Category: Wounds

• Taming Triggers in Your Marriage and Life Plus WW Linkup

  

  You’d think that after almost 29 years of marriage, my hubby and I would have tamed all of the “beasts” that arise from the moments when our wounds are triggered … but you would be wrong! 😉 I think it’s sort of like the apostle Paul’s “thorn” that God did not remove from his life…

  BethSteffaniak

  March 1, 2016

  Anger, Change, Choices, Christ-Centered, Communication, Confession, Conflict, Emotions, Fear, Humility, Pain, Perspective, Prayer, Respect, Responsibility, Self-awareness, Self-Reflection, Spiritual Practices, Toxic Baggage, Triggers in Marriage Series, Vulnerability, Wounds

  Anger, Communication, Conflict, Emotions, Fear, Healing, Prayer, Processing Emotions, Triggers, Wounds

• The Childhood Wound of Neglect And WW Linkup

  

  I’ve been a bit surprised by the amount of interest in this series on the wounds of our past, but definitely not shocked. I think this is an area that many couples struggle with and can relate to—realizing it brings with it much messiness and misery in marriage. The first step I want to take…

  BethSteffaniak

  February 16, 2016

  About Me, Abuse, Acceptance, Blaming, Christ-Centered, Denial, Emotions, False Beliefs, Messy Mom’s and Dad’s, Negative Self-Talk, Pain, Perspective, Self-awareness, Self-deception, Self-Reflection, Toxic Baggage, Trauma, Trials, Victim Mentality, Wedded Wednesday, Wounds

  Childhood, Pain, Self-awareness, Toxic Baggage, Trauma, Triggers, Victim Mentality, Wounds

• New Series on Wounds of the Past and Linkup

  

  Lately, it seems like God is dealing with me through all sorts of sources on the need to deal with old wounds that trigger me and my hubby in our marriage. It’s like everywhere I turn the subject turns to old wounds … From my Men and Openness Survey results (see post here on how…

  BethSteffaniak

  February 9, 2016

  Emotions, Failure, In-Laws, Marriage Mistakes, Mess Makers, Messy Mom’s and Dad’s, Pain, Self-awareness, Self-Reflection, Toxic Baggage, Triggers in Marriage Series, Wedded Wednesday, Withdrawal, Wounds

  Emotional Wounds, Self-awareness, Self-Reflection, Toxic Baggage, Triggers

• What Distorts and Damages Men’s Openness? And Linkup

  

  I’m picking up where we left off from the “Men and Openness Survey” series by unpacking question number 4 from the survey … What outside sources have been hindrances to you opening up and sharing your feelings with your wife? (I let the men choose all that applied.) 55.56% – The poor example I saw…

  BethSteffaniak

  January 26, 2016

  Acceptance, Christ-Centered, Communication, Discouragement, Empathy, Encouragement, Faith in God, Forgiveness, God’s Redemption, Listening Skills, Marriage, Men and Openness Series, Messy Mom’s and Dad’s, Openness, Parenthood, Perspective, Realistic Expectations, Self-awareness, Shame, Toxic Baggage, Wedded Wednesday, Wounds

  Communication, Forgiveness, God’s Redemption, Openness, Realistic Expectations, Stigma, Toxic Baggage, Vulnerability, Wounds

• Resisting God because You Feel Pressured?

  

  This week I’m tackling another way we let our spouses control us … “Resisting spiritual pursuits because your spouse is cramming them down your throat.” The spouse who has been pressured by his/her spouse in this way often “reacts” rather than “responds” to this situation. The distinction is an important one. A “reaction” is letting…

  BethSteffaniak

  January 24, 2016

  Acceptance, Alienation, Attitude, Avoidance, Balance, Boundaries, Change, Choices, Christ-Centered, Codependency, Conflict, Control, Discouragement, False Beliefs, Insecurity, Prayer, Responsibility, Security, Self-deception, Spiritual Growth, Spiritual Leadership, Spiritually Unequal, Toxic Baggage, Trust, Withdrawal, Wounds

