Category: Boundaries
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The Secret to Lasting Change
Continuing in our forgiveness series, we’re going to look at the GIANT-sized task we have in replacing hurtful patterns and living out and staying committed to healthy ways of thinking and relating in the reconciliation process {particularly in the context of marriage}. This means we’ll be looking at this from the perspective of the one…
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One Attitude Keeping Us from Reoffending
Today in our forgiveness series I’m discussing, “How an offender can maintain perspective and humility, so that reoffending is avoided and diminished, and change is achieved.” I sometimes I don’t realize how my offending behavior hurts my spouse and seeing this is crucial to honoring his boundaries and avoiding reoffending him. Here are some reasons…
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Amends – What Do They Look Like?
I’m returning to our series on forgiveness this week by highlighting how to make amends, as well as, how to determine if the amends are being fulfilled. I’m taking much of what I’m going to discuss from Beyond Boundaries—a great book for anyone seeking to rebuild a damaged relationship and it’s currently bargain priced for…
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Becoming One with Your Spouse

Today, while I, Beth, am gone with my pastor hubby to the Emotionally Healthy Spirituality Leadership Conference in Queens, New York, Cassie Celestain, blogger at TrueAgape has graciously offered to host Wedded Wednesday for me! I hope you’ll check out Cassie’s bio below for more on her ministry to marrieds. Throughout the Bible we read…
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When a Boundary Conversation Fails
Last week, I talked about a boundary conversation that was, for the most part, accepted by both parties. But what if you’ve confronted someone and he/she has dismissed or resisted your boundary conversation? What should you do then? First of all, there’s a difference between dismissing and resisting a boundary conversation. Normal Resistance Most people…
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How and When to Apologize
Today we’re continuing in our series on forgiveness and reconciliation by addressing how and when to apologize. Click the link, 6 Steps to Effective Boundary Conversations, to read the previous post in this series. After the first boundary conversation, let’s say it was accepted for the most part. In fact, this is the first of…
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6 Steps to Effective Boundary Conversations

Today I will be continuing in our series on forgiveness, addressing what is needed to communicate clear and effective boundaries when rebuilding a wounded relationship. Step 1: Are you both ready? Determine if you both are ready for the boundary conversation. Look for clear evidence of a heart change in the other (not perfection, mind…
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The Support Needed to Trust Again
Reconciliation is about rebuilding trust because … [Tweet “Trust cannot be given like love or forgiveness. Trust must be earned. “] And trust is earned and established through respect and compliance with healthy boundaries and new ways of relating. So the first job for the two parties is to … Determine what you should require…
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How to Prepare for Reconciliation
Most broken relationships don’t have one offender and one victim who never swap roles. Most broken relationships involve two flawed and sinful humans who’ve hurt each other, sometimes deeply and often continuously. This is often especially true in marriage. And don’t forget that typically the people involved can’t see the extent to which they’ve hurt…
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Does Forgiveness Forfeit Protection?
Today we’re addressing another myth of forgiveness … If I forgive, I lay down any right to protect myself. Just like the myth before it, “If I forgive, I’m letting my offender off the hook of responsibility” – there’s both truth and myth in this belief. The myth The idea that if I forgive, I’m…


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