Category: Criticism
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Will you soothe my mood? SJT Video
Ever give yourself permission to vent with your spouse? Well, I certainly do and have! In my latest “Sloppy Joe Time” video, I share what I’m trying to get my spouse to do when I vent (yes, that means “messy manipulation” is present!). And I share the three positive strategies I’m using to turn that…
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Feeling like a victim in a hopeless marriage? SJT Video
Sometimes a common dynamic or mindset develops when a marriage has been in crisis for a extended period of time. Click on the video below to find out what that mindset is in Beth’s latest “Sloppy Joe Time” – “Why won’t ‘you’ change?” What have been some of the lies you’ve embraced when you’ve…
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The Unplugged Spouse {WW Linkup}
Today I’m so excited to have a guest post from Ugochi who blogs at Teshuva, where she writes on God’s redemption in life and marriage in ways that really resonate with what we are about here at Messy Marriage. She is continuing our discussion on striving for intimacy and oneness in marriage. I hope you’ll…
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Is my secret ‘safe’? Video
Yes, it’s that time of the week to grab your “cup of joe” and join me for another “sloppy joe time!” In this video, I talk about the way I allowed my angry thoughts about my spouse to go from a minor messy meditation to a festering monstrosity in no time! I’d love it if you’d take less than 3 minute to watch!…
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Are You a Speck Inspector? And Linkup!
Hi, I’m Beth Steffaniak and I’m a recovering “Speck Inspector.” Yessiree, I’m guilty as charged! And if you asked my hubby, he would definitely nod in agreement. This concept is revealed to us in Matthew 7:1-5, where Jesus provides a very “eye-opening” truth about humanity’s habit of judging others. He says that we cannot be…
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10 Not-So-Helpful Things to Do for My Spouse
Recently I wrote a post about the subject of helping my husband. You can refer to it here, if you’d like. But the idea got me to thinking … there are lots of ways I can help my husband but … There are also a lot of ways that I think I’m helping my…
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Raising the Bar in Your Marriage?
Imagine, if you will, coming home from a long days work, expecting to bask in a warm welcome from the one who’s “supposed to have your back,” only to experience a tongue lashing so sharp that you feel like human hash browns—having been diced up and left on the floor to sizzle in the greasy…
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Are You Motivating or Manipulating Your Spouse?
Isn’t it always easier to see what our spouse needs to do than what we need to do? I can easily get caught up in this problem, since I’m also a counselor and life-coach. I can diagnose an unhealthy attitude or action, and step in with my “trusty counselor’s voice” to bring my husband down…
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In-Laws with "Depression" Stereotypes
Written by Scott and Heather CoppleMessy Marriage Team Members In-laws can cause all sorts of trouble in a marriage, especially when the married couple allows the intrusion of family. Our family of origin wreaks havoc on our marriage because of the baggage we bring along with us. Now, let the in-laws, themselves, enter the relationship…
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When Your Spouse Won’t Go to Bat For You – In-law Issues
Recently I suggested that I would be writing a post on how to set boundaries, but decided to focus on one common boundary problem—intrusive and critical in-laws. Let’s say you have a mother-in-law who makes a habit of criticizing you to your spouse or in front of others. But let’s up the ante and say…
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