Category: Control
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You Always Have a Choice
This is something that I often forget when the heat is on. I feel like I need to step in and take control of the “wall” I’ve just hit. I think that by wagging my boney finger in that walls face, it will move or, better yet, bow to my commanding voice! I think that…
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Repeating the Past?
Like it or not, humans are creatures of habit … by harminder dhesi photography Especially when we feel our habit is not “complete.” We like to resolve things, fix things, have a “happy ending,” if you will—clinging to them, like a dog to an old bone! That’s why we end up being drawn into marriages…
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Are You Motivating or Manipulating Your Spouse?
Isn’t it always easier to see what our spouse needs to do than what we need to do? I can easily get caught up in this problem, since I’m also a counselor and life-coach. I can diagnose an unhealthy attitude or action, and step in with my “trusty counselor’s voice” to bring my husband down…
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How to Motivate Your Spouse
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from God through the years, He loves paradoxes. He is strong in our weakness (2 Cor. 12:9). To the wise, His ways are foolishness (1 Cor. 1:18). But God’s love of paradox is never more obvious than in the way He wants us to love. You know … “The…
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Giving My Husband the "Royal Treatment"
I’ve shared this before—I’m a genealogy geek. And I’ve snagged some interesting findings that reveal a lot about me, my husband, and ironically, our relationship. Here’s some of what I’ve found … I have several very distant lines that lead to royalty in my family. I’m a descendant of dozens of knights of England, several…
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The Many Faces of Control – Smothering
In the days and weeks ahead I will be addressing certain ways that “control” manifests itself in marriages. And one of the more insidious and almost unrecognizable ways that control shows up is by the act of “smothering.” My first experience with smothering was not at the hands of my husband, but rather my mother.…
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Need a Marriage Work-Out?
Recently I had a reader ask me about how to deal with a controlling and critical spouse. I have to say that I’m guilty of playing both positions on this one—offense and defense. And I can say from first-hand experience that I think control and criticism are two of the biggest mess makers out there.…
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Who’s Your Daddy?
Sometimes this dynamic shows up in a marriage, and when it does, it almost always makes the marriage messier. Don’t get me wrong. If your spouse acts this way, you probably like it on some level. It truly has its perks. A spouse that acts like a parent often . . . Takes care of…
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Opposites Repel
Written by – Stacey Micklevitz Wait … WHAT? No, opposites attract. Right? Right! . . . At first. See, Bryan is my opposite in nearly every way. I’m very structured; he’s laid back. I’m a tad high-strung; he’s laid back. I’m very detail-oriented; he’s, well … laid back. Have I mentioned that he is rather…
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Marriage Mistake #8 – Let My Spouse’s Bad Behavior Control Mine
The Mistaken Game My husband and I have had a game that we carried from our childhood into our marriage. No, we don’t play “Ken and Barbie” into all hours of the night, nor do we hold “who can belch the loudest?” contests either! You see, it’s the age old game of “Tit for Tat.”…
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