Imagine, if you will, coming home from a long days work, expecting to bask in a warm welcome from the one who’s “supposed to have your back,” only to experience a tongue lashing so sharp that you feel like human hash browns—having been diced up and left on the floor to sizzle in the greasy drippings from your spouse’s frothing mouth.

by jeffryw

Ick!! Wouldn’t that be awful?

It hurts so much more when we receive these kinds of wounds from our spouses, doesn’t it?

I’ve been thinking and praying Psalm 139:23-24, the verses that I’ve encouraged you, my readers, to pray daily as well. And I have to say, God is convicting me of my unwillingness to “raise the bar” in my treatment of my husband.

For some reason, I’ve given myself permission to not just be “gut-level honest” with my hubby, but to let loose with my frustrations and impatience. I’ve let the inconveniences that are tied to him rock my world.

I wouldn’t do that with my friends. Somehow I’ve found deep within me the ability to show respect and honor to my friends, and sometimes even my frienemies. But often I don’t feel the need for that kind of restraint with my husband. Sad.

I think it’s because I’m believing the lie that “he’s my spouse … he should always love me no matter how bad I treat him” or “he should be my soft place to …, er, uh … fall pounce!”

But the truth is that I should show more honor to my spouse—even when the heat is on—not less.

Remember? “Love is patient” or “Love is not easily angered,” yada, yada, yada. Well, that’s how I’ve “remembered it” anyway—minimizing the command to truly live out my love.

I want to do better. I must do better! I’m amazed that my marriage is not more messy than it is! It’s only by God’s grace and my husband’s gracious and forgiving attitude that we are doing as well as we are. 

But what if your spouse doesn’t extend grace to you for “that” kind of attitude? Well, my friend, you probably have a huge, greasy mess on your hands!

I really want to commit to being gracious, patient, and reserving my best behavior and attitude for my husband. Would you hold me accountable for that?

And would you join me as well?

How have you struggled with this?

What lies have you believed, like me, that have tripped you up?

Please share. I’d love to know I’m not alone in this very bad, but thankfully, redeemable behavior!

Linking up with NOBH, Playdates with God, Seedlings in Stone, and Matrimonial Monday