Category: Resentments
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How Can I Improve My Marriage? SJT Video
Today I’m continuing the discussion on “wounds in marriage” by sharing how I dealt with my own wounded heart. Thankfully God revealed to me two problems that stemmed from my toxic baggage, and this proved to be a game-changer in my marriage. See how I approached this important journey that vastly improved my marriage by…
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Is my secret ‘safe’? Video
Yes, it’s that time of the week to grab your “cup of joe” and join me for another “sloppy joe time!” In this video, I talk about the way I allowed my angry thoughts about my spouse to go from a minor messy meditation to a festering monstrosity in no time! I’d love it if you’d take less than 3 minute to watch!…
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Fought Fire with Fire! And WW Link Up!
Repost from October of 2010, from my series on the Top Ten Mistakes I Made in Marriage. This was number 4. For years, my husband and I went ‘round and ‘round when it came to conflict. He would do something that would rattle my chain, and then all of a sudden he’d notice I had…
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Assuming Too Much & WW Link Up!
Part of what I do as a counselor and life coach is to “speculate.” It’s easy to let this “skill” that’s often appropriate in one setting, carry over to my personal relationships where it is far from appropriate! In fact, whenever I’m around my hubby and speculate about what someone might think or feel, he very matter-of-factly…
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How to Let Bitterness Go
Today I want to look at the difficulty of releasing any hurt or bitterness we feel due to the sins “someone we are trying to reconcile with” may continue to commit against us. I want to stress, this is for the person who has chosen to forgive an offending spouse, has emotionally and spiritually worked…
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One Attitude Keeping Us from Reoffending
Today in our forgiveness series I’m discussing, “How an offender can maintain perspective and humility, so that reoffending is avoided and diminished, and change is achieved.” I sometimes I don’t realize how my offending behavior hurts my spouse and seeing this is crucial to honoring his boundaries and avoiding reoffending him. Here are some reasons…
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Amends – What Do They Look Like?
I’m returning to our series on forgiveness this week by highlighting how to make amends, as well as, how to determine if the amends are being fulfilled. I’m taking much of what I’m going to discuss from Beyond Boundaries—a great book for anyone seeking to rebuild a damaged relationship and it’s currently bargain priced for…
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How to Prepare for Reconciliation
Most broken relationships don’t have one offender and one victim who never swap roles. Most broken relationships involve two flawed and sinful humans who’ve hurt each other, sometimes deeply and often continuously. This is often especially true in marriage. And don’t forget that typically the people involved can’t see the extent to which they’ve hurt…
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When You Don’t Feel Like Forgiving
If you’ve lived with the day in and day out abuse or hurt from a boundary-busting offender for very long, it’s easy to feel so fed up that you don’t want to forgive him or her. You may have come to believe the half-truth that forgiving someone means “you’ve let them off the hook.” Or…
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Feeling Broken by Your Offender?
When our hearts are broken by the sins of our offender—especially over and over—we typically want to do two things … 1. Hurt our offender the way they’ve hurt us. We might say this is simply to teach them a lesson—so they won’t hurt us or others again. Maybe there’s a grain of truth in…
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