As human beings, everything we do is for a reason. Since God created us with such complexity, there may be a variety of reasons at play. But one of the important sources for all that we do is called the “Homing Instinct.”
In today’s electronic world, you may not have heard of an age-old method of relaying messages with “homing pigeons.” A homing pigeon would go to some far away location with a message tied to his leg, only to return to the familiar over and over again.
We do that. We return to the familiar. But very often the familiar we are most drawn to is similar to the painful situations or relationships we had in our childhoods. So we drum up situations or gravitate toward people and situations that remind us of that pain in an effort to “redo” it correctly this time around. The faces and places may be different, but the situations and problems are still the same.
The problem with this tendency is that unless we are doing things, not just differently, but better and healthier, then we are doomed to repeat the same mistakes that were in the original situation. We can continue this cycle of redoing over and over and over again ad nauseam and never realize that we are simply spinning our wheels.
- What negative patterns am I repeating in my life?
- Do I usually end up doing too much for others?
- Do I gravitate toward people who can’t be intimate or let me in or vice versa?
- Do I try to fill a void with an unhealthy addiction or distraction?
- Do I lose my temper or argue like my parents did?
- Do I expect perfection of myself and/or others?
The list could go on. Just take some time to evaluate your life and relationships. Wherever you’re having problems will be the best place to start your search.
Once you’ve identified the problem patterns, determine which one you are willing to work on first. Then choose a good, Christian book to address that particular issue and commit to the changes the book recommends.
A good book to start with is Love is a Choice. But if you want something more specific to your issue, but have trouble determining which book to choose, then send me an email (address found at the contact page) and I’ll see what else I can recommend to you personally.