How Can I Improve My Marriage? SJT Video

Growing up

Today I’m continuing the discussion on “wounds in marriage” by sharing how I dealt with my own wounded heart. Thankfully God revealed to me two problems that stemmed from my toxic baggage, and this proved to be a game-changer in my marriage.

See how I approached this important journey that vastly improved my marriage by clicking on the video below . . .

If you’ve looked deeply at your own wounds . . .

What problems or “toxic baggage”—stemming from your wounds—have you discovered in your own life?


How has taking responsibility for your own wounds encouraged and strengthened your marriage?



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If you’d like to view the video at Messy Marriage’s Youtube channel or view some of the other Sloppy Joe Time videos, click here. And I’d love it if you’d subscribe to the channel while you’re there!


Linking up with – Marriage Mondays, The Weekend Brew, Making Your Home SingMondays @ Soul Survival,  Sunday Stillness,  Sharing His Beauty, Spiritual Sundays and  Playdates with God

9 responses to “How Can I Improve My Marriage? SJT Video”

  1. […] Today I’m continuing the discussion on “wounds in marriage” by sharing how I dealt with my own wounded heart. Thankfully …read more       […]


  2. I always love hearing your marriage advice. The video is such a great venue for us to gain the key points while you post them on the screen at the same time. I know with any relationship taking responsibility for our own baggage, wounds or actions is important to a healthy relationship. I appreciate how you pointed out the importance of beginning with prayer. You also stated bringing out the truths with yourself and the other person. (Hopefully I said that right). Being a stuffer by nature, this is not my strong suit but God is teaching me little by little that this is a safe place to be as long as I place it in His Hands. I am so thrilled that you joined me at The Weekend Brew. Thank you for encouraging me there! Love you!


    1. Thanks so much for your encouraging words, Mary! I appreciate you too, my friend and can see that God is making you braver and braver with each day you walk with Him. Facing wounds is not for the faint of heart but the IS for the heart full of faith!


  3. I love this, Beth: “Looking for truth begins with God’s truth.” Yes! Why do I forget this? Thank you for this reminder to turn to the Word first when I am wounded. (I always love to hear your voice and see your face as you share).


    1. I don’t know that we really forget it, Laura. It’s sort of like “selective-memory.” At least for me, I just sometimes choose not to focus on God’s Truth when it’s hard or uncomfortable. Thankfully, I’m finally realizing how foolish and destructive that idea is! Thank you so much for stopping by and encouraging me, my friend. It’s always a treat when you stop by!


  4. Andrew Budek-Schmeisser Avatar
    Andrew Budek-Schmeisser

    Beautifully stated. i think you have helped a lot of people today.

    I’m something of an outlier, in a statistical sense, when it comes to wounds and how to deal with the. I have yet to meet the counselor who can truly understand Scout/Sniper operations. As Jack Coughlin said, in his superb memoir, “Shooter”, there is a basement full of closed boxes…and it’s gettin’ crowded there.

    it is hard, in my context, and I suppose in the general context, to truly understand the marks on the soul that are left by the actions in one’s life. I’ve spent years trying to figure this out, using Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, and Jainism…and I still face a paradox.

    The marks are there, and they have influenced my marriage in a negative sense, but does this make them truly negative?

    In the specific sense of “quality of marriage”, yes…but this begs the question of how Quality of Marriage is evaluated.

    If I place it against a scale built through observation and analysis of 2015 Suburban America…I’m a disaster. I’m the Mongol warrior of the Golden Horde (and I am Mongolian) that someone’s invited to the dinner party. Oops.

    But, in my element…in a triple-canopy jungle through which drift the demons that would destroy all we love…I am the one who’s well-adjusted, and marriage to such as me would be fulfilling, in the way that honour met is fulfilling.

    I suppose that what I’m trying to say is that I live between two worlds, and what are wounds in the ‘now’ are simply operational incidents in the ‘then’. In a sense, I have to choose to identify them as wounds, to move forward in my marriage…but in a way that is disloyal to the context in which i was marked by the same acts.

    I don’t know if this is clear…I’ve edited a few times.

    And I still don’t know the answer.


    1. You’ve said things in a way like only you, the tried and true, soldier can, Andrew! I certainly know that your emotional wounds from wartime are something that probably trumps or overshadows any other kinds of wounds. And the more you try to untangle the knot, it probably gets more and more complex and daunting. I appreciate your honesty and encouragement, my friend. You’re in my prayers!


  5. You are cheating on the chevron this week! 🙂 I spoke similar words at a women’s retreat this weekend. Don’t you love how God works so uniquely in us, and yet our stories can still be so similar, gives me hope we are not going through this life alone. When we ask the Lord to work within our own brokenness, amazing things begin to happen, in us and our marriage! Great video as always friend.


    1. No, it’s not “cheating,” Nicki. My chevron cup and I have an “open” relationship and polka-dot cup jumps in every once in a while to keep things fresh and exciting! 😉

      Thanks so much for your kind words to me, Nicki! I know that there are many ways that I relate to you and resonate with what you are about, so it is no surprise that you would have shared similar thoughts at a retreat. You go, girl! Hugs to you!


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