Category: Avoidance

• What Men Fear about Opening Up And Linkup

  

  Today I want to continue to unpack the results of the “Men and Openness” survey by looking at question #5 … What do you feel you need to overcome in order to be better able to identify and share your feelings? (I allowed the men to choose all that applied) 70.49% – My fear of…

  BethSteffaniak

  February 2, 2016

  Alienation, Anger, Authenticity, Avoidance, Balance, Blaming, Bonding, Boundaries, Choices, Christ-Centered, Communication, Confession, Confessional Culture, Conflict, Confrontation, Control, Criticism, Discouragement, Emotions, Empathy, Encouragement, Fear, Gender Differences, Humility, Listening Skills, Marriage, Openness, Pain, Perseverance, Positive Focus, Prayer, Pride, Respect, Security, Validation, Vulnerability, Wedded Wednesday, Withdrawal

  Affirmation, Communication, Conflict, Empathy, Fear, Listening Skills. Active Listening, Openness, Prayer, Vulnerability

• Resisting God because You Feel Pressured?

  

  This week I’m tackling another way we let our spouses control us … “Resisting spiritual pursuits because your spouse is cramming them down your throat.” The spouse who has been pressured by his/her spouse in this way often “reacts” rather than “responds” to this situation. The distinction is an important one. A “reaction” is letting…

  BethSteffaniak

  January 24, 2016

  Acceptance, Alienation, Attitude, Avoidance, Balance, Boundaries, Change, Choices, Christ-Centered, Codependency, Conflict, Control, Discouragement, False Beliefs, Insecurity, Prayer, Responsibility, Security, Self-deception, Spiritual Growth, Spiritual Leadership, Spiritually Unequal, Toxic Baggage, Trust, Withdrawal, Wounds

  Codependent, Control, Insecurity, Reactive, Responsible, Security, Spiritual Leader

• 8 Things to Avoid When Your Husband Opens Up And Linkup

  

  Today we’re continuing to focus on the answers that I gleaned from my “Men and Openness” survey, in an effort to address some of the hindrances that are present in attempts to communicate between a husband and wife, as well as to point out what encourages better communication. Today I want to focus on the…

  BethSteffaniak

  December 1, 2015

  Acceptance, Attitude, Avoidance, Boundaries, Change, Choices, Comfort, Communication, Confessional Culture, Control, Differences, Gender Differences, Grace, Listening Skills, Men and Openness Series, Nagging, Negotiation, Realistic Expectations, Respect, Support, Validation, Vulnerability, Wedded Wednesday

  Acceptance, Active Listening, Communication, Control, Listening, Openness, Respect

• What Men Say About Opening Up And WW Linkup!

  

  Today we are diving into the first of the responses from the “Men and Openness” survey. The first question I posed to men was: What makes opening up and disclosing your feelings to your wife difficult? Here are the results … 65.52% – I am afraid my wife will become upset by my disclosures. 53.45%…

  BethSteffaniak

  November 10, 2015

  Acceptance, Alienation, Anger, Attitude, Authenticity, Avoidance, Blaming, Choices, Communication, Confessional Culture, Conflict, Criticism, Discouragement, Encouragement, Fear, Listening Skills, Marriage, Men and Openness Series, Positive Focus, Prayer, Respect, Safety, Support, Trust, Validation, Vulnerability, Wedded Wednesday

  Communication, Confession, Conflict, Emotional Safety, Emotions, Openness, Safety, Vulnerability

• A Wife’s Perspective on Men and Openness And WW Linkup!

