Category: False Beliefs

• Will you validate how I feel? Video

  Today I’m continuing the conversation on the difficulty of receiving your spouse’s hurt. For me, I’ve discovered that I have a faulty belief that interferes and hinders my ability to validate my spouse in those moments. I’d love it if you’d take 3+ minutes out of your day to check it out!     Are there…

  BethSteffaniak

  November 2, 2014

  Acceptance, Anger, Avoidance, Bonding, Confrontation, False Beliefs, Listening Skills, Respect, Sloppy Joe Time Video, Validation, Vulnerability

  Communication, Conflict, Faulty Beliefs, Listening Skills, Validation

• Are You a Speck Inspector? And Linkup!

  

  Hi, I’m Beth Steffaniak and I’m a recovering “Speck Inspector.” Yessiree, I’m guilty as charged! And if you asked my hubby, he would definitely nod in agreement. This concept is revealed to us in Matthew 7:1-5, where Jesus provides a very “eye-opening” truth about humanity’s habit of judging others. He says that we cannot be…

  BethSteffaniak

  October 28, 2014

  Attitude, Blaming, Criticism, Denial, False Beliefs, Humility, Pride, Wedded Wednesday

  Arrogance, Blaming, Criticism, Denial, Humility, Judging, Superiority

• Did I Marry Mr. Wrong? Video

    Hey there! I hope you’ll take a few minutes to watch my latest edition of “Sloppy Joe Time.” I’m exploring the sloppy expectation that marriage should be easy, and if it’s not, then we married the wrong person.     The success of marriage comes not in finding the “right” person, but in the…

  BethSteffaniak

  September 28, 2014

  Blaming, Choices, Christ-Centered, Expectations, Faith in God, False Beliefs, Love of God, Realistic Expectations, Responsibility, Victim Mentality, Video

  Commitment, God’s Love, Unrealistic Expectations

• Expecting Too Much Conversation from Your Man? Video

  I’m continuing in my video series about sloppy expectations in marriage. So sit back with your “cup of Joe” and join me for our third installment!   What are some of the sloppy or unrealistic expectations you’ve pressured your spouse to do for you?   How has accepting your spouse’s God-given wiring improved your relationship with…

  BethSteffaniak

  September 21, 2014

  Acceptance, Communication, False Beliefs, Gender Differences, Realistic Expectations

  Acceptance, Communication, Conversation, Gender Differences

• Love me warts and all? Video

  

  Today we’re continuing in our video series on the sloppy expectations we all have in marriage. Check this one out to see what Christ’s love and acceptance should look like …     What false ideas did you feel were “Christ-like attitudes or behaviors” that you imposed on your spouse?   What do you think balancing…

  BethSteffaniak

  September 14, 2014

  Acceptance, Expectations, False Beliefs, Love, Realistic Expectations, Truth, Video

  Acceptance, Love, Truth, Unrealistic Expectations

• Who Should Apologize First?

  

  I hope you’ll take two and a half minutes to watch this first of many videocast installments here at MM on “Sloppy Expectations in Marriage.” Part of the reason I’ve decided to add videos is:  I’m still having arm/hand/tendonitis issues and typing adds to that problem. Creating a video is less “typing-intensive.” I’ve always wanted…

  BethSteffaniak

  September 7, 2014

  Apologies, Codependency, Conflict, Expectations, False Beliefs, Marriage Mistakes, Realistic Expectations, Video

  Apologies, Expectations

• ‘Not Ever Quite Home – PTSD and Marriage’ Plus WW Link up!

  Today we are honored to have Andrew Budek-Schmeisser of Blessed are the Pure of Heart as our guest to share a perspective that he’s uniquely qualified to offer. He knows first-hand the devastation that PTSD can cause in marriage, so I was thrilled when he agreed to share his wisdom and experience here with all of us…

  BethSteffaniak

  September 2, 2014

  Commitment, False Beliefs, Pain, Perseverance, PTSD & Marriage, Toxic Baggage, Trauma, Wedded Wednesday

  Pain, PTSD, Toxic Baggage, Trauma

• Never Asked My Spouse to Help and Wedded Wed Link Up!

  While I’m taking a four week break from blogging, I’m sharing some older posts from way back in MM’s vault. This was my very first post that kicked-off a series I dubbed the “Top 10 Mistakes I Made in Marriage.” It was published way back on October, 10 of 2010! Whoa, can’t believe it’s been…

  BethSteffaniak

  July 22, 2014

  Blaming, Codependency, Communication, Conflict, Confrontation, Control, Expectations, False Beliefs, Marriage Mistakes, Negative Self-Talk, Realistic Expectations, Responsibility, Toxic Baggage, Victim Mentality, Wedded Wednesday

  Communication, Guilt, Negative Self-Talk, Realistic Expectations

• Assuming Too Much & WW Link Up!

  Part of what I do as a counselor and life coach is to “speculate.” It’s easy to let this “skill” that’s often appropriate in one setting, carry over to my personal relationships where it is far from appropriate! In fact, whenever I’m around my hubby and speculate about what someone might think or feel, he very matter-of-factly…

  BethSteffaniak

  July 1, 2014

  Anger, Blaming, Boundaries, Communication, Conflict, False Beliefs, Forgiveness, Negative Self-Talk, Resentments, Respect, Truth, Wedded Wednesday

  Assumptions, Communication, Expectations, Forgiveness, Respect

• One Attitude Keeping Us from Reoffending

  Today in our forgiveness series I’m discussing, “How an offender can maintain perspective and humility, so that reoffending is avoided and diminished, and change is achieved.” I sometimes I don’t realize how my offending behavior hurts my spouse and seeing this is crucial to honoring his boundaries and avoiding reoffending him. Here are some reasons…

  BethSteffaniak

  June 4, 2014

  Anger, Apologies, Attitude, Boundaries, Change, Christ-Centered, False Beliefs, Forgiveness, Grace, Humility, Reconciliation, Resentments, Surrender

  Boundaries, Change, Humility, Pride