I was raised in your standard, run-of-the-mill dysfunctional home. I didn’t know it at the time, but in my family of origin codependency abounded!

Some people make the mistake of assuming that you can only be “codependent” if there’s an addict who is “dependent” upon drugs or alcohol in your family. But codependency happens whenever there is a strong and long-standing pattern of imbalance or unhealthy devotion {like an “idol”} in a family’s relational pattern.

In other words, if your father was a workaholic like mine was, then codependency probably developed, shaping the way your family related to that person and to each other. If there’s any habit—even if it’s a good one like “being hardworking” {like my dad}—that is allowed to get out of balance and create a drain or strain on the family, in time, codependency will develop. Another way that codependency develops in families is when longstanding hardship or a trauma has occurred.

[Tweet “It’s easy to see why codependency impacts just about every family who’s lived in our broken world!”]

Here are some other markers of a codependent family …

They’re too enmeshed or close to other family members

or

They’re too independent or disconnected from other family members. Or a mixture of the two!

I’ve studied codependency for many, eh-hem, MANY years—examining and challenging my own codependent ways of thinking and relating that developed in my childhood. I’m still not nearly as “healthy” as I’d like to be, but I’ve learned new and healthier ways to relate in my current family that have brought healing to my life, marriage and family.

One of the books that I would recommend on this subject is Break Through by Tim Clinton and Pat Springle.  I’d like to giveaway a copy of this book to a randomly chosen winner that also lives in the U.S. or Canada {Comment by midnight CST on Thursday, Nov. 13th}. All you have to do is comment on any of the questions below …

What was out of balance or an “idol” in your family growing up? 

In what ways would you like to have a “break-through” in your life or marriage from the ghosts of your past? 

“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” –Mt. 6:21

“No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other …” -Mt. 6:24

I’d also like to give a shout out to the top two most clicked links in last week’s linkup …

1. Ngina’s post – When Your Heart Bleeds for Marriage and How You Can Help {Ngina and her husband are raising funds to do a marriage retreat for pastors back in their native Kenya. I hope you’ll consider donating to such a worthy cause! You can find out the details on this at the link.}

2. Hannah’s post – The Benefits of Family Rhythms {Hannah is new to the linkup and I’m so excited to have another life-coach in our line up! I  hope you’ll stop by her place this week and make her feel welcome!}

In fact, I do hope you’ll visit either the person before or after you in the linkup OR that you’ll choose one or two blogs to visit that have an eye-catching title to their post. And as many of you know, I try to visit the blogs of those who comment here. So if you’d like me to visit your place, please leave a comment and I’ll try to make it happen!

 

Joining with my friends at  Works for Me Wednesday,  Wifey Wednesday,  Coffee and Conversation,  Wholehearted Wednesday,  Whimsical Wednesday,  What You Wish Wednesday, Simply Said Mom and Essential Fridays.

Now it’s time for Wedded Wednesday!
Grab our WW Button Code here!

And don’t forget to include a link back here, because the easier people can find Wedded Wednesday, the more traffic I can send your way!

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