Messes happen in marriage very often because life gets out of balance. And one of the primary ways that couples, especially young couples, find life getting out of balance is in the area of time. There’s so much demanded of parents with young and growing children. And we feel as if we’re cheating our kids if we don’t schedule them for every sport or activity that comes along.
We have a natural desire to give to our children:
- All the things we didn’t have when we were young
- All the things society says our children should have
- All the opportunities for our children to develop special skills and perhaps be the next . . . Tiger Woods, Charlie Sheen or Lindsey Lohan!
None of those desires are wrong, in and of themselves, but if not entered in with caution and restraint, balance in the relationship can suffer.
So there is one element that I would say helps to bring balance in the life of a family and that is . . .
As parents, we must avoid scheduling our children in so many activities that they do not have time to rest or play each day.
As individuals, we must not allow our own schedules to overtake any times we have to rest or take a break. Do you take at least an hour during your day to unwind and refuel? If not, then you may be headed for burn-out and/or depression.
As a couple, we need to make time to rest and play together as well. My husband and I make a point to go out on dates at least every other week. We also schedule other restful activities that we enjoy doing together nearly every day. We make plans to get away as a couple at least once or twice a year as well.
Finally, the Sabbath or day of rest was given to us by God to safeguard our emotional and spiritual health. In my opinion, you do not have to legalistically focus that time solely on Sunday or, for some, Saturday. In fact, for my husband and family, Sunday is one of our busiest days. The point is to take time out to rest from work and focus in on family and God.
Without intentionally scheduling times of rest in our lives and families, our marriages will suffer and grow more and more messy. If your marriage is out of balance, this is one simple way you can begin to clean up the mess.
So make time to rest today!