Category: Change
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The Support Needed to Trust Again
Reconciliation is about rebuilding trust because … [Tweet “Trust cannot be given like love or forgiveness. Trust must be earned. “] And trust is earned and established through respect and compliance with healthy boundaries and new ways of relating. So the first job for the two parties is to … Determine what you should require…
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How Comparing Can be Good
Many are choosing “one word” to focus on in the new year and I’ve been prayerfully searching for what God might want mine to be. Oddly enough, I feel Him drawing my focus over and over to the word “compare.” At first glance, compare didn’t seem like a very inspiring choice to me. After all,…
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Desperate Marriage Myth #2 – People Cannot Change
Today we’re continuing on in our series, “Desperate Marriages” with the second common myth … People cannot change. Let’s use the example of a spouse getting caught in an affair. After you’ve threatened to divorce him, he straightens up and promises to cut all ties with the other woman. The false belief that “people cannot…
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Why Your Resolutions Aren’t Working
If you’re living in a messy marriage (and who isn’t to some degree or another?), you probably want change, at least for the better. Problem is, you might want that change to occur in your spouse rather than strapping the load to your own back. Mistake Number 1 – Expecting your marriage to get better…
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Is God at Work?
Lately God’s impressed upon me one important aspect of His M.O. (“mode of operation”—yes, I know … I watch too many crime shows and know the lingo all too well!) God is busy at work in our lives, but very often He is busy in the … Unseen, spiritual realm. Remembering this has encouraged me,…
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Repeating the Past?
Like it or not, humans are creatures of habit … by harminder dhesi photography Especially when we feel our habit is not “complete.” We like to resolve things, fix things, have a “happy ending,” if you will—clinging to them, like a dog to an old bone! That’s why we end up being drawn into marriages…
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Y2Khaos
Written by Kimberly GreenMessy Marriage Team Member Rob Boudon December of 1999 found me in a local supermarket purchasing a significant amount of canned goods, gallons of water, boxes of powdered milk, and a significant supply of batteries. January 1st, 2000 at midnight, millions of computers all over the world would herald the apocalypse. We…
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Are You Motivating or Manipulating Your Spouse?
Isn’t it always easier to see what our spouse needs to do than what we need to do? I can easily get caught up in this problem, since I’m also a counselor and life-coach. I can diagnose an unhealthy attitude or action, and step in with my “trusty counselor’s voice” to bring my husband down…
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Consumed with Making My Spouse Perfect
Back some 25 years ago, I didn’t marry the man that I now call my husband. No, I haven’t gotten a divorce and remarried a different man. I simply married the man I believed would change to suit my preferences and ideals. In hindsight, I can clearly see that was the … Wrong Approach! …
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Consumed with Status Quo
I know I’m dating myself here, but this topic reminds me of the popular 70’s disco tune, “Rock the Boat.” Are any of you old enough to remember it? The balladeer wanted everyone to know that he didn’t want his “baby” rocking the boat, or to put it another way, changing the status quo…
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