Category: Victim Mentality
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Can you read my mind? Video
Today I’m laying out another sloppy expectation that revealed a heaping helping of my “magical thinking” and irrational idealism back in the day! At the time, I simply thought it was an effective way to communicate my frustration and get my husband to “hop to it!” This was something that I had seen my mother do, so…
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Did I Marry Mr. Wrong? Video
Hey there! I hope you’ll take a few minutes to watch my latest edition of “Sloppy Joe Time.” I’m exploring the sloppy expectation that marriage should be easy, and if it’s not, then we married the wrong person. The success of marriage comes not in finding the “right” person, but in the…
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Never Asked My Spouse to Help and Wedded Wed Link Up!
While I’m taking a four week break from blogging, I’m sharing some older posts from way back in MM’s vault. This was my very first post that kicked-off a series I dubbed the “Top 10 Mistakes I Made in Marriage.” It was published way back on October, 10 of 2010! Whoa, can’t believe it’s been…
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Desperate Marriage Myth #3 – Only Have 2 Options
The third myth in our Desperate Marriages series is – I have only two options, resigning myself to a life of misery or getting out of the marriage. This myth hangs on the coattails of last week’s post, Desperate Marriage Myth #2, People Cannot Change. Since you’ve determined that you and/or your spouse cannot change,…
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5 Ways Remorse Can Set You Free!
In the U.S. we’re all gearing up to celebrate the 4th of July, our nation’s Independence Day. But there’s another type of freedom you may need to pursue and claim. Do you: Struggle to let go of the regrets you have regarding past “messes” you’ve made? Continually feel responsible for the pain and consequences…
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When Your Spouse is "The Problem"
Years ago I had this blind-spot in my life. I felt like I had no control over the pain I was experiencing—especially at the hands of my husband. I felt like a helpless victim tied to the proverbial train tracks while my husband was the locomotive, barreling down the tracks and aiming right at me!…
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The Anatomy of Bitterness

I took an anatomy class in college. In the words made famous by “Pretty Woman,” Julia Roberts, “BIG MISTAKE. BIG. HUGE!” What made this a mistake? Well, it began when my lab partner and I had to skin a dead cat for dissection. Gross! We then had to familiarize ourselves so thoroughly with every in…
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Unhealthy Alliances – Triangulating
One of my father’s well-worn Bibles and a “red pencil.” When I was growing up, my father was a workaholic pastor. When he wasn’t visiting people (he once had a goal of visiting 80 families a week), he was busy studying his Bible—hours on end and always with his red pencil. Now, both of those…
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Unhealthy Alliances – The Protector Parent
Just like the popular reality show, sometimes there are alliances that form in marriage. In the weeks and months to come, I will be exploring some of the more popular types of alliances that form in marriage. As you might guess, the alliances I’m going to discuss are not healthy for a marriage and typically…
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Stuck in a Rut?
If your marriage is like mine, you sometimes get stuck in a rut. Things may go along fairly smoothly for months or even years, but then you hit a pothole and get stuck. When you’re in that rut, it might seem like you’re constantly irritated with each other—or irritated with life, but you take it…


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