain, Perseverance, Positive Focus, Prayer, Pride, Respect, Security, Validation, Vulnerability, Wedded Wednesday, Withdrawal

  Affirmation, Communication, Conflict, Empathy, Fear, Listening Skills. Active Listening, Openness, Prayer, Vulnerability

• ‘Fix’-ated on Changing Your Mate?

  

  Today we continue to unpack the many subtle ways our spouses can control us by talking today about the temptation to try to “fix” or change our spouse because he/she doesn’t do his/her part or do it correctly. This is very similar to the victim-mentality post I wrote about recently, but the emphasis is on…

  BethSteffaniak

  January 16, 2016

  About Me, Acceptance, Alienation, Anger, Blaming, Boundaries, Change, Choices, Christ-Centered, Conflict, Confrontation, Control, Criticism, Denial, Discouragement, False Beliefs, Magical Thinking, Nagging, Resentments, Responsibility, Self-awareness, Self-deception, Unity, Victim Mentality

  Anger, Blaming, Conflict, Denial, Fixer, Judgmental, Perspective, Responsibility, Self-examination

• What Men Say About Opening Up And WW Linkup!

  

  Today we are diving into the first of the responses from the “Men and Openness” survey. The first question I posed to men was: What makes opening up and disclosing your feelings to your wife difficult? Here are the results … 65.52% – I am afraid my wife will become upset by my disclosures. 53.45%…

  BethSteffaniak

  November 10, 2015

  Acceptance, Alienation, Anger, Attitude, Authenticity, Avoidance, Blaming, Choices, Communication, Confessional Culture, Conflict, Criticism, Discouragement, Encouragement, Fear, Listening Skills, Marriage, Men and Openness Series, Positive Focus, Prayer, Respect, Safety, Support, Trust, Validation, Vulnerability, Wedded Wednesday

  Communication, Confession, Conflict, Emotional Safety, Emotions, Openness, Safety, Vulnerability

• A Wife’s Perspective on Men and Openness And WW Linkup!

  

  In a couple of weeks I will be diving into a series on “Men and Openness” that’s based upon a survey that I’ve been conducting for several months now. But today I want to approach this sticky subject from my own feminine and often skewed (probably due to Estrogen) perspective. 😉 [Tweet “My husband and…

  BethSteffaniak

  October 20, 2015

  About Me, Acceptance, Authenticity, Avoidance, Bonding, Change, Choices, Comfort, Communication, Conflict, Control, Differences, Emotions, Encouragement, Expectations, False Beliefs, Fear, Gender Differences, Intimacy, Men and Openness Series, Negative Self-Talk, Negotiation, Perspective, Priorities, Proactive, Realistic Expectations, Self-Protection, Togetherness, Truth, Validation, Vulnerability, Wedded Wednesday

  Barriers, Communication, Conflict, Conversation Skills, Emotions, False Beliefs, Gender Differences, Openness, Vulnerability

• Can Prayer Change Us? SJT Video

  

  It’s time for another “Sloppy Joe Time” and today I’m talking about how crazy it was for me and my hubby to think we could avoid a messy marriage without making a commitment to pray together daily. Find out what this one small act did for our marriage and what it can do for yours…

  BethSteffaniak

  October 11, 2015

  Anger, Attitude, Bonding, Change, Choices, Christ-Centered, Conflict, Emotions, Encouragement, Faith in God, Love for God, Love of God, Positive Focus, Prayer, Priorities, Sloppy Joe Time Video, Spiritual Practices, Support, Togetherness, Video

  Change, Conflict, Faith in God, Love of God, Peace, Prayer, Togetherness, Unity

• Can I out-shout you? SJT Video

  

  In today’s “Sloppy Joe Time” video, I’m pulling back the curtains on a rather unflattering time when I made my messy marriage that much messier by trying to “out-shout” my husband in times of conflict! I hope you’ll check it out by clicking on the less than 3 minute video below!     One more…

  BethSteffaniak

  September 13, 2015

  About Me, Anger, Codependency, Communication, Conflict, Control, Emotions, Expectations, False Beliefs, Grace, Pride, Realistic Expectations, Resentments, Sloppy Joe Time Video, Toxic Baggage

  Anger, Arguing, Conflict, Hard Heart, Unrealistic Expectations

• A Tool for Recapturing Young Love

  

  As many of you know, my oldest son, Jordan, recently married his sweetheart, Sarah, back in June. The joy and enthusiasm of their young love is proving to be very inspiring to me an oldie-wed. Since Sarah is a blogger, photographer, and videographer, my husband and I have lots of opportunities to witness their love…

  BethSteffaniak

  August 9, 2015

  Acceptance, Affection, Affirmation, Anger, Bonding, Comfort, Conflict, Contentment, Encouragement, Marriage Spark, Positive Focus, Support, Thankfulness, Video

  Acceptance, Conflict, Encouragement, Positive Focus

• 10 of My Favorite Posts

  

  I’d like to share ten of my favorite posts (in no particular order) that I’ve done here at Messy Marriage. Most are recent, but there are a few that go a bit further back in the vault. I hope you find them to be encouraging, thought-provoking and marriage-challenging! Validating Your Spouse’s Feelings Find God’s Redemptive…

  BethSteffaniak

  July 12, 2015

  About Me, Anger, Apologies, Codependency, Communication, Conflict, Forgiveness, God’s Redemption, Shame, Sloppy Joe Time Video

  Anger, Apologies, Communication, Conflict, Conflict Resolution, God’s Redemption, Peacemaker, Shame, Sloppy Joe Time Videos

• Peacemaker or Peacekeeper? And WW Linkup

  

  Since my post last week encouraged the extending of grace to our mates, I felt it was important to explain the difference between giving grace (peacemaking) and enabling unhealthy behavior (peacekeeping). After all … [Tweet ” Enabling and extending grace are two very different things that often get mistaken for each other.”] I’ve provided a…

  BethSteffaniak

  July 7, 2015

  Acceptance, Anger, Avoidance, Boundaries, Codependency, Communication, Confessional Culture, Conflict, Confrontation, Control, Counseling, Enabling, Friendship, Grace, Positive Focus, Prayer, Resentments, Self-Protection, Wedded Wednesday

  Communication, Conflict, Confrontation, Enabling, Forgiveness, Grace