Category: Criticism

• 4 Ways to Avoid Correcting Choices Your Mate Makes

  If you’ve read my blog for any length of time, you know that I tend to want to correct, even manipulate, my spouse’s choices. There’s just something within me that loves to bite on the bait of this temptation whenever it comes my way. Dare I say it? That something within me is my old…

  BethSteffaniak

  August 11, 2019

  About Me, Acceptance, Accountability, Alienation, Anger, Apologies, Blaming, Boundaries, Change, Choices, Christ-Centered, Communication, Confession, Conflict, Confrontation, Control, Criticism, Expectations, Faith in God, Forgiveness, Humility, Marriage, Marriage Mistakes, Nagging, Perfectionism, Pride, Realistic Expectations, Resentments, Respect, Responsibility, Self-deception, Surrender

  Apologies, Boundaries in Marriage, Boundary Violation, Communication, Conflict in Marriage, Correcting Choices, Criticism of Mate, Forgiveness, Personal Responsibility, Respect Mate, Surrender to God

• How to Clean Up Nitpicking Imperfections in Your Spouse

  

  Today, I’m excited to be joined by my next guest blogger in the “Spring Clean Your Marriage” series, Carmen Brown. Her story will move you in powerful ways to see the destructiveness of nitpicking your spouse’s imperfections! See her bio below to find out more about her and her ministry. I was alone in my…

  BethSteffaniak

  May 26, 2019

  Acceptance, Affairs, Alienation, Anger, Apologies, Blaming, Boundaries, Change, Choices, Christ-Centered, Conflict, Criticism, Discouragement, Divorce, Expectations, Faith in God, Forgiveness, Grace, Humility, Love, Love of God, Marriage, Nagging, Perfectionism, Positive Focus, Prayer, Proactive, Realistic Expectations, Remarriage, Resentments, Responsibility, Spiritual Growth, Spiritual Practices, Spring Clean Your Marriage, Wounds

  Acceptance, Apologies, Baggage, Confession, Emotional Wounds, Faith in God, Forgiveness, God’s Love, Imperfections, Perfectionism

• 5 Ways to C.L.E.A.N. Up Manipulating Your Spouse with Guilt

  

  Today, I’m excited to continue in the “Spring Clean Your Marriage” series with my next guest blogger, Karen Friday. I feel a special kinship with her because she’s a pastor’s wife like me! I hope you’ll check out her bio below and make her feel welcome by commenting and sharing her wise words all around…

  BethSteffaniak

  May 19, 2019

  Acceptance, Anger, Avoidance, Bad Habits, Blaming, Boundaries, Change, Choices, Christ-Centered, Communication, Conflict, Criticism, Discouragement, Encouragement, Expectations, Faith in God, False Beliefs, Forgiveness, Grace, Guilt, Insecurity, Marriage, Nagging, Negative Self-Talk, Realistic Expectations, Resentments, Self-Reflection, Spiritual Practices, Spring Clean Your Marriage, Toxic Baggage, Withdrawal

  Acceptance, Boundaries, Communication, Conflict Resolution, Disrespect, Faith in God, Guilt, Guilt Messages, Insecurity, Jealousy, Manipulation, Marriage Boundaries, Respect, Trust, Trust Spouse

• 7 Ways to Clean Up Being Disrespectful to Your Spouse

  

  Recently, I was disrespectful to my husband while we were at our small group Bible study, of all places! It was just that the direction my husband was taking during our discussion just got under my skin. So I sat there stewing—thinking of what I would say to him later in a private moment. Apparently,…

  BethSteffaniak

  April 28, 2019

  About Me, Acceptance, Alienation, Amends, Anger, Attitude, Blaming, Boundaries, Christ-Centered, Communication, Confession, Conflict, Criticism, Discouragement, Encouragement, Forgiveness, Humility, Listening Skills, Love of God, Marriage, Positive Focus, Prayer, Resentments, Respect, Self-Reflection, Spiritual Growth, Spiritual Practices, Spring Clean Your Marriage, Surrender, Vulnerability

  Communication, Conflict, Cover with Love, Criticism, Disrespect, Forgiveness, God’s Love, Listening Skills, Respect, Surender to God

• 5 Tips for When You Undermine Your Spouse’s Parenting

  

  I’m excited to continue my “Spring Clean Your Marriage” Series with my next guest blogger, Aimee Imbeau. See her bio below to find the link to her site and, then be sure to connect with her on social media as well. I had a choice to make…and only moments in which to make the best…

  BethSteffaniak

  April 21, 2019

  Acceptance, Alienation, Anger, Blaming, Bonding, Boundaries, Christ-Centered, Communication, Conflict, Confrontation, Criticism, Differences, Encouragement, Faith in God, Forgiveness, Marriage, Motherhood, Oneness, Parenthood, Prayer, Respect, Spring Clean Your Marriage, Unity

  Conflict, Messy Motherhood, Parenting, Respect, Support, Support Spouse, Team Mentality, Undermine Parenting, United Front, Unity

• Are You a More Perfectionistic or Realistic Spouse? Take the Quiz!

