Category: Communication
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Validation Does Not Equal Agreement
Recently I had a comment on my post, How to Validate Your Spouse’s Feelings. It read: “How do I validate my wife’s feelings when I disagree with the facts she is basing those feelings on? I understand the feelings but want to help her recognize the distorted facts so she doesn’t have to feel hurt.”…
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5 Lies about Conflict
I’ve never really liked conflict. But I’ve also embraced certain lies about conflict in my past that have colored the way I feel about conflict. Now that God has revealed the truth to me about these lies, I have a better understanding about conflict. Allow me to share 5 Lies about Conflict … 1. …
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5 Languages of Apology

I hear a lot about Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages, and I believe this book can be very useful for a couple struggling with communication, conflict resolution, and bitterness. However, Dr. Chapman and coauthor Jennifer Thomas also wrote The Five Languages of Apology, giving us a greater understanding of how to express our regret and…
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What are the Triggers in Your Relationship?
My husband and I had a conflict the other day. Hard to believe, I know, since I’m the queen bee of messy marriage! So I asked his permission to share a generalized version with all of you. Maybe you can learn from our mistakes … It was dinnertime and my son inadvertently interrupted me. So…
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Are You Accidentally In-Validating Your Spouse?
A couple of weeks ago I wrote “4 Ways to Validate Your Spouse” and one of my readers (Laura Lee of Outnumberedmom) suggested that I write about what validation is NOT because many people think they’re validating someone when nothing is further from the truth. I totally agree! I’ve been there, in a deep conversation…
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4 Easy Steps to Clarify Conflict
Today I want to share a simple 4 step plan that I refer to for perspective after I’ve just had a conflict with my husband or someone else. Although it has come in handy with others that I’ve been in conflict with, it gets used most often with my hubby, since he’s, unfortunately, my prime…
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Turning Correction into Motivation
Every messy marriage faces the challenge of correcting messy or wrong behavior in a spouse. We often think it’s our duty to point out where our spouse has gotten off track. And in some situations and when offered in the right spirit, that can be true. The trick is knowing how to communicate our observations…
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5 Texts You Should Send Your Spouse

1. I liked the way you … yesterday. They say it takes seven positive statements to make up for one negative. So we need to be sharing encouraging words with our spouses whenever we get the chance. And since most of us don’t see our spouses during the day, what a lovely way to brighten…
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5 Texts You Should Never Send Your Spouse
This past weekend, my husband and I had the privilege of attending our church’s annual marriage retreat. Our guest speaker was Doug Fields,* an amazing communicator and family man. He reminded us that technology has connected us with our world, while very often disconnecting us from our spouses. So in that spirit, here’s my advice…
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Dealing with Childhood Hurts
January’s “Share Your Story” is by, Shannon Little Shannon has been married for almost 15 years. She and Brian actually were divorced from each other for a few years and remarried 9 years ago.They have two sons, Cameron (13) and Caden (8).She lives by the mantra … balance mind, body, spirit. The depth of my “messy…


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