Minimizing Messes

In my last post, I talked about how I didn’t take my Poison Ivy seriously at first. I must confess, I have a tendency to do that—to minimize a problem.

Unfortunately, I’m an anxious person—always have been. I could spiritually dissect that and tell you that my anxiety means I don’t have enough faith in God, which is very true. But this post is not about “Why I minimize” but rather “What minimizing does to my life”—and probably does to yours too if you let it.

Let me first say that if you are a “Minimizer,” you’re in good company. You can find examples of Minimizer’s everywhere, including one from straight out of the pages of the Bible in the life of King David. Let me just say, David was a HUGE Minimizer (yeah, I know, an oxymoron, sort of like Jumbo Shrimp, but I digress).

You can check out the story which begins in 2 Samuel, chapter 13 and culminates in multiple consequences for King David all the way through to at least chapter 18 or later.
I see King David as certainly one of the bravest men in the Bible. But at some point, he became the King of Cowering, the Duke of Dodging, the Master of Minimizing. He let his sons run amuck without confronting, intervening or disciplining them. I don’t know if he feared confrontation or simply feared that his sons would reject him, but either way, he let problems go unacknowledged, unaddressed, and unresolved.
Here’s what David lost due to his minimizing …
  • His daughter, Tamar, lost her virginity and her hope for the future.
  • He lost two of his sons, Amnon and Absalom.
  • He nearly lost his kingdom.

Hopefully, my minimizing ways won’t result in the degree of losses that King David experienced, but I know that my fear and minimizing ways have cost me, my family and my marriage. Here are just a few examples of my own minimizing ways …

  • I’ve turned a blind eye when I’ve seen a problem that overwhelmed me.
  • I’ve down-played a problem when my anxiety grew too high.
  • I’ve stuck my head in the sand, hoping that my problem would simply go away if I couldn’t see it.
Is there a problem that you’re ignoring or minimizing in your marriage or your life?
If so, ask yourself: “What will be the consequences of minimizing for myself, my family, my marriage?”
Is the cost too high? I believe that it is for me! I want to stand strong in God’s ability—not my own—to deal with the “giants in my land” (Another account of David that you might want to check out –  1 Samuel 17).
Would you pray for me that I would be strong in the Lord? And if you struggle with this tendency, I promise to pray for you as well!

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.” Ephesians 6:10 (NIV)

10 responses to “Minimizing Messes”

  1. So you have me asking myself, “What am I minimizing?” I can think of something, an area where I could be bolder to address an existing problem. I’ll pray more about it now… Thank you.


  2. ihear you on this…ihave tried to minimize in the pastand it nearly cost me dearly…letting one little thing build and build until it was too much instead of just taking care of it then…nice write..


  3. Minimizing, but building resentments. Hmm. Bad combination. Or, minimizing and rationalizing it away. Bad combination. Good reading here. A regular searching of motives and rationalizations is a good thing. Neither minimizing or magnifying character flaws or sins. Thanks.


  4. This was a really convicting post for me to read. My hubby just started back to school and it’s been a challenge to say the least. Thank you for making me stop and think about how we treat each other.


  5. I am reading through 2nd Sam. right now in my time with the Lord. So your post was very timely. Thank you. 🙂


  6. Yes, I am a minimizer — or else I’m just learning to roll with the punches more (perhaps having been numbed by so many blows!). For sure I’m learning I can’t do things in my own strength! I need to learn to discern which things are genuine giants, and which are holographs hurled at me by Satan himself to lure me away from what’s really important. Thanks for stopping by my blog today, Beth. I really appreciated your kind words!


  7. Ohhh, I am a minimizer too . . . such good things to contemplate! Thank you for sharing!


  8. thank you so much for your kind comments and visitng my blog. I love love your writing.. i am not married but I am a minimizer and call it instad of minimizing “trust” hahha.. but that’s not really what it is. thank you for this conviction. Many blessings


  9. wow, i’ve never thought about this before… thank you beautiful friend.


  10. As my children grow, I need to minimize my Alpha Dog approach to problem solving – meaning more prayer, less words. My husband is the minimizer thinking that things will work their way out with time. I am the totaly opposite – and yes, we balance each other. But I have learned that sometimes I need to back off – whichis incredibly hard. I think vigilant is the word – and I am learning to be mor e healthy vigilant:) You have so made me think!


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