Category: Toxic Baggage

• 5 Ways to C.L.E.A.N. Up Manipulating Your Spouse with Guilt

  

  Today, I’m excited to continue in the “Spring Clean Your Marriage” series with my next guest blogger, Karen Friday. I feel a special kinship with her because she’s a pastor’s wife like me! I hope you’ll check out her bio below and make her feel welcome by commenting and sharing her wise words all around…

  BethSteffaniak

  May 19, 2019

  Acceptance, Anger, Avoidance, Bad Habits, Blaming, Boundaries, Change, Choices, Christ-Centered, Communication, Conflict, Criticism, Discouragement, Encouragement, Expectations, Faith in God, False Beliefs, Forgiveness, Grace, Guilt, Insecurity, Marriage, Nagging, Negative Self-Talk, Realistic Expectations, Resentments, Self-Reflection, Spiritual Practices, Spring Clean Your Marriage, Toxic Baggage, Withdrawal

  Acceptance, Boundaries, Communication, Conflict Resolution, Disrespect, Faith in God, Guilt, Guilt Messages, Insecurity, Jealousy, Manipulation, Marriage Boundaries, Respect, Trust, Trust Spouse

• 3 Ways to Fix Broken Communication in Marriage

  

  Today, I’m honored to offer one more post in my “Lessons Learned in Marriage Series”—this time on communication by guest blogger Crystal Twaddell. I hope you’ll read Crystal’s insights to find out how to navigate this challenge in marriage better. And be sure to check out her bio below, as well as supporting her with your…

  BethSteffaniak

  November 25, 2018

  Acceptance, Alienation, Anger, Attitude, Avoidance, Boundaries, Christ-Centered, Communication, Confession, Conflict, Connection, Conversation, Counseling, Differences, Discouragement, Emotions, Empathy, Encouragement, Forgiveness, Grace, Lessons Learned in Marriage, Listening Skills, Marriage, Negative Self-Talk, Openness, Pain, Perspective, Positive Focus, Proactive, Resentments, Self-awareness, Self-Reflection, Toxic Baggage, Unity, Validation

  Communication, Counseling, Emotions, Filters, Grace in Marriage, Listening Skills, Openness, Processing Pain

• 7 Ways to Develop Empathy and Gain Insight into Your Mate

  

  Have you ever struggled to truly understand your mate’s feelings—feeling empathy for what he/she is going through? I sure have! 😉  But it’s important to examine this important responsibility from every angle. So, first off …  What exactly is empathy? Empathy is the ability to come alongside someone, and not only understand a person’s point…

  BethSteffaniak

  July 15, 2018

  Acceptance, Alienation, Anger, Bonding, Boundaries, Christ-Centered, Codependency, Communication, Connection, Discouragement, Emotions, Empathy, Encouragement, Forgiveness, Listening Skills, Love, Marriage, Pain, Perspective, Positive Focus, Prayer, Resentments, Self-Reflection, Toxic Baggage, Validation, Wounds

  Communication, Emotional Wounds, Empathy, Pain, Prayer, Trust God, Understanding

• 3 Practices that Can Rekindle Attraction for Your Mate

  

  Remember those first few months and years when your attraction for your mate was white hot? You probably couldn’t keep your hands off of each other. Sadly, that might be a bit fuzzy in your memory now. You might feel like the odd ball and the only one who’s struggled with this particular problem in…

  BethSteffaniak

  April 1, 2018

  Accountability, Alienation, Attraction, Bonding, Christ-Centered, Connection, Desires, Discouragement, Emotions, Encouragement, Marriage, Marriage Spark, Persevere in the Lord, Perspective, Positive Focus, Prayer, Proactive, Rekindling Sex Series, Self-awareness, Self-Reflection, Sex & Sexuality, Sex-Drive, Spiritual Practices, Toxic Baggage, Withdrawal, Wounds

  Attraction, Desire, Prayer, Prayer Partners, Prayer Processing, Scripture Prayers, Sexual Attraction, Spiritual Practices, Toxic Baggage

• 6 Reasons Attraction Fades in Marriage

  

  Most spouses at some point inevitably face distractions and/or hindrances to sexual and physical attraction in marriage. I’ve encountered this at various points in my marriage too, but every single time it’s had little to do with how physically or sexually attractive my mate was in that particular moment. #disillusionment I think this is true…

  BethSteffaniak

  March 25, 2018

  Abandonment, About Me, Acceptance, Affairs, Alienation, Anger, Attraction, Avoidance, Blaming, Boundaries, Conflict, Desires, Discouragement, Emotions, Expectations, False Beliefs, Forgiveness, Infatuation, Love, Lust, Marriage, Marriage Mistakes, Mess Makers, Miscarriage, Money Matters, Motherhood, Pain, Parenthood, Priorities, Rekindling Sex Series, Resentments, Self-awareness, Self-deception, Self-Reflection, Sex & Sexuality, Sex-Drive, Sex/Porn Addiction, Spiritual Warfare, Toxic Baggage, Withdrawal, Wounds

