Category: Responsibility
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How Grief and Humility Can Set You Free

Early on in my marriage, when we were full-throttle in the messes of our own making, the last thing I wanted to do was admit my part in those messes. And the more I ran from taking responsibility and the more I pointed the finger of blame at my husband for “driving me to make…
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Taming Triggers in Your Marriage and Life Plus WW Linkup

You’d think that after almost 29 years of marriage, my hubby and I would have tamed all of the “beasts” that arise from the moments when our wounds are triggered … but you would be wrong! 😉 I think it’s sort of like the apostle Paul’s “thorn” that God did not remove from his life…
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My Husband’s View on Spiritual Leadership

I’m excited to add a new installment to my “Pick Hubby’s Brain” video series this week. We’ve had some camera issues (and quite frankly, are still having some issues to iron out) but am happy to offer some food for thought from my wise and witty hubby on the sticky subject of spiritual leadership. I…
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How Enabling Your Mate Controls ‘You’

I want to discuss one more way that our mates can sometimes control us … through the ever-tempting avenue of enabling them. The reason I say this is “tempting” is probably because I feel this draw as a woman and mother perhaps a bit more than men generally do. Enabling actually springs up from a…
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Resisting God because You Feel Pressured?

This week I’m tackling another way we let our spouses control us … “Resisting spiritual pursuits because your spouse is cramming them down your throat.” The spouse who has been pressured by his/her spouse in this way often “reacts” rather than “responds” to this situation. The distinction is an important one. A “reaction” is letting…
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‘Fix’-ated on Changing Your Mate?

Today we continue to unpack the many subtle ways our spouses can control us by talking today about the temptation to try to “fix” or change our spouse because he/she doesn’t do his/her part or do it correctly. This is very similar to the victim-mentality post I wrote about recently, but the emphasis is on…
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Feel like a Victim in Marriage?

I’m back from a much-needed vacation to continue the series on how our spouses can control us. Today’s focus is about feeling like a victim in a hopeless marriage. Sometimes people who are in a hurtful marriage for a very long time and have tried to combat the issues for as long as they’ve been…
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Healthy Boundaries and Expectations for a Heart-to-Heart And Linkup!

Today I’m continuing in the series that was born out of the results from my Men and Openness survey by unpacking a bit more what a wife (or any spouse for that matter) needs to keep in mind in a heart-to-heart. [Tweet “If you want to encourage openness, establish healthy boundaries and realistic expectations.”] Since…
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3 Steps to Avoid a Parenting Power Struggle

It’s easy to think that when your spouse does something that bugs you and you react, that you are making a conscious choice born out of your freewill to resist. But more times than not, you are allowing yourself to be controlled by your spouse’s actions or words. Today I want to continue the series…
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Can I point out your flaws? SJT Video

Today I’m back with another “Sloppy Joe Time” that addresses our tendency as faulty and defensive human beings to point the finger at our spouse’s flaws and “specks” rather than going on a “Plank Hunt” in our own lives. I’ve been there and done that and am here to say there’s a better way to…


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