  

  My husband and I are both perfectionists—meaning we have double trouble when it comes to being realistic in our marriage. No wonder we had a very messy start and still dip into messy moments more often than I’d like to admit! 😉 And maybe, if you’re a perfectionist like us, you chant these words to…

  BethSteffaniak

  March 17, 2019

  Acceptance, Alienation, Anger, Apologies, Attitude, Boundaries, Choices, Christ-Centered, Communication, Confession, Conflict, Connection, Criticism, Desires, Discouragement, Encouragement, Expectations, Failure, Faith in God, Forgiveness, Grace, Jesus’ Sacrifice, Love of God, Marriage, Nagging, Patience, Perfectionism, Personality, Positive Focus, Prayer, Realistic Expectations, Resentments, Self-awareness, Self-Reflection, Spiritual Growth, Spiritual Practices, Spouse I Want to Be Series, Support, Surrender, Unity, Wounds

  Acceptance, Limitations, Love of God, Perfectionism, Perfectionistic Spouse, Realistic Expectations, Realistic Spouse, Trust in God

• The Unfair Task of Holding in Your Personal Truth in Marriage

  

  Did you know that my husband is an open book with a transparent cover and see-through pages?! I always know exactly where I stand with him at just about every moment in our marriage. This can be a good thing most of the time. I’m grateful for his openness and willingness to clear the air.…

  BethSteffaniak

  May 20, 2018

  Acceptance, Anger, Attitude, Authenticity, Blaming, Boundaries, Christ-Centered, Communication, Confession, Conflict, Confrontation, Connection, Criticism, Discouragement, Emotions, Empathy, Encouragement, Grace, Listening Skills, Marriage, Openness, Pain, Patience, Positive Focus, Prayer, Realistic Expectations, Relief, Respect, Safety, Self-Protection, Self-sacrifice, Spiritual Practices, Support, Truth, Unfair Realities in Marriage

  Boundaries, Communication, Discretion, Hold Tongue, Kindness, Listen, Openness, Respect, Sensitivity, Timing, Truth, Understanding

• 64 Abusive Actions That Spell Trouble for Your Marriage

  

  We live in a culture and world racked by a rising and alarming number of sexual abuse accusations right now. But in marriage, the issue of abuse of every type can be extremely murky and convoluted. I think that’s because it’s so hard to know when your spouse is crossing a healthy and appropriate boundary…

  BethSteffaniak

  January 30, 2018

  Abuse, Affairs, Alienation, Anger, Betrayal, Boundaries, Choices, Conflict, Control, Criticism, Deception, Denial, Discouragement, Divorce, Marriage, Pain, Perspective, Safety, Victim, Withdrawal

  Abuse, Abuse in Marriage, Abusive Marriage, Anger, Boundaries, Conflict, Control, Safety, Separation, Victim, Violence

• 8 Red Flags That Might Mean Your Spouse is Having an Affair

  

  Here at Messy Marriage I always try to encourage spouses to persevere in their marriages with the help of the Lord, even though sometimes a major problem, like an affair, can rock a marriage to its core. If this is, or might be, your situation, my hope is that you aren’t immediately running for a…

  BethSteffaniak

  January 28, 2018

  Abandonment, Affairs, Affection, Alienation, Anger, Avoidance, Betrayal, Bible Study, Christ-Centered, Comfort, Conflict, Criticism, Denial, Discouragement, Encouragement, Faith in God, God’s Redemption, Love of God, Marriage, Mess Makers, Perseverance, Prayer, Proactive, Redemption, Self-deception, Sex & Sexuality, Spiritual Growth, Trust, Truth, Withdrawal

  Affair, Attraction, Betrayal, Faith in God, Infidelity, Lies, Marriage, Proactive, Trust, Withdrawal

• 5 ‘Little Foxes’ that Damage a Marriage by Kelly R. Baker

  

  Have you heard of the allegorical foxes that spoil the vine? My mother used to quote Song of Songs 2:15 to my brother and me growing up, as part of teaching us how to treat people. She continued to remind me of this verse when my husband Justin and I started butting heads early on…

  BethSteffaniak

  November 15, 2017

  Acceptance, Affirmation, Bible Study, Blaming, Bonding, Choices, Christ-Centered, Communication, Connection, Criticism, Discouragement, Encouragement, Expectations, Forgiveness, Grace, Marriage, Marriage Spark, Patience, Perfectionism, Positive Focus, Priorities, Realistic Expectations, Respect, Self-awareness, Self-sacrifice, Serving, Spiritual Growth, Spiritual Practices, Support, Thankfulness, Vulnerability

  Bible Study, Criticism, God’s Word, Gratitude, Negative Focus, Positive Focus, Respect, Thankfulness