  

  In a couple of weeks I will be diving into a series on “Men and Openness” that’s based upon a survey that I’ve been conducting for several months now. But today I want to approach this sticky subject from my own feminine and often skewed (probably due to Estrogen) perspective. 😉 [Tweet “My husband and…

  BethSteffaniak

  October 20, 2015

  About Me, Acceptance, Authenticity, Avoidance, Bonding, Change, Choices, Comfort, Communication, Conflict, Control, Differences, Emotions, Encouragement, Expectations, False Beliefs, Fear, Gender Differences, Intimacy, Men and Openness Series, Negative Self-Talk, Negotiation, Perspective, Priorities, Proactive, Realistic Expectations, Self-Protection, Togetherness, Truth, Validation, Vulnerability, Wedded Wednesday

  Barriers, Communication, Conflict, Conversation Skills, Emotions, False Beliefs, Gender Differences, Openness, Vulnerability

• Peacemaker or Peacekeeper? And WW Linkup

  

  Since my post last week encouraged the extending of grace to our mates, I felt it was important to explain the difference between giving grace (peacemaking) and enabling unhealthy behavior (peacekeeping). After all … [Tweet ” Enabling and extending grace are two very different things that often get mistaken for each other.”] I’ve provided a…

  BethSteffaniak

  July 7, 2015

  Acceptance, Anger, Avoidance, Boundaries, Codependency, Communication, Confessional Culture, Conflict, Confrontation, Control, Counseling, Enabling, Friendship, Grace, Positive Focus, Prayer, Resentments, Self-Protection, Wedded Wednesday

  Communication, Conflict, Confrontation, Enabling, Forgiveness, Grace

• Feeling like a victim in a hopeless marriage? SJT Video

  

  Sometimes a common dynamic or mindset develops when a marriage has been in crisis for a extended period of time. Click on the video below to find out what that mindset is in Beth’s latest “Sloppy Joe Time” – “Why won’t ‘you’ change?”   What have been some of the lies you’ve embraced when you’ve…

  BethSteffaniak

  March 8, 2015

  Alienation, Attitude, Avoidance, Change, Choices, Christ-Centered, Confrontation, Control, Criticism, Discouragement, False Beliefs, Positive Focus, Realistic Expectations, Sloppy Joe Time Video, Trials, Victim Mentality, Video, Withdrawal, Wounds

  Conflict, Control, Victim Mentality, Video, Withdrawal, Wounds

• The Unplugged Spouse {WW Linkup}

  

  Today I’m so excited to have a guest post from Ugochi who blogs at Teshuva, where she writes on God’s redemption in life and marriage in ways that really resonate with what we are about here at Messy Marriage. She is continuing our discussion on striving for intimacy and oneness in marriage. I hope you’ll…

  BethSteffaniak

  February 24, 2015

  Affirmation, Avoidance, Blaming, Bonding, Choices, Christ-Centered, Commitment, Communication, Conflict, Criticism, Discouragement, Intimacy, Listening Skills, Love of God, Oneness, Positive Focus, Self-Reflection, Self-sacrifice, Truth, Vulnerability, Wedded Wednesday, Withdrawal

  Apologies, Bonding, Cleaving, Communication, Conflict, Connection, Intimacy, Love of God, Oneness, Persevering, Unity, Withdrawal

• Why are you so upset? SJT Video

  

  Today I am continuing where I left off from my last Sloppy Joe Time video by dealing with the wounds that are often present in the conflicts of our marriages and lives. We may not see them, but in this video I give some tips for identifying them as well as what to do and…

  BethSteffaniak

  January 25, 2015

  Anger, Avoidance, Communication, Conflict, Emotions, Faith in God, God’s Redemption, Pain, Prayer, Realistic Expectations, Redemption, Self-Protection, Self-Reflection, Sloppy Joe Time Video, Surrender, Toxic Baggage, Trauma, Video

  Conflict, Faith in God, Minimizing, Surrender, Toxic Baggage, Wounds

• Ignoring a problem in marriage? And WW Linkup!

  

  If you don’t know this about me already, you must know that I am always looking at what the metaphor for life might be that God wants to teach me. The graphic above is a photo of the piece of glass that lodged downward into my left hand last Thursday. I was trying to get…

  BethSteffaniak

  January 13, 2015

  Avoidance, Choices, Christ-Centered, Conflict, Denial, Discouragement, Faith in God, Pain, Positive Focus, Toxic Baggage, Trials, Wedded Wednesday

  Conflict, Denial, Faith in God, Proactive, Self-examination