How Praying in a Certain Way Can Bring You Perspective

Have you faced a situation that was so dire that you found yourself saying, “All we can do is pray”? 

Prayer for Healing - Learn about a prayer method that can bring healing and perspective. #prayer #pain #perspective #marriage #toubles

And as you’re saying those words, you might not even believe that prayer is the only thing you can do. 

As humans, we so often don’t. 

When the pain is fiercest, you and I want to try and do something to slow the “bleeding.” We want to ease the grief, fury, or burden that is crushing down on our chests. 

  • For you, it might be a marriage that is on the brink of divorce.
  • Or maybe it’s a tiresome and unrelenting health trial that not only threatens your life but also takes a toll on your marriage, job, and/or peace of mind. 
  • Sometimes it has nothing to do with your relationships or your physical health and everything to do with some long-held and unfulfilled desire. You just don’t know what God wants you to do!

Honestly, during varying seasons, I can relate to all three of these situations!

And at those times, I’m sure I was praying a LOT, just not always praying with an open hand. 

This past year or so, God has been very busy, teaching me to pray with an open hand. 

[bctt tweet=”God has been very busy, teaching me to pray with an open hand. Want to know why I’m praying that way? Come by MM! #Prayer” username=”BethSteffaniak”]

He is teaching me that praying this way is the best way to find His healing. It’s also the best way to truly surrender my wounds and untangle my doubts and/or conflicts in life.

Now, allow me to back up just a bit. 

I’ve journaled my prayers for many decades now, writing them out and keeping them locked away in a private place on my laptop. And whenever conflicts or troubles arose, I also used certain methods of praying to process through them with the help of the Spirit and Scripture.

These have always been such rich and tender times with the Lord, deepening my faith in Him.

But about a year and a half ago, I began to study certain psalms of David that could be linked back to the stories in 1 and 2 Samuel. It was then that I realized how these psalms also give insight into how and why David prayed, especially in light of those stories. 

That’s when I began to see that David’s patterns of prayer were very similar to my own. And where there were differences or omissions in my prayers compared to David’s, I added his facets, intensifying the impact and outcome. 

I felt led to call this revised and better prayer method, Heart Healing Prayer, for obvious reasons. 

This is a method that is especially helpful for those of you who are hurting, confused, discouraged, or deeply wounded in marriage and/or life in general. 

Best of all, this prayer method combines both praying and doing because you invite God to guide you toward a response.

  • Sometimes this response is based on what God’s word and Spirit reveal and, ultimately, involves repentance.
  • And sometimes it involves persevering with greater faith in the work God alone must do in and through you.

Ultimately, this prayer method helps you to truly put the following verse into action . . .

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.  —Proverbs 3:5-6

I will be sharing about HHP bit by bit over many weeks and perhaps months to come here at MM. It might be that I’ll also turn this into a book (or workbook). If and when I do, those who come by MM will be the first to know about it!

My Experience with HHP

Back in May, I was praying with this method through and over several concerns and one major decision. When I completed my prayers, I felt refreshed and refueled in the areas of concern even though God didn’t exactly resolve all the issues. 

Instead, the Lord gave me steps to take in faith as I learn to wait on Him during circumstances and concerns that remain difficult and confusing.

This helps my tendency to feel impatient when waiting on God. I am able to do what the Lord asks me to do while I wait on Him to do His part. 

Thankfully, God also blessed me with clarity and peace regarding the major decision I was praying through. 

That decision involves pursuing my biblical counseling certification beginning in September. My training will take about a year to complete and will be used in tandem with my master’s in marriage and family counseling.

I’ll share more about that as I go along but, in the meantime, if you’re looking for a Christian life coach, be sure to contact me for my fees and programs at messymarriage@gmail.com.

Yes, I’m still working even as I’m studying and preparing for this counseling certification. 

Most of all, if you’re in a confusing, difficult, or even heartbreaking season or situation, consider joining me here as I continue to unpack this subject on surrender and Heart Healing Prayer.


What immediately comes to mind when you consider what you need to pray through? 

Ask God to give you the motivation and time to learn about and journal through this prayer method!


Photo by Fuu J
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