Category: Codependency
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Consumed with Making My Spouse Perfect
Back some 25 years ago, I didn’t marry the man that I now call my husband. No, I haven’t gotten a divorce and remarried a different man. I simply married the man I believed would change to suit my preferences and ideals. In hindsight, I can clearly see that was the … Wrong Approach! …
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Are You Consumed with Status?
Continuing on in our “Consumed” Series … I don’t know about your family, but my kids are all gearing up for the start of the school year. Thankfully my two oldest sons are out of the rat race of middle and high school, where the pressures to be a part of the cool crowd are…
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Are You Too Close to Your Spouse?
What? Did I read that right? Can I really be too close to my spouse? Maybe that’s what you were thinking when you read my title. You might’ve also wondered … What kind of marriage blog is this, anyway? The author doesn’t even want us to get close to our spouses! I’m outta here! But…
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Finding God in a Difficult Marriage
Today’s article is a response to the “Share Your Story” post from last month. The writer wishes to remain anonymous, but I thank her for her authenticity here just the same! I’ve been learning lately that conflict and pain can be used to deepen my character and grow my relationship with God. But I often…
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Unhealthy Alliances – Triangulating
One of my father’s well-worn Bibles and a “red pencil.” When I was growing up, my father was a workaholic pastor. When he wasn’t visiting people (he once had a goal of visiting 80 families a week), he was busy studying his Bible—hours on end and always with his red pencil. Now, both of those…
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In Search of Self
As a counselor, I often find myself working with women who have a hard time “finding their voice.” By that I mean, they find it hard to identify their feelings, know their needs and assert their feelings and needs in a constructive way within a relationship. When this problem becomes entrenched, you may feel as…
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Not What I Expected …
Written by Kimberly Green Messy Marriage Team Member … Or even what I thought I wanted. My parent’s divorce in my adolescence had left scars but had also given me a wonderful gift—the gift of KNOWING their model was broken. My mother playing the perpetual victim and my father continually looking for her to validate…
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Unhealthy Alliances – Making Your Child Your Source of Support/Love
I have to say up front that I don’t think I’ve ever done this—not because I haven’t wanted to—but because I saw my mother do this with my sister and learned how destructive it can be! You might think, Well, what’s wrong with loving your child or turning to them for support from time to…
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If Only I Had Been There
Written by Kimberly Green “If I had only been there, it would never have happened.” This was the belief I had for many years that shaped much of my insecurity and fear of the world around me. At 16 years old, after nearly two decades of dysfunction, my parent’s marriage, and life as I had…
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Marriage Mistake #8 – Let My Spouse’s Bad Behavior Control Mine

The Mistaken Game My husband and I have had a game that we carried from our childhood into our marriage. No, we don’t play “Ken and Barbie” into all hours of the night, nor do we hold “who can belch the loudest?” contests either! You see, it’s the age old game of “Tit for Tat.”…


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