Category: Boundaries

• My Husband’s View on Spiritual Leadership

  

  I’m excited to add a new installment to my “Pick Hubby’s Brain” video series this week. We’ve had some camera issues (and quite frankly, are still having some issues to iron out) but am happy to offer some food for thought from my wise and witty hubby on the sticky subject of spiritual leadership. I…

  BethSteffaniak

  February 20, 2016

  Balance, Boundaries, Choices, Christ-Centered, Communication, Control, Encouragement, Expectations, Faith in God, Gender Differences, Insecurity, Love for God, Nagging, Negotiation, Patience, Perfectionism, Perseverance, Positive Focus, Prayer, Priorities, Realistic Expectations, Respect, Responsibility, Spiritual Growth, Spiritual Leadership, Spiritual Practices, Spiritually Unequal, Trust, Unity, Video

  Christ-centered, Patience, Perseverance, Respect, Spiritual Disciplines, Spiritual Growth, Spiritual Leadership

• What Men Fear about Opening Up And Linkup

  

  Today I want to continue to unpack the results of the “Men and Openness” survey by looking at question #5 … What do you feel you need to overcome in order to be better able to identify and share your feelings? (I allowed the men to choose all that applied) 70.49% – My fear of…

  BethSteffaniak

  February 2, 2016

  Alienation, Anger, Authenticity, Avoidance, Balance, Blaming, Bonding, Boundaries, Choices, Christ-Centered, Communication, Confession, Confessional Culture, Conflict, Confrontation, Control, Criticism, Discouragement, Emotions, Empathy, Encouragement, Fear, Gender Differences, Humility, Listening Skills, Marriage, Openness, Pain, Perseverance, Positive Focus, Prayer, Pride, Respect, Security, Validation, Vulnerability, Wedded Wednesday, Withdrawal

  Affirmation, Communication, Conflict, Empathy, Fear, Listening Skills. Active Listening, Openness, Prayer, Vulnerability

• How Enabling Your Mate Controls ‘You’

  

  I want to discuss one more way that our mates can sometimes control us … through the ever-tempting avenue of enabling them. The reason I say this is “tempting” is probably because I feel this draw as a woman and mother perhaps a bit more than men generally do. Enabling actually springs up from a…

  BethSteffaniak

  January 30, 2016

  About Me, Acceptance, Anger, Balance, Boundaries, Change, Choices, Christ-Centered, Codependency, Confrontation, Control, Discouragement, Enabling, Faith in God, False Beliefs, Fear, Forgiveness, Negative Self-Talk, Negotiation, Pride, Realistic Expectations, Resentments, Responsibility, Self-Protection, Self-Reflection, Selfishness, Togetherness, Trust, Worry

  Balance, Confrontation, Control, Enabling, Fear, Negotiation, Responsibility, Worry

• Resisting God because You Feel Pressured?

  

  This week I’m tackling another way we let our spouses control us … “Resisting spiritual pursuits because your spouse is cramming them down your throat.” The spouse who has been pressured by his/her spouse in this way often “reacts” rather than “responds” to this situation. The distinction is an important one. A “reaction” is letting…

  BethSteffaniak

  January 24, 2016

  Acceptance, Alienation, Attitude, Avoidance, Balance, Boundaries, Change, Choices, Christ-Centered, Codependency, Conflict, Control, Discouragement, False Beliefs, Insecurity, Prayer, Responsibility, Security, Self-deception, Spiritual Growth, Spiritual Leadership, Spiritually Unequal, Toxic Baggage, Trust, Withdrawal, Wounds

  Codependent, Control, Insecurity, Reactive, Responsible, Security, Spiritual Leader

• ‘Fix’-ated on Changing Your Mate?

  

  Today we continue to unpack the many subtle ways our spouses can control us by talking today about the temptation to try to “fix” or change our spouse because he/she doesn’t do his/her part or do it correctly. This is very similar to the victim-mentality post I wrote about recently, but the emphasis is on…

  BethSteffaniak

  January 16, 2016

  About Me, Acceptance, Alienation, Anger, Blaming, Boundaries, Change, Choices, Christ-Centered, Conflict, Confrontation, Control, Criticism, Denial, Discouragement, False Beliefs, Magical Thinking, Nagging, Resentments, Responsibility, Self-awareness, Self-deception, Unity, Victim Mentality

  Anger, Blaming, Conflict, Denial, Fixer, Judgmental, Perspective, Responsibility, Self-examination

• Feel like a Victim in Marriage?