  Affair, Attraction, Conflict, Forgiveness, Infatuation, Infidelity, Pain, Sex, Sex-Drive, Sexual Attraction, Spiritual Warfare, Wounds

• 3 Ways to Cover Others with Love When Hurt or Stressed

  

  How did you fare on getting through the stress of the Thanksgiving holiday? Did it fill you up with large helpings of turkey, as well as fun times spent with family and friends? Or were you fed up by someone’s hurtful words and/or actions? Sadly, family gatherings often come and go with heaping portions of…

  BethSteffaniak

  November 28, 2017

  Alienation, Amends, Anger, Betrayal, Bible Study, Bible Study Tools, Choices, Christ-Centered, Comfort, Conflict, Discouragement, Encouragement, Failure, Faith in God, Forgiveness, God’s Redemption, Grace, Grief, Guilt, Jesus’ Sacrifice, Love, Love of God, Love Strong Series, Marriage, Pain, Perspective, Resentments, Self-awareness, Self-Reflection, Shame, Spiritual Practices, Stress, Surrender, Toxic Baggage

  Amends, Bible Study, Forgiveness, God’s Power, Grace, Grief, Love, Pain, Responsibility, Wound

• 2 Important Ways to Love the ‘Turkey’ at Your Table

  

  I don’t know about you, but I’ve both loved and hated the family gatherings that come with Thanksgiving or other holiday celebrations. Typically, this is because of the work that leaves me and so many others I love stressed. But sometimes the stress come from awkward and friction-filled, even resentment-laden, relationships that we have with…

  BethSteffaniak

  November 19, 2017

  Acceptance, Alienation, Anger, Attitude, Bible Study, Change, Choices, Christ-Centered, Conflict, Discouragement, Emotions, Encouragement, Faith in God, Forgiveness, Humility, Love, Love for God, Love of God, Love Strong Series, Marriage, Pain, Perspective, Positive Focus, Prayer, Resentments, Responsibility, Self-awareness, Self-Reflection, Self-sacrifice, Spiritual Practices, Stress, Toxic Baggage, Trust, Vulnerability

  Anger, Conflict, Faith in God, Forgiveness, Holidays, Love, Prayer, Resentments, Stress, Thanksgiving

• Victim Love Style in Marriage And FMTM Linkup

  

  Here at Messy Marriage, I’ve talked about a “Victim Mentality” a lot over the years, but this isn’t necessarily what I’m talking about today. A victim mentality can develop in any person’s life regardless of their love style. A victim mentality is a fixation on a real or supposed victimizer in one’s life, feeling helpless…

  BethSteffaniak

  November 29, 2016

  Abuse, Accountability, Addictions, Change, Choices, Christ-Centered, Codependency, Conflict, Emotions, Fear, From Messes to Messages Linkup, Openness, Pain, Parenthood, Prayer, Self-deception, Self-Protection, Toxic Baggage, Victim, Victim Mentality, Vulnerability, Withdrawal, Wounds

  Abuse, Addictions, Anxiety, Avoidance, Compliant, Detached, Fears, Prayer, Prayer journaling, Secrets, Victim, Vulnerability

• The Controller Love Style And FMTM Linkup

  

  With Thanksgiving in the U.S. a day away, it seems appropriate to discuss the many shades of a Controller “love style!” We wouldn’t be able to get through a true Thanksgiving meal or celebration without the “Control Freak” in somebody rising to the surface like a tasty batch of homemade rolls  . . . minus…

  BethSteffaniak

  November 22, 2016

  Abuse, Alienation, Anger, Change, Choices, Christ-Centered, Conflict, Control, Counseling, Emotions, From Messes to Messages Linkup, Pain, Parenthood, Prayer, Safety, Self-Protection, Stress, Support, Toxic Baggage, Trauma, Wounds

  Abuse, Anger, Conflict, Control, Counseling, Support, Wounds

• Vacillator ‘Love Style’ in Marriage Plus FMTM Linkup

  

  Should I post on the Vacillator today, or not? Um, sure . . . I think I will! No, wait a minute . . . definitely not! Well . . . maybe I should! Just a little sarcasm to get this “love style” train chugging down or perhaps backing up along the proverbial track! My…

  BethSteffaniak

  November 15, 2016

  Acceptance, Alienation, Anger, Balance, Change, Choices, Conflict, Control, Emotions, Expectations, Fear, From Messes to Messages Linkup, Perfectionism, Realistic Expectations, Self-Protection, Self-Reflection, Toxic Baggage, Wounds

  Anger, Conflict, Control, Emotions, Fear of Abandonment, Rejection, Vacillate