  Codependent, Control, Insecurity, Reactive, Responsible, Security, Spiritual Leader

• 3 Steps to Avoid a Parenting Power Struggle

  

  It’s easy to think that when your spouse does something that bugs you and you react, that you are making a conscious choice born out of your freewill to resist. But more times than not, you are allowing yourself to be controlled by your spouse’s actions or words. Today I want to continue the series…

  BethSteffaniak

  December 12, 2015

  Acceptance, Alienation, Anger, Apologies, Attitude, Authenticity, Balance, Blaming, Boundaries, Change, Choices, Christ-Centered, Codependency, Communication, Confessional Culture, Conflict, Control, Discouragement, Enabling, False Beliefs, Forgiveness, Messy Mom’s and Dad’s, Motherhood, Negotiation, Parenthood, Proactive, Responsibility, Self-awareness, Toxic Baggage, Victim Mentality, Vulnerability, Wounds

  Apologizing, Baggage, Codependency, Confession, Negotiating, Parenting, Power Struggles, Responsibility, Wounds

• 5 Ways Your Spouse Can Control You

  

  I’m beginning a new series on Sundays that will unpack five ways that we are prone to let our spouses control us. FYI … I’ll still be posting videos on upcoming Sundays, just not as often.  If you’ve been married for any length of time, it is so easy to fall into these five unhealthy…

  BethSteffaniak

  December 5, 2015

  Boundaries, Codependency, Marriage, Wounds

  Balance, Codependency, Proactive

• 5 Important Ways to Identify Your Emotions And WW Linkup!

  

  We’re continuing to unpack the “Men and Openness” survey responses, focusing today upon the second most popular response (53.45%) from the men: “I don’t know how to articulate my feelings.” However, I would like to focus today on one key aspect of articulating feelings—becoming more self-aware about our feelings. (Wives listen up, because this is…

  BethSteffaniak

  November 17, 2015

  Authenticity, Communication, Confessional Culture, Counseling, Emotions, Men and Openness Series, Perspective, Self-awareness, Self-Reflection, Toxic Baggage, Vulnerability, Wedded Wednesday, Wounds

  Counselor, Emotions, Self-awareness, Self-Disclosure, Self-examination, Self-Reflection

• Ruins to Redemption And WW Linkup

  

  Today we are honored to have my sweet friend Mary Geisen who blogs at Passage Through Grace as the host of WW this week, sharing her story of redemption after a failed marriage. I’m so excited that she’s been brave and gracious enough to talk about this, because I believe that divorce is often an…

  BethSteffaniak

  November 3, 2015

  Choices, Christ-Centered, Discouragement, Divorce, Encouragement, Failure, Faith in God, Forgiveness, God’s Redemption, Grace, Love for God, Love of God, Redemption, Self-Reflection, Spiritual Growth, Trials, Wedded Wednesday, Wounds

  Choices, Christ-centered, Discouragement, Divorce, Faith in God, God’s Redemption, Spiritual Growth

• Plank Hunt – My Unforgiving Ways And WW Linkup

  

  I’m excited to get back to the “Plank Hunt” series because it’s so important to realize the power we have to impact our marriage for the better by taking responsibility for our “planks” (see Mt. 7:3-5). I’m sharing today about one of mine that I found in doing the “Character Flaw Inventory.” If you didn’t…

  BethSteffaniak

  September 22, 2015

  About Me, Accountability, Anger, Choices, Christ-Centered, Confession, Confessional Culture, Criticism, Emotions, Faith in God, False Beliefs, Forgiveness, God’s Redemption, Love of God, Negative Self-Talk, Plank Hunt Series, Redemption, Resentments, Spiritual Growth, Spiritual Practices, Spiritual Warfare, Surrender, Toxic Baggage, Truth, Wounds

  Bitterness, Confession, Forgiveness, Spiritual Warfare, Surrender