Written by Stacey Micklevitz
Messy Marriage Team Member
What comes to mind when you think of the word “surrender”? Do you imagine a war-torn white flag waving atop a weather-beaten stick? Or a prisoner, head hung in shame with hands shackled behind the back?
What good comes from surrender?
Merriam-Webster.com defines surrender this way: “to yield to the power, control, or possession of another upon compulsion or command.” I find this definition extremely fitting overall. However, my recent experience with surrender has been of a more willing, peaceful nature.
Lately, my husband Bryan and I have found ourselves surrendering on a daily basis. We’d been casually house-hunting with a realtor friend of mine. “Sandy” politely obliges when we ask to tour a house we find interesting. For personal reasons, some we cannot fully explain, we’ve fallen in love with a house we found by accident. Although it hasn’t been updated since being built in 1987, we both feel this is our dream house.
We are drawn to it.
There is already a contract on the house (with a contingency). So, we now rise to the challenge to list our home for sale to trump the current contingency and claim our dream house through this emotional quest.
“Emotional Rollercoaster” is a description that severely underestimates our mental state. Our current home is completely updated. Clutter has been removed, every surface has been polished, and the front window has been replaced.
We’ve had a few buyers tour the home. But, mostly, we wait. We’ve done nearly everything we can do within our own power to push the sale of our home without prematurely compromising on the asking price. Quite literally speaking, everything else now is out of our hands.
We’ve been praying that God takes control of our situation. Understanding that His will is what we seek throughout our lives, we recognize that the circumstances surrounding the sale of our current home and the purchase of our dream home must be left to His control.
For me, this is difficult.
Though we are at peace with our decision to yield to God’s control and timing, we are frustrated with the wait. Somewhat contradictory, I know. But something has come out of this peacefully frustrating surrender …
Bryan and I are drawing closer together.
We have found that our mutual emotions allow us to communicate beyond words. We feel each other’s highs and lows without expressing them. Constant, concurrent surrender forces us to focus on God’s will in every area of our lives.
Though we don’t yet know the outcome of our situation, we have already been showered with God’s blessings for our marriage. Our marriage bond continues to strengthen as we daydream about updating our outdated dream home.
We live with nervous anticipation as we maintain an orderly house while waiting for a phone call to announce that a new buyer would like a tour. We breathe heavy-hearted sighs as we receive news that our house has been rejected, once again.
Each day that passes is one day that our dream house might have already been sold. And, although we’ve mentally remodeled that house a million times, we are peacefully prepared should we learn the hard way that owning that home is simply not God’s will. Yet, until we know for sure, we wait.