My Messy Beginnings
Early in my marriage, my husband and I knew that with each passing day, we were making a bigger and bigger mess of our marriage. We were young, and perhaps naive enough to not know how to change it.
Since we were both Christians who were active in our church and growing in our faith, we were confused about why we were struggling so much. So we decided at some point to seek out a marriage counselor.
Through those counseling sessions, God began to pull back the layers of our marriage, revealing to us, not just the mess we had in our marriage, but also the mess we had in our heads and hearts. We somehow believed that it was our spouse’s fault for the mess we were in!
It wasn’t until we were able to admit our own contribution to the mess of our marriage and humbly surrender that mess to God, that He was finally able to do His redeeming and renewing work in our marriage.
We are still a work in progress. But I have to say, God has brought us so far from those dark and messy early days. Now our marriage perspective is not based upon what we can get from each other or who’s at fault for the latest mess.
We’ve learned how to forgive one another and accept one another as the broken, sinful partners we are. And we’ve learned to surrender our messes daily to the only One who can enable us to love each other as He loves us … with a Big, God-Sized Love!
I have a Masters’s Degree in Marriage and Family Counseling and have counseled women and married couples for over 16 years. My approach as a Biblical counselor is to walk alongside my counselees using God’s word as our guide and point of conviction. I don’t need to tell people what to do since God’s word softens hearts and open eyes better than I ever could!
I’ve worked for many years, leading women’s Bible studies, and women’s recovery groups, as well as co-leading marriage workshops with my husband in our former church. Recently, God has called us to Christ Community Church in Pinehurst, North Carolina, where my husband is now Pastor of Discipleship. I plan to dive in and splash around in their counseling ministry, discipleship groups, and anything to do with the women’s ministry there. Can’t wait to get started!
My husband, Gary, and I have been married for 34 years and counting! We have three handsome sons, Jordan, Graham and Braden. Our oldest, Jordan, is married to our lovely daughter in law, Sarah. They gave us two of the cutest, sweetest sons (3 yo and 1 yo) as our first and only grandsons, with more to come, I’m sure! So, now I’m more than a mom … I’m a grandma too! Well, they call me Bebe and Gary is Papa G!
Blog and Ministry
I began to blog at messymarriage.com on October 10th, 2010 and continued until February of 2022, when I made a big decision and transition. I decided to merge another site I had, worthybiblestudies, with messymarriage. Having them both here allows me to offer the best of both worlds. Now, I can help those who want to grow in their faith, as well as those needing help navigating the messes and difficulties of life and marriage. In this space and place, you’ll find both/and.
Well, thanks so much for visiting, my friend! And I hope you take a good look around, then keep coming back around!