Today we are honored to have my sweet friend Mary Geisen who blogs at Passage Through Grace as the host of WW this week, sharing her story of redemption after a failed marriage. I’m so excited that she’s been brave and gracious enough to talk about this, because I believe that divorce is often an inevitable part of the broken world we live in and many-a-messy-marriage has or will be touched by it. Thankfully, God doesn’t leave us broken and without purpose, but uses our brokenness for His good purposes in our lives. I’m certain you’ll see that in Mary’s story!
My story begins in 1983 – the year my June wedding took place with a life full of hope and promise stretched before me. The union was one blessed by God and family and left me breathless for what the future held. Two sons entered the picture four and seven years into our marriage and added another layer of love, I never thought was possible to embrace.
I watched in awe as these little boys laughed, played and brought smiles to all of our faces. Life was exactly as I imagined and there was nothing to make me think otherwise in the first ten years of marriage.
My happily ever after began to deteriorate as my husband endured one physical problem after another. I was not only working full time, but took on all the household chores as well as the care for our two sons. Life was still moving forward, but was steeped in routine, messiness and little joy. My dreams for the future faded from sight as I maintained the household and took on a persona that life was fine.
As the safety net of my marriage began to disappear, and the emotional stability of home kept us off balance, it was time to consider whether the current environment was best for my sons and myself. Keep in mind this is over a 21 year span of trying to mend fences, work toward common goals and the birth of two sons who were now in their teenage years.
[Tweet “As the safety net of marriage disappears, reevaluate the promises you made to each other.”]
Reevaluation took place, but ultimately a healthy environment for my sons and myself won out. After 21 years of marriage, we divorced and my life changed significantly. I am not a proponent of divorce and being raised in the church, I was not quick to consider this as my only option. My husband and I went regularly to church and brought our sons up in the church too.
[Tweet “But being a member of a church is not the be all, end all when it comes to happy marriages.”]
One component that was lacking as our married life evolved was keeping Christ at the center of our family and marriage. To me, this makes all the difference in saving a marriage that has been crumbling for years.
My story does not just end in divorce. My former husband passed away two years after we ended our marriage and this is where my story of redemption begins.
Shock filled my heart and mind and a grief I did not know was inherent in my being left me with questions that can only be answered through prayer. Through the gentle leading of my two sons to check out a new church, I found my way back to what my heart knew all along – God is the redeemer of all and He makes all things good.
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28
It has been many years of intentional prayer, time in God’s Word and asking God for forgiveness that I have been able to heal from my own messy marriage. Circumstances in my marriage and divorce changed the course of my life dramatically, but ultimately led me to a deeper relationship with God.
Redemption has become the cry of my heart by allowing God to mend the broken places, teach me His truths and lead me closer to knowing that a fulfilled life is one we will always find in Him.
The beauty of my story is how two sons who witnessed brokenness are now getting ready to begin their own married lives in 2016. The lesson learned is found in how they both have chosen Christ to be the center of their lives and soon to be marriages.
God’s redemption makes us new through the power of grace and love! May we all be renewed today in Christ!
What are the ways you’ve seen God redeem the messes and failures in your own life?
If you’re divorced, or divorced and remarried, what have been some of the hardest aspects in rebuilding your life and recommitting to marriage?
[Tweet “Join us for another WW Linkup @ Messy Marriage today! #Christianencouragement”]
Joining with my friends at Giving Up on Perfect, Wifey Wednesday, A Little R & R Wednesdays, Mondays @ Soul Survival, Coffee and Conversation, Coffee for Your Heart and Wholehearted Wednesday.
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