With the new year, comes the fall-out from the holiday season. We often overeat, over-drink, overwork and overdo it in just about every conceivable way during that time of year. So January is the prime time to regroup and commit to new and positive changes that bring relief to our out-of-shape lives.

I’m mostly a practical minded person and love a good “step-by-step” plan to get me going in the right direction. Although I also feel that some “to-do lists” fall short of making the lasting changes that really need to take place in our hearts. So I will be focusing on the heart change that must also be part of this process in upcoming posts in the next few weeks. But for today, I’m focusing on the “nuts and bolts” of how to respond differently or more positively towards our mates in times of conflict and hurt.

If there’s one thing that I’ve become convinced of in my 27 years of marriage {gulp! Yes, that number takes my breath away too folks!}, it’s that I am not responsible for my spouse’s right or wrong choices. The moment I feel like I can change him or control what he does, is the moment I’m entering “La-La Land” and heading straight for frustration and disappointment—a place no one wants to stay.

So what’s a spouse to do when her husband or his wife won’t “cooperate” or “get with the program”?

Do the next right thing . . . that is OUR own responsibility!

That means we will avoid doing our spouse’s responsibility. Although there may be times when we will have to step in and shoulder this . . . it’s often much more the exception than the rule.

So today, I’m including a printable chart here that considers several challenging scenarios in marriage with specific, measurable ways you can “do your part” and not feel helpless when and if your spouse won’t do their part. I hope you’ll use this to remind yourself of what that next right thing might look like or you can copy and paste it and revise it to fit your custom desires and preferences.

What makes it hard for you to do the next right thing in marriage or life?

Joining with my friends at  Works for Me Wednesday,  Wifey Wednesday,  Coffee and Conversation,  Wholehearted Wednesday,  Whimsical Wednesday, and Simply Said Mom.

Now it’s time for Wedded Wednesday …

Check out our new WW button!

Find our other WW button code and guidelines here.

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And don’t forget to include a link back here, because the easier people can find me, the more traffic I can send your way!

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