Category: Respect
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Assuming Too Much & WW Link Up!
Part of what I do as a counselor and life coach is to “speculate.” It’s easy to let this “skill” that’s often appropriate in one setting, carry over to my personal relationships where it is far from appropriate! In fact, whenever I’m around my hubby and speculate about what someone might think or feel, he very matter-of-factly…
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5 Texts You Should Never Send Your Spouse
This past weekend, my husband and I had the privilege of attending our church’s annual marriage retreat. Our guest speaker was Doug Fields,* an amazing communicator and family man. He reminded us that technology has connected us with our world, while very often disconnecting us from our spouses. So in that spirit, here’s my advice…
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10 Not-So-Helpful Things to Do for My Spouse
Recently I wrote a post about the subject of helping my husband. You can refer to it here, if you’d like. But the idea got me to thinking … there are lots of ways I can help my husband but … There are also a lot of ways that I think I’m helping my…
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Are You a Texticator?
credit For those of you who are a product of “old school Christianity” your mind probably went immediately from my invented word “texticator” to “fornicator”—a word we don’t use so much in our everyday vernacular. If so, then I’m glad, because that’s almost how revolting I want this practice to sound to you from now…
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I’m Having an Affair … With My Cell Phone!
Written by Gary Steffaniak Messy Marriage Team Member … at least, that’s what my wife says. Let me explain. Friday is my day off and usually my wife, Beth, and I spend the day together. When school is going on, our kids are not home, and typically the day is ours—an empty house with no…
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Are You Motivating or Manipulating Your Spouse?
Isn’t it always easier to see what our spouse needs to do than what we need to do? I can easily get caught up in this problem, since I’m also a counselor and life-coach. I can diagnose an unhealthy attitude or action, and step in with my “trusty counselor’s voice” to bring my husband down…
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Consumed with Making My Spouse Perfect
Back some 25 years ago, I didn’t marry the man that I now call my husband. No, I haven’t gotten a divorce and remarried a different man. I simply married the man I believed would change to suit my preferences and ideals. In hindsight, I can clearly see that was the … Wrong Approach! …
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Who’s Your Daddy?

Sometimes this dynamic shows up in a marriage, and when it does, it almost always makes the marriage messier. Don’t get me wrong. If your spouse acts this way, you probably like it on some level. It truly has its perks. A spouse that acts like a parent often . . . Takes care of…
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Affairs – The First Order of Business
Affairs in our society are running amuck! From Arnold and Maria to Senator Weiner, the age-old problem just takes on new names and faces. I have a lot of experience with affairs. Let me restate that. As a counselor, I have lots of experience with affairs. And a common dynamic is for the betrayed partner…
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The Biblical Role of Headship in Marriage
I was asked to address this issue and feel as if I cannot adequately address this subject without including my husband in the dialogue as well. So this post features my sometimes “post-er,” always pastor and husband, Gary. Beth’s point of view When Gary and I have to make a decision that we cannot come…


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