There’s a catch-22 in my life. I want to be patient and tolerant of my husband. Sounds all well and good, right? But if you think about it, the word “tolerant” tells you a little bit about where I’m going with this post.
I’m sure my husband doesn’t really want to be “tolerated”—no matter how difficult his habit may be to live with. He wants to be loved and accepted. The problem comes when we mentally mix the bad habit someone has with how we feel about the person. And tolerating someone’s bad habit is a surefire way to mix up two very different ingredients and make one bitter tasting soup that everyone wants to spew out!
- I may deceive myself into thinking that I can tell him later without my resentment showing through.
- Or I may deceive myself into thinking that my irritation isn’t all that bad until I totally lose it in a weak moment.
- Or I may feel like I’ve given my hubby break after break, so he should be happy that I’ve waited so long to gripe!
- Tolerating involves gritting your teeth and shoving down your anger until you just can’t stand it anymore and it comes tumbling out.
- Accepting someone in spite of a flaw means that you discuss the matter before you get to a boiling point and you try to come to some kind of understanding and agreement.
While you’re working on your own problems, you just might forget about your spouse’s, but if not, then at least you will certainly have more understanding and compassion!