Category: Anger

• Giving Up on Your Marriage?

  

  I started blogging (another blog) back in Feb. 2009, and have been blogging at Messy Marriage since October 2010, so it feels like quite a long journey in many ways. For the record . . . I’ve wanted to give up on this blogging endeavor many times! I’ve felt like it’s not worth it more…

  BethSteffaniak

  April 30, 2016

  About Me, Anger, Attitude, Blaming, Blogging, Change, Choices, Christ-Centered, Discouragement, Emotions, Encouragement, Expectations, Faith in God, False Beliefs, God’s Redemption, Love of God, Magical Thinking, Negative Self-Talk, Pain, Patience, Perseverance, Perspective, Proactive, Realistic Expectations, Resentments, Responsibility, Self-awareness, Self-deception, Self-Protection, Trust, Victim Mentality

  Change, Discouragement, Divorce, Faith in God, Patience, Perseverence, Seasons

• How Grief and Humility Can Set You Free

  

  Early on in my marriage, when we were full-throttle in the messes of our own making, the last thing I wanted to do was admit my part in those messes. And the more I ran from taking responsibility and the more I pointed the finger of blame at my husband for “driving me to make…

  BethSteffaniak

  April 26, 2016

  About Me, Addictions, Anger, Authenticity, Blaming, Change, Choices, Christ-Centered, Confesional Culture, Confession, Control, Desires, Faith in God, Grace, Grief, Humility, Jesus’ Sacrifice, Marriage, Negative Self-Talk, Pride, Resentments, Responsibility, Resurrect Me Series, Self-awareness, Self-Reflection, Surrender, Truth, Vulnerability, Wedded Wednesday, Workaholic

  Addictions, Bad Habits, Confession, Freedom, Grief, Humility, Pride

• Resurrect Me from the Pull of My Desires And Linkup

  

  In my new series—Resurrect Me—I want to explore all the ways you and I let addictions, compulsions and bad habits drag us back to the “grave” of our former selves (Rom. 7:22-25). This unbridled and relentless hunger can be especially destructive in marriage—making it so very messy and ugly. There’s an important passage in James…

  BethSteffaniak

  March 29, 2016

  About Me, Addictions, Anger, Attitude, Change, Choices, Christ-Centered, Communication, Conflict, Desires, Emotions, Faith in God, Grace, Humility, Negotiation, Resentments, Respect, Resurrect Me Series, Selfishness, Surrender, Unity, Validation, Wedded Wednesday

  Addictions, Anger, Arguing, Bad Habits, Communication, Conflict, Desires, Selfishness

• Taming Triggers in Your Marriage and Life Plus WW Linkup

  

  You’d think that after almost 29 years of marriage, my hubby and I would have tamed all of the “beasts” that arise from the moments when our wounds are triggered … but you would be wrong! 😉 I think it’s sort of like the apostle Paul’s “thorn” that God did not remove from his life…

  BethSteffaniak

  March 1, 2016

  Anger, Change, Choices, Christ-Centered, Communication, Confession, Conflict, Emotions, Fear, Humility, Pain, Perspective, Prayer, Respect, Responsibility, Self-awareness, Self-Reflection, Spiritual Practices, Toxic Baggage, Triggers in Marriage Series, Vulnerability, Wounds

  Anger, Communication, Conflict, Emotions, Fear, Healing, Prayer, Processing Emotions, Triggers, Wounds

• What Men Fear about Opening Up And Linkup

  

  Today I want to continue to unpack the results of the “Men and Openness” survey by looking at question #5 … What do you feel you need to overcome in order to be better able to identify and share your feelings? (I allowed the men to choose all that applied) 70.49% – My fear of…

  BethSteffaniak

  February 2, 2016

  Alienation, Anger, Authenticity, Avoidance, Balance, Blaming, Bonding, Boundaries, Choices, Christ-Centered, Communication, Confession, Confessional Culture, Conflict, Confrontation, Control, Criticism, Discouragement, Emotions, Empathy, Encouragement, Fear, Gender Differences, Humility, Listening Skills, Marriage, Openness, Pain, Perseverance, Positive Focus, Prayer, Pride, Respect, Security, Validation, Vulnerability, Wedded Wednesday, Withdrawal

  Affirmation, Communication, Conflict, Empathy, Fear, Listening Skills. Active Listening, Openness, Prayer, Vulnerability

