My Lazy Ways in Marriage

Couch Potato SpouseMy husband would never accuse me of being a couch potato, but when it comes to my marriage, sometimes I can be a little lazy. I guess that’s because of the “Law of Lock-Down.”

Never heard of it?

Well, it’s when you have “locked-down” your mate in the bonds of holy matrimony and you never have to shave your legs during winter. Oops, did I really just say that?

Okay, okay, what I meant to say is … you don’t go the extra mile in marriage because you don’t have to. After all, who goes the “extra mile” when your spouse is sitting right next to you?!

It’s true. I’ve been convicted about this mindset. It came to me the other day when my husband and I wanted conflicting things. (Unfortunately, that’s often the case for the two of us).

Anyway, on this occasion, we both had reasonable desires and requests. (Unfortunately, that’s not often the case for the two of us).

So it came down to one or both of us deciding to give to the other.

When I reflected back on it, I feel like I made a mediocre choice in that scenario. It wasn’t the worst choice, but it wasn’t the best either.

[bctt tweet=”Fighting to get your own way in marriage more than you give often reveals laziness in marriage that, in time, can kill love.  ” username=”BethSteffaniak”]

I thought back to our messy marriage days, and I think one of the things that made them messy was my inclination for bad choices in the heat of the moment.

As Gary (my husband) and I began to stretch and grow in our relationship and in our faith, we began to make better choices. But very often, I still don’t choose to make the best choices because the best choices are hard—even painful. Eek!!

But here’s the rub—I don’t want to look back on my life and feel like I lived an average life with a mediocre marriage.

And if I continue to choose to act in ways that are middle of the road, that’s exactly where I will find myself getting run over!  (And if the tread-marks are from a red Charger,* I guess you could say that someone else made a bad choice!)

Maybe you can relate to this quandary. If you can, let me and others know. One more thing, pray for me that I would choose to die to my selfish ways and give my husband my best. And I’ll make another “best” choice and pray that same prayer for you too!

“Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn’t do it, sins.” James 4:17 (NIV)

*My husband is the proud owner of a red Charger, just in case you didn’t know. 😉


What are some lazy ways you’ve resisted giving up because you’re “locked-down” in marriage?


What is one way you’d like to challenge yourself to go the extra mile with your mate?


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2 responses to “My Lazy Ways in Marriage”

  1. Well, I might have been researching selfishness in marriage and come across this 🙂 completely how I have been feeling! I don’t want a mediocre marriage!


  2. […] FYI – If you’re interested in reading the post I mentioned in the video, click the link to go there directly – My Lazy Ways in Marriage. […]


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