Category: Blaming

• How Grief and Humility Can Set You Free

  

  Early on in my marriage, when we were full-throttle in the messes of our own making, the last thing I wanted to do was admit my part in those messes. And the more I ran from taking responsibility and the more I pointed the finger of blame at my husband for “driving me to make…

  BethSteffaniak

  April 26, 2016

  About Me, Addictions, Anger, Authenticity, Blaming, Change, Choices, Christ-Centered, Confesional Culture, Confession, Control, Desires, Faith in God, Grace, Grief, Humility, Jesus’ Sacrifice, Marriage, Negative Self-Talk, Pride, Resentments, Responsibility, Resurrect Me Series, Self-awareness, Self-Reflection, Surrender, Truth, Vulnerability, Wedded Wednesday, Workaholic

  Addictions, Bad Habits, Confession, Freedom, Grief, Humility, Pride

• The Childhood Wound of Neglect And WW Linkup

  

  I’ve been a bit surprised by the amount of interest in this series on the wounds of our past, but definitely not shocked. I think this is an area that many couples struggle with and can relate to—realizing it brings with it much messiness and misery in marriage. The first step I want to take…

  BethSteffaniak

  February 16, 2016

  About Me, Abuse, Acceptance, Blaming, Christ-Centered, Denial, Emotions, False Beliefs, Messy Mom’s and Dad’s, Negative Self-Talk, Pain, Perspective, Self-awareness, Self-deception, Self-Reflection, Toxic Baggage, Trauma, Trials, Victim Mentality, Wedded Wednesday, Wounds

  Childhood, Pain, Self-awareness, Toxic Baggage, Trauma, Triggers, Victim Mentality, Wounds

• What Men Fear about Opening Up And Linkup

  

  Today I want to continue to unpack the results of the “Men and Openness” survey by looking at question #5 … What do you feel you need to overcome in order to be better able to identify and share your feelings? (I allowed the men to choose all that applied) 70.49% – My fear of…

  BethSteffaniak

  February 2, 2016

  Alienation, Anger, Authenticity, Avoidance, Balance, Blaming, Bonding, Boundaries, Choices, Christ-Centered, Communication, Confession, Confessional Culture, Conflict, Confrontation, Control, Criticism, Discouragement, Emotions, Empathy, Encouragement, Fear, Gender Differences, Humility, Listening Skills, Marriage, Openness, Pain, Perseverance, Positive Focus, Prayer, Pride, Respect, Security, Validation, Vulnerability, Wedded Wednesday, Withdrawal

  Affirmation, Communication, Conflict, Empathy, Fear, Listening Skills. Active Listening, Openness, Prayer, Vulnerability

• ‘Fix’-ated on Changing Your Mate?

  

  Today we continue to unpack the many subtle ways our spouses can control us by talking today about the temptation to try to “fix” or change our spouse because he/she doesn’t do his/her part or do it correctly. This is very similar to the victim-mentality post I wrote about recently, but the emphasis is on…

  BethSteffaniak

  January 16, 2016

  About Me, Acceptance, Alienation, Anger, Blaming, Boundaries, Change, Choices, Christ-Centered, Conflict, Confrontation, Control, Criticism, Denial, Discouragement, False Beliefs, Magical Thinking, Nagging, Resentments, Responsibility, Self-awareness, Self-deception, Unity, Victim Mentality

  Anger, Blaming, Conflict, Denial, Fixer, Judgmental, Perspective, Responsibility, Self-examination

• Feel like a Victim in Marriage?

  

  I’m back from a much-needed vacation to continue the series on how our spouses can control us. Today’s focus is about feeling like a victim in a hopeless marriage. Sometimes people who are in a hurtful marriage for a very long time and have tried to combat the issues for as long as they’ve been…

  BethSteffaniak

  January 2, 2016

  About Me, Alienation, Attitude, Blaming, Boundaries, Change, Choices, Christ-Centered, Codependency, Control, Discouragement, Expectations, Faith in God, False Beliefs, Forgiveness, Love of God, Marriage, Negative Self-Talk, Perseverance, Positive Focus, Prayer, Pride, Proactive, Realistic Expectations, Respect, Responsibility, Safety, Victim Mentality

  Change, God’s Love, Learned Helplessness, Proactive, Responsibility, Safe People, Victim Mentality

