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“Engagement” with the Real Problem
Today we are joining Marriage Monday to discuss engagement. When my husband, then-boyfriend, Gary was a teen, a very smart, protective youth pastor told Gary never to tell a girl he loved her until he was ready to marry her. I completely understand this man’s reasoning. I know that there are way too many teen…
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Being Irritatingly Human
You’ve felt it. I know. The Christmas shopping season is in full swing. Black Friday’s already a distant maniacal memory. And it feels like Cyber Monday was a thousand clicks and shopping carts ago. So if you haven’t felt that ever-familiar spirit of the season(i.e. “Bah-humbug!”) while shopping down the crowded aisles of Walmart or…
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Default
In lieu of a post from my hubster, Gary, I’m posting a video of a message he gave at our church recently. The title was “Default” and the idea is very much in keeping with the message of Messy Marriage. We all fall into default patterns that keep us from experiencing God’s empowerment to deal…
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Stress Less Holiday
One of the things I vividly remember from my childhood was how stressful the holidays were, especially for my mom. I think this is a common experience in many homes. The normal stressors of a messy or even not-so-messy marriage are multiplied by the amount of tasks (2x, 3x, 4x), the expenses ($5x, $6x, $7x),…
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Marriage In Crisis
Recently there was an unfortunate meltdown by a couple in a Burger King restaurant. And what was even more unfortunate, the whole ordeal (yelling, sobbing, one partner storming out) was tweeted (video and pictures to boot) by a newsroom developer for all of the Twitter world to see. Now, I don’t know the status of…
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Surrender
Written by Stacey Micklevitz Messy Marriage Team Member What comes to mind when you think of the word “surrender”? Do you imagine a war-torn white flag waving atop a weather-beaten stick? Or a prisoner, head hung in shame with hands shackled behind the back? What good comes from surrender? Merriam-Webster.com defines surrender this way: “to…
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When to Use Boundaries
Recently I wrote a post, Blinded by Boundaries, that indicated there are times when boundaries are not necessary—when grace is the better choice. But I feel as if I need to back up a bit and explain what boundaries are, and how you can and should use them. I’ve hesitated to delve into a post…
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2 + 1 = Jealousy
Written by Heather and Scott Copple Messy Marriage Team Members Scott and I had been married for two years and nine months. Life was great! But one day, an event occurred that changed all of that. Heather – This event threw me into exhaustion and busyness. I wasn’t exactly keeping up with the housework like…
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Hesitant Husbands
Recently I wrote a post, “Letting a Busy Schedule Come Before Your Marriage,” and I promised to give you more tips on how to draw your hesitant husband into more quality connection time with you. So here are my thoughts … If your husband is hesitant, you’re not alone. It’s a very common problem for…
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Blinded by Boundaries
I want to show grace to my husband. Really, I do. But it’s not that simple. You know … what if, let’s say, I come upon my husband’s abandoned shoes and jacket in a heap on the floor!?* What? … Am I supposed to just pick them up and “enable” him to continue to treat…

