Category: Forgiveness
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My Gift to You! And WW Linkup!
Christmas is the season for giving, because our Lord and Savior came to earth as a babe in a manger—ultimately giving His life for us on the cross! That’s why I want to give to you, my Messy Marriage subscribers, a gift that I’ve been feverishly working on for months. I thought it would be…
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Assuming Too Much & WW Link Up!
Part of what I do as a counselor and life coach is to “speculate.” It’s easy to let this “skill” that’s often appropriate in one setting, carry over to my personal relationships where it is far from appropriate! In fact, whenever I’m around my hubby and speculate about what someone might think or feel, he very matter-of-factly…
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How Successful is Your Reconciliation? And Link Up
There’s no easy answer to the question: What are the signs that reconciliation is not going to work? But … I would like to offer you Leslie Vernick’s three essential ingredients to a thriving relationship as a guide for assessing how well your reconciliation {particularly in marriage} is going. The first essential ingredient is ……
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The Secret to Lasting Change
Continuing in our forgiveness series, we’re going to look at the GIANT-sized task we have in replacing hurtful patterns and living out and staying committed to healthy ways of thinking and relating in the reconciliation process {particularly in the context of marriage}. This means we’ll be looking at this from the perspective of the one…
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How to Let Bitterness Go
Today I want to look at the difficulty of releasing any hurt or bitterness we feel due to the sins “someone we are trying to reconcile with” may continue to commit against us. I want to stress, this is for the person who has chosen to forgive an offending spouse, has emotionally and spiritually worked…
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One Attitude Keeping Us from Reoffending
Today in our forgiveness series I’m discussing, “How an offender can maintain perspective and humility, so that reoffending is avoided and diminished, and change is achieved.” I sometimes I don’t realize how my offending behavior hurts my spouse and seeing this is crucial to honoring his boundaries and avoiding reoffending him. Here are some reasons…
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Amends – What Do They Look Like?
I’m returning to our series on forgiveness this week by highlighting how to make amends, as well as, how to determine if the amends are being fulfilled. I’m taking much of what I’m going to discuss from Beyond Boundaries—a great book for anyone seeking to rebuild a damaged relationship and it’s currently bargain priced for…
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When a Boundary Conversation Fails
Last week, I talked about a boundary conversation that was, for the most part, accepted by both parties. But what if you’ve confronted someone and he/she has dismissed or resisted your boundary conversation? What should you do then? First of all, there’s a difference between dismissing and resisting a boundary conversation. Normal Resistance Most people…
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How and When to Apologize
Today we’re continuing in our series on forgiveness and reconciliation by addressing how and when to apologize. Click the link, 6 Steps to Effective Boundary Conversations, to read the previous post in this series. After the first boundary conversation, let’s say it was accepted for the most part. In fact, this is the first of…
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Shame on You?! How to Feel Released from Shame
There are many of who feel shameful for sin(s) you’ve committed, perhaps way in your past or even ones you still cling to and commit today. These shameful thoughts not only make your marriage and life “messier” … But are an insult to God! Yes, you heard that right! I might be heaping a bit…
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