• How Enabling Your Mate Controls ‘You’

  

  I want to discuss one more way that our mates can sometimes control us … through the ever-tempting avenue of enabling them. The reason I say this is “tempting” is probably because I feel this draw as a woman and mother perhaps a bit more than men generally do. Enabling actually springs up from a…

  BethSteffaniak

  January 30, 2016

  About Me, Acceptance, Anger, Balance, Boundaries, Change, Choices, Christ-Centered, Codependency, Confrontation, Control, Discouragement, Enabling, Faith in God, False Beliefs, Fear, Forgiveness, Negative Self-Talk, Negotiation, Pride, Realistic Expectations, Resentments, Responsibility, Self-Protection, Self-Reflection, Selfishness, Togetherness, Trust, Worry

  Balance, Confrontation, Control, Enabling, Fear, Negotiation, Responsibility, Worry

• ‘Fix’-ated on Changing Your Mate?

  

  Today we continue to unpack the many subtle ways our spouses can control us by talking today about the temptation to try to “fix” or change our spouse because he/she doesn’t do his/her part or do it correctly. This is very similar to the victim-mentality post I wrote about recently, but the emphasis is on…

  BethSteffaniak

  January 16, 2016

  About Me, Acceptance, Alienation, Anger, Blaming, Boundaries, Change, Choices, Christ-Centered, Conflict, Confrontation, Control, Criticism, Denial, Discouragement, False Beliefs, Magical Thinking, Nagging, Resentments, Responsibility, Self-awareness, Self-deception, Unity, Victim Mentality

  Anger, Blaming, Conflict, Denial, Fixer, Judgmental, Perspective, Responsibility, Self-examination

• 3 Steps to Avoid a Parenting Power Struggle

  

  It’s easy to think that when your spouse does something that bugs you and you react, that you are making a conscious choice born out of your freewill to resist. But more times than not, you are allowing yourself to be controlled by your spouse’s actions or words. Today I want to continue the series…

  BethSteffaniak

  December 12, 2015

  Acceptance, Alienation, Anger, Apologies, Attitude, Authenticity, Balance, Blaming, Boundaries, Change, Choices, Christ-Centered, Codependency, Communication, Confessional Culture, Conflict, Control, Discouragement, Enabling, False Beliefs, Forgiveness, Messy Mom’s and Dad’s, Motherhood, Negotiation, Parenthood, Proactive, Responsibility, Self-awareness, Toxic Baggage, Victim Mentality, Vulnerability, Wounds

  Apologizing, Baggage, Codependency, Confession, Negotiating, Parenting, Power Struggles, Responsibility, Wounds

• Picking Hubby’s Brain on Openness

  Today I’m excited to kick-off a new video series called, “Picking Hubby’s Brain” where I will be exploring what my man thinks on topics that are a mystery to many of us women and wives—in particular to me! 😉 Today’s topic for exploration is on “Men and Openness.”  There’s so much wisdom and clarity on this…

  BethSteffaniak

  November 15, 2015

  Acceptance, Anger, Authenticity, Blaming, Christ-Centered, Comfort, Communication, Confessional Culture, Conflict, Emotions, Empathy, Encouragement, Gender Differences, Listening Skills, Love, Men and Openness Series, Positive Focus, Prayer, Safety, Self-sacrifice, Support, Validation, Video, Vulnerability

  Active Listening, Communication, Empathy, Listening, Men and Openness, Video, Vulnerability

• What Men Say About Opening Up And WW Linkup!

  

  Today we are diving into the first of the responses from the “Men and Openness” survey. The first question I posed to men was: What makes opening up and disclosing your feelings to your wife difficult? Here are the results … 65.52% – I am afraid my wife will become upset by my disclosures. 53.45%…

  BethSteffaniak

  November 10, 2015

  Acceptance, Alienation, Anger, Attitude, Authenticity, Avoidance, Blaming, Choices, Communication, Confessional Culture, Conflict, Criticism, Discouragement, Encouragement, Fear, Listening Skills, Marriage, Men and Openness Series, Positive Focus, Prayer, Respect, Safety, Support, Trust, Validation, Vulnerability, Wedded Wednesday

  Communication, Confession, Conflict, Emotional Safety, Emotions, Openness, Safety, Vulnerability