WORTHY Bible Studies

Where Scripture, Life, and Marriage Meet

Is my secret ‘safe’? Video

SJT Alternate

Yes, it’s that time of the week to grab your “cup of joe” and join me for another “sloppy joe time!”

In this video, I talk about the way I allowed my angry thoughts about my spouse to go from a minor messy meditation to a festering monstrosity in no time! 

I’d love it if you’d take less than 3 minute to watch! And when you do, you’ll discover how to—in one of my favorite philospher, Barney Fife’s words—“Nip it in the bud!” 

 

 

What makes it hard for you to yield your anger to God and think positively about your mate?

 

How have you avoided this poisonous practice in marriage or life?

 

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Linking up with – Marriage Mondays, Making Your Home Sing, Unforced Rhythms, Sunday Stillness, Sharing His Beauty and Playdates with God

BethSteffaniak

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12 responses to “Is my secret ‘safe’? Video”

  1. Linda Avatar
    Linda

    Gee, Beth … Were we really that dumb and naive to think he didn’t notice how steamed we were at him? Yikes … Praise God that He’s saved us from our foolish selves, and opened the doors to communication that’s a whole lot more sane and helpful!

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    1. Beth Avatar
      Beth

      I don’t know about you, Linda, but I definitely was! 😉 And I echo that “Praise God” for how He opened our eyes to the foolishness that almost always plagues a young, gotta-learn-the-hard-way bride {or groom, for that matter!}. Somehow God uses those messes to point us back to Him and His amazing grace and truth. Thanks for your sweet friendship here on these lonely Sunday afternoons! I wanted to reply sooner, but our internet’s been a bit fickle here today.

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  2. Bonny Avatar
    Bonny

    This is such a great video. I appreciate your complete honesty. Taking thoughts captive is one of my favorite verses and tools! Our minds just have a mind of their own sometimes. 🙂 Great stuff, Beth!

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    1. Beth Avatar
      Beth

      Well, I’m so honored to have you stop by, Bonnie! And the Twitter love was a special treat as well! As you can see, I have access to the Internet. It’s still not completely fixed, but I’m finding a connection and making the most of it! Thanks so much for your kindness to me!

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  3. Pam Avatar
    Pam

    Another great insight, Beth! It’s true- hiding doesn’t work, and really, sin in general….is ‘too much work.’ :o)

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    1. Beth Avatar
      Beth

      Thanks so much, Pam! You’re such an incredible encourager in my life, my friend! And I am so grateful that God brought you into my life way back when we were silly college roomies!

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  4. Andrew Budek-Schmeisser Avatar
    Andrew Budek-Schmeisser

    This is an excellent topic- thinks for bringing it up!

    It’s a problem I had, and the way I finally got past it was to literally “get past it”; I worked hard not to care about the issues at hand, but that wasn’t a good way to do it. It ended up putting distance into the marriage.

    It can be hard; my wife grew up in a loud family, with brothers, and is verbally quick on her feet. I grew up pretty much alone, wandering the hills except when I was forced to go to school, or go home,so I’m verbally not adept. Knowing you’re going to get clobbered, and having no idea how to forestall the blow, makes it easy to withdraw into the “secret”.

    Therapy would have helped if either of us had recognized it as a problem, but now it’s at a point from which I don’t see a clear path back to the warm intimacy that once existed. There may not be one, given the constraints of the situation, and it might be better to accept a tolerable status quo.

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    1. Beth Avatar
      Beth

      I’m glad you like it, Andrew. It’s something that used to “eat my lunch” most days! I’m so grateful that God didn’t give up on me! It’s a different situation that you find yourself in. Sometimes we must simply draw upon the love that the Lord can give us, instead of seeking it from our spouse. With that said, I completely understand your decisions and want you to know that I still pray daily for you! Thanks for your encouragement!

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  5. Nicki Schroeder Avatar
    Nicki Schroeder

    So I’m not sure which I enjoyed more, the video message or the hilarious captions running across the bottom of the screen. Well done friend. “June Cleaver on the outside, Roseanne Barr on the inside.” Oh boy, we have all been there, haven’t we? I think you are spot on that time does bring some wisdom in our walk with the Lord, and our walk with our spouses. There are so many things I did early on in my marriage that I would go back and kick myself in the pants for if given the opportunity. Thankfully in our marriage today, he is my leader and partner in this life and focusing more on the wonderful things each day just makes me love him more and more. Great video.

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    1. Beth Avatar
      Beth

      Yeah, that’s the hardest part but also the most fun, Nicki! I love pushing myself to think of some wisecrack, especially since I’ve put the cap on that in regard to my hubby! Sarcasm has always been like an addiction to “junk food” for me. It “tastes” so good but soon you regret that you ever indulged! Yes, I hear ya on that “young wife ignorance!” Yikes! If only I could pour what I know now into the hearts and minds of every young bride who stops by here, but I fear these lessons have to be learned the hard way! Thanks for your encouragement of me, my sweet friend! I’ve had internet issues but hope to get over to your place soon!

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  6. Beth Avatar
    Beth

    Aww, I’m so glad it ministered to you, Kelli! It’s great to see your sweet face around here too. I will be a regular on your block for sure! Thanks for coming by and encouraging me, my friend!

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  7. David Avatar
    David

    Excellent idea! I will do that.

    Actually, when I am reading the Bible every day I tend not to fall into those bitter moods, so that’s a habit I want to cultivate somehow too (I keep a pocket NT+Psalms in my briefcase).

    btw, glad you *didn’t* say, “so I confessed to my spouse that I’d been thinking X” or suggest any kind of naive ‘sharing’ of secrets. That can go horribly wrong in all kinds of ways, including when you’re not quite honest about your own motives for ‘sharing’. This is about taking control of one’s own inner demons.

    David

    p.s. these are excellent videos – very well constructed.

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