Category: Openness
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How to Change Your Behavior so Your Marriage Can Improve (And Linkup)
Even though as a counselor I had to slog my way through lots of classes on Behavioral Psychology or Behavior Modification back in my old school days, I never really felt like behavior alone could create lasting or powerful change in marriage or relationships. However, that’s viewing things from the inside out, like Matthew 15:18…
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4 Ways Listening Draws My Mate to Me
My husband and I did not enter marriage as great listeners or with amazingly refined listening skills. We were young and really not all that aware of how important listening was to our marriage. I would go on in those early days of marriage to get my Masters Degree in Marriage and Family Counseling, where…
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How ‘Stranger Things’ is like the ‘Fine Art’ of Listening (& Linkup)
My husband and I have been watching the Netflix series “Stranger Things” lately, and I see a metaphor in that show that perfectly illustrates the “Fine Art” of listening. What is it? Well, let me lay some groundwork before I reveal that answer. There’s no hiding the fact that my husband and I have had some…
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First Step to Confront with Grace – And Linkup
Last week I introduced the idea that “grace” is not only shown when we overlook an offense, or even when we hold our tongue and patiently pray for God to convict the other party, but it’s also shown when we confront our offender. But how can that be considered “grace”—to confront someone? Doesn’t that sound…
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What Extending Grace Looks like in Marriage – Plus Linkup
One of the things that has often confounded me is, when do I extend grace? Is it all the time? And what does grace even look like, especially in marriage? I think of grace like forgiveness—letting something go. After all, the Lord certainly has let go of the need to punish me for my sin—dying…
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Simple Date Idea #7 – Gratitude Walk
My husband and I have discovered that often one of the first “honeymoon phase” practices to go is expressing gratitude to each other. That means it’s often a distant image in the rearview mirror for most couples who’ve been married for any length of time. But oh how it improves the atmosphere and culture of…
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5 Differences between Journaling and Prayer Journaling Plus Linkup
Last week I began a mini-series on prayer journaling that naturally sparked some conversation about journaling in the comments. Even though journaling and prayer journaling are synonyms, I wanted to write a post about the differences I see between these two helpful practices. So I hope you’ll indulge me for a bit of a “rabbit…
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How Prayer Journaling Improved My Marriage And Linkup
One of the main blessings I’ve experienced with the many prayers I’ve written out over the years is how it always brings such comfort when I’ve felt hurt in my marriage. Back in my very messy marriage years, I expected my hubby to be the main person who would comfort me—even and especially when he…
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Getting Your Spouse to Open Up – Part Two (Video)
Today I’m talking about the second half of the process that will encourage your spouse to open up and engage with you in conversation. I feel like this should be a process that is built brick by brick—keeping each brick in place as the foundation of trust in your marriage is built, perhaps for the…
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Victim Love Style in Marriage And FMTM Linkup
Here at Messy Marriage, I’ve talked about a “Victim Mentality” a lot over the years, but this isn’t necessarily what I’m talking about today. A victim mentality can develop in any person’s life regardless of their love style. A victim mentality is a fixation on a real or supposed victimizer in one’s life, feeling helpless…
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