  

  I’m back from a much-needed vacation to continue the series on how our spouses can control us. Today’s focus is about feeling like a victim in a hopeless marriage. Sometimes people who are in a hurtful marriage for a very long time and have tried to combat the issues for as long as they’ve been…

  BethSteffaniak

  January 2, 2016

  About Me, Alienation, Attitude, Blaming, Boundaries, Change, Choices, Christ-Centered, Codependency, Control, Discouragement, Expectations, Faith in God, False Beliefs, Forgiveness, Love of God, Marriage, Negative Self-Talk, Perseverance, Positive Focus, Prayer, Pride, Proactive, Realistic Expectations, Respect, Responsibility, Safety, Victim Mentality

  Change, God’s Love, Learned Helplessness, Proactive, Responsibility, Safe People, Victim Mentality

• Healthy Boundaries and Expectations for a Heart-to-Heart And Linkup!

  

  Today I’m continuing in the series that was born out of the results from my Men and Openness survey by unpacking a bit more what a wife (or any spouse for that matter) needs to keep in mind in a heart-to-heart. [Tweet “If you want to encourage openness, establish healthy boundaries and realistic expectations.”] Since…

  BethSteffaniak

  December 15, 2015

  Acceptance, Authenticity, Boundaries, Change, Codependency, Comfort, Communication, Confessional Culture, Conflict, Control, Emotions, Expectations, Listening Skills, Marriage, Perseverance, Proactive, Realistic Expectations, Respect, Responsibility, Validation, Vulnerability, Wedded Wednesday

  Active Listening, Boundaries, Communication, Emotions, Perseverance, Realistic Expectations, Reflective Listening, Respect

• 3 Steps to Avoid a Parenting Power Struggle

  

  It’s easy to think that when your spouse does something that bugs you and you react, that you are making a conscious choice born out of your freewill to resist. But more times than not, you are allowing yourself to be controlled by your spouse’s actions or words. Today I want to continue the series…

  BethSteffaniak

  December 12, 2015

  Acceptance, Alienation, Anger, Apologies, Attitude, Authenticity, Balance, Blaming, Boundaries, Change, Choices, Christ-Centered, Codependency, Communication, Confessional Culture, Conflict, Control, Discouragement, Enabling, False Beliefs, Forgiveness, Messy Mom’s and Dad’s, Motherhood, Negotiation, Parenthood, Proactive, Responsibility, Self-awareness, Toxic Baggage, Victim Mentality, Vulnerability, Wounds

  Apologizing, Baggage, Codependency, Confession, Negotiating, Parenting, Power Struggles, Responsibility, Wounds

• Steps that Encourage Your Man to Open Up with You

  

  I’m excited about today’s post because I get to focus on the positive communication techniques that wives (or husbands) can do to improve times of sharing and disclosure with their spouses. I’d like to reference the top three responses to the second question on the Men and Openness Survey that I conducted recently. I asked:…

  BethSteffaniak

  December 8, 2015

  Acceptance, Affirmation, Alienation, Attitude, Boundaries, Change, Choices, Communication, Conflict, Control, Emotions, Empathy, Encouragement, Grace, Listening Skills, Men and Openness Series, Perseverance, Perspective, Realistic Expectations, Safety, Trust, Validation, Vulnerability, Wedded Wednesday

  Active Listening, Communication, Empathy, Listening Skills, Openness, Safety, Vulnerability

• 5 Ways Your Spouse Can Control You

  

  I’m beginning a new series on Sundays that will unpack five ways that we are prone to let our spouses control us. FYI … I’ll still be posting videos on upcoming Sundays, just not as often.  If you’ve been married for any length of time, it is so easy to fall into these five unhealthy…

  BethSteffaniak

  December 5, 2015

  Boundaries, Codependency, Marriage, Wounds

  Balance, Codependency, Proactive