Category: Mess Makers
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Unhealthy Alliances – The Protector Parent
Just like the popular reality show, sometimes there are alliances that form in marriage. In the weeks and months to come, I will be exploring some of the more popular types of alliances that form in marriage. As you might guess, the alliances I’m going to discuss are not healthy for a marriage and typically…
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Who’s Your Daddy?
Sometimes this dynamic shows up in a marriage, and when it does, it almost always makes the marriage messier. Don’t get me wrong. If your spouse acts this way, you probably like it on some level. It truly has its perks. A spouse that acts like a parent often . . . Takes care of…
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One Element that Brings Balance in Marriage
Messes happen in marriage very often because life gets out of balance. And one of the primary ways that couples, especially young couples, find life getting out of balance is in the area of time. There’s so much demanded of parents with young and growing children. And we feel as if we’re cheating our kids…
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When the Crisis Comes
You’re running late—as usual. You buckle the kids in their car seats and race off to do a long list of errands. The first errand on your list is a dentist appointment for your youngest. You glance at the clock on the dashboard and realize you’re further behind than you thought. So you decide to…
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One Marriage Attitude that Really Stinks!
Some marriage messes are like the stinky “land-mines” that litter my backyard. Of course, right now with the 12 inches of snow we got hit with a couple of weeks ago, there’s still plenty of snow remaining to showcase our dog’s “messes” in our backyard. (And unfortunately, we’re getting dumped on again—by ice and snow,…
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Two Ingredients of a Mess
What’s the main difference between someone who’s messy and someone who keeps his or her house in order? (Aside from those who can afford a housekeeper!) I think it’s that the organized or neat person is willing to face pain and do the hard work required to either avoid a mess or to clean it…
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My Messy Upbringing
I come from a good, Christian family. My dad was a pastor and my mom was a devoted wife, mom and home-maker. I think if I had to sum up our family in one word it would be commitment. But sometimes my family was committed to the wrong ways of dealing with life—even though it…
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Marriage Mistake #8 – Let My Spouse’s Bad Behavior Control Mine
The Mistaken Game My husband and I have had a game that we carried from our childhood into our marriage. No, we don’t play “Ken and Barbie” into all hours of the night, nor do we hold “who can belch the loudest?” contests either! You see, it’s the age old game of “Tit for Tat.”…
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This is the Stuff . . .
I’ve heard a song on the radio lately that I think captures the essence of what many messy marrieds struggle with everyday. Often it’s not the big problems that get us into a mess, but the little irritations that multiply and grow. The song is so new that there isn’t a full-fledged video, but I…
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Do You Have a Messy Marriage?
My boys have always had a way of ignoring messes. They can live in their messy rooms for months and not be bothered by the piles of stuff that must be navigated like an obstacle course or a mine field in order to get to the other side. If you asked them, “Do you think…
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