Category: Shame
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How to Stop Hiding and Improve Your Life and Marriage
When I was a little girl, my way of dealing with sadness or the sins I had committed was to crawl under my bed and hide. This provided a soothing escape from the dark shadows that seemed to mirror my state of mind. No one but the shoes next to my head knew the tears…
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3 Ways to Cover Others with Love When Hurt or Stressed
How did you fare on getting through the stress of the Thanksgiving holiday? Did it fill you up with large helpings of turkey, as well as fun times spent with family and friends? Or were you fed up by someone’s hurtful words and/or actions? Sadly, family gatherings often come and go with heaping portions of…
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My Failure to Control Myself And WW Linkup
I find it funny (or sad—you pick!) that, not only can I have trouble with being too controlling with my hubby, but I can go to the other extreme and not be controlling enough—of at least myself! [Tweet “My failure with control is contradictory! #whatsupwiththat? #controlfreak #outofcontrol”] I’m continuing the series—“My Failures, God’s Inroads”—with a…
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Finding Healing for Your Wounds And Linkup
Today I’m continuing the series on the wounds of our past by focusing on how to bring healing to those wounds through a new spiritual and relational focus. This means delving a bit deeper into what must be done in tandem with any ongoing prayer/processing of wounds (that I’ve shared in past posts). I believe…
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What Distorts and Damages Men’s Openness? And Linkup
I’m picking up where we left off from the “Men and Openness Survey” series by unpacking question number 4 from the survey … What outside sources have been hindrances to you opening up and sharing your feelings with your wife? (I let the men choose all that applied.) 55.56% – The poor example I saw…
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How to Combat Envy and Discontentment And WW Linkup
Today I’m going to unpack one more “character flaw” (grab the Character flaw inventory here) to serve as our example—“my envious and discontented ways” in our “Plank Hunt” series. It’s an ugly job, but somebody’s got to do it! 😉 Sin Triggers Sometimes there’s not a wound that causes a trigger. Sometimes it’s simply a…
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New Mind, New Marriage And WW Linkup
I’ve discovered over the years that one of the most potent ways to affect change in my heart, mind and marriage is through the process of “renewing my mind.” This is the ongoing work that the Holy Spirit does as I surrender my sinful ways to the Lord. Don’t be confused … This doesn’t happen…
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10 of My Favorite Posts
I’d like to share ten of my favorite posts (in no particular order) that I’ve done here at Messy Marriage. Most are recent, but there are a few that go a bit further back in the vault. I hope you find them to be encouraging, thought-provoking and marriage-challenging! Validating Your Spouse’s Feelings Find God’s Redemptive…
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Covering for My Spouse and WW Linkup
I think there’s just something in the DNA of every human being that tries to cover up vulnerabilities and weaknesses that we see in ourselves. Believe me, I know what I’m talking about, because that describes me much more than I’d like to admit! However, I think this pattern started way back in the Garden…
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Shame on You?! How to Feel Released from Shame
There are many of who feel shameful for sin(s) you’ve committed, perhaps way in your past or even ones you still cling to and commit today. These shameful thoughts not only make your marriage and life “messier” … But are an insult to God! Yes, you heard that right! I might be heaping a bit…
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