• 3 Steps to Avoid a Parenting Power Struggle

  

  It’s easy to think that when your spouse does something that bugs you and you react, that you are making a conscious choice born out of your freewill to resist. But more times than not, you are allowing yourself to be controlled by your spouse’s actions or words. Today I want to continue the series…

  BethSteffaniak

  December 12, 2015

  Acceptance, Alienation, Anger, Apologies, Attitude, Authenticity, Balance, Blaming, Boundaries, Change, Choices, Christ-Centered, Codependency, Communication, Confessional Culture, Conflict, Control, Discouragement, Enabling, False Beliefs, Forgiveness, Messy Mom’s and Dad’s, Motherhood, Negotiation, Parenthood, Proactive, Responsibility, Self-awareness, Toxic Baggage, Victim Mentality, Vulnerability, Wounds

  Apologizing, Baggage, Codependency, Confession, Negotiating, Parenting, Power Struggles, Responsibility, Wounds

• Picking Hubby’s Brain on Openness

  Today I’m excited to kick-off a new video series called, “Picking Hubby’s Brain” where I will be exploring what my man thinks on topics that are a mystery to many of us women and wives—in particular to me! 😉 Today’s topic for exploration is on “Men and Openness.”  There’s so much wisdom and clarity on this…

  BethSteffaniak

  November 15, 2015

  Acceptance, Anger, Authenticity, Blaming, Christ-Centered, Comfort, Communication, Confessional Culture, Conflict, Emotions, Empathy, Encouragement, Gender Differences, Listening Skills, Love, Men and Openness Series, Positive Focus, Prayer, Safety, Self-sacrifice, Support, Validation, Video, Vulnerability

  Active Listening, Communication, Empathy, Listening, Men and Openness, Video, Vulnerability

• What Men Say About Opening Up And WW Linkup!

  

  Today we are diving into the first of the responses from the “Men and Openness” survey. The first question I posed to men was: What makes opening up and disclosing your feelings to your wife difficult? Here are the results … 65.52% – I am afraid my wife will become upset by my disclosures. 53.45%…

  BethSteffaniak

  November 10, 2015

  Acceptance, Alienation, Anger, Attitude, Authenticity, Avoidance, Blaming, Choices, Communication, Confessional Culture, Conflict, Criticism, Discouragement, Encouragement, Fear, Listening Skills, Marriage, Men and Openness Series, Positive Focus, Prayer, Respect, Safety, Support, Trust, Validation, Vulnerability, Wedded Wednesday

  Communication, Confession, Conflict, Emotional Safety, Emotions, Openness, Safety, Vulnerability

• Can I point out your flaws? SJT Video

  

  Today I’m back with another “Sloppy Joe Time” that addresses our tendency as faulty and defensive human beings to point the finger at our spouse’s flaws and “specks” rather than going on a “Plank Hunt” in our own lives. I’ve been there and done that and am here to say there’s a better way to…

  BethSteffaniak

  September 27, 2015

  Attitude, Authenticity, Blaming, Boundaries, Change, Choices, Christ-Centered, Comfort, Confessional Culture, Criticism, Encouragement, Expectations, Got Truth?, Pain, Plank Hunt Series, Proactive, Responsibility, Self-Reflection, Sloppy Joe Time Video, Spiritual Growth, Spiritual Practices, Surrender, Truth, Video, Vulnerability

  Blaming, God’s Truth, Pain, Proactive, Responsibility, Self-examination

• Waiting on Your Mate to Change? And WW Linkup

  

  Are you feeling like you’re tired of beating your head against a wall because your mate never changes? Does your spouse continue to deny the glaring issues that you see in his or her character and choices? Do you fear that if your mate doesn’t wake up soon your love and marriage may not survive?…

  BethSteffaniak

  August 25, 2015

  Accountability, Attitude, Blaming, Boundaries, Change, Choices, Christ-Centered, Confessional Culture, Discouragement, Expectations, Faith in God, Fear, God’s Redemption, Perseverance, Perspective, Plank Hunt Series, Positive Focus, Realistic Expectations, Redemption, Responsibility, Self-Reflection, Toxic Baggage, Victim Mentality, Vulnerability, Wedded Wednesday, Wounds

  Choices, Christ-centered, Confessional Culture, Denial, Proactive, Self-examination, Self-Reflection