Category: Forgiveness
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6 Steps to Effective Boundary Conversations
Today I will be continuing in our series on forgiveness, addressing what is needed to communicate clear and effective boundaries when rebuilding a wounded relationship. Step 1: Are you both ready? Determine if you both are ready for the boundary conversation. Look for clear evidence of a heart change in the other (not perfection, mind…
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The Support Needed to Trust Again
Reconciliation is about rebuilding trust because … [Tweet “Trust cannot be given like love or forgiveness. Trust must be earned. “] And trust is earned and established through respect and compliance with healthy boundaries and new ways of relating. So the first job for the two parties is to … Determine what you should require…
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How to Prepare for Reconciliation
Most broken relationships don’t have one offender and one victim who never swap roles. Most broken relationships involve two flawed and sinful humans who’ve hurt each other, sometimes deeply and often continuously. This is often especially true in marriage. And don’t forget that typically the people involved can’t see the extent to which they’ve hurt…
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Pathway to Reconciliation
Today and in the weeks to come we’ll be delving into what should happen as we turn our efforts toward reconciliation. I’ll be addressing reconciliation from both the viewpoint of the offended and the offender (and yes, don’t exclude yourself from offender’s perspective! We’ve all been the offender in someone’s life at some point). Here…
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Waiting on Your Offender to Repent?
Oh my! Today I’m tackling a tough one, people! Myth #6 – If I forgive, my offender must recognize his/her wrong against me, or it’s invalid or not “total forgiveness.” There’s a line of thought, especially in some Christian circles, that believes forgiveness is … “A commitment by the offended to pardon graciously the repentant…
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Does Forgiveness Forfeit Protection?
Today we’re addressing another myth of forgiveness … If I forgive, I lay down any right to protect myself. Just like the myth before it, “If I forgive, I’m letting my offender off the hook of responsibility” – there’s both truth and myth in this belief. The myth The idea that if I forgive, I’m…
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Does forgiving let my offender off the hook?
Today we’re continuing in our forgiveness series, debunking the myth – “If I forgive, I’m letting my offender off the hook of responsibility.” Like most myths this one has both falsehood and truth. Let’s start with the truth … In Jesus’ parable of the “Unmerciful Servant” in Matthew 18:21-35, Christ’s example of forgiveness is illustrated…
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Does Forgiving Say It Was Okay?
Today, we’re continuing in our series on forgiveness, tackling another myth of forgiveness: If I forgive, am I saying that what my offender did was okay? Our perspective –This belief is a tough one because, I’ll be the first one to say, it’s scary to make yourself vulnerable to the one who hurt you! It…
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Myth 1 & 2 – Forgive and Feel Better?
Today, we’re addressing two common myths about forgiveness – One of the biggest motivators for me to forgive is the promise of feeling better. So let me clear! I’m not saying that forgiving an offender won’t bring peace from God and positive emotions in our hearts. It can and often does! It’s just that sometimes…
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The 7 Biggest Myths of Forgiveness
I’m continuing my forgiveness series in the coming weeks by giving greater clarity to the myths people often embrace about forgiveness. 7 Myths of Forgiveness If I forgive, I will immediately and automatically feel better. If I forgive, I won’t feel hurt or angry again, no matter how many times my offender reoffends. If I…
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