How to Find Hope When You Feel Cursed in Marriage

Find Hope in Marriage - Do you feel like your marriage is cursed? Come by MM to learn how to find Hope! #marriage #hope #Bible #verses #satan #Christ #curse #encouragement #cross #salvation #conflict #troubles #joy

I entered marriage with the mistaken impression that it would always feel much more joyful than painful.

Ironically, my parent’s marriage should have proven the opposite of that reality for me! 😉

Don’t misunderstand—it’s not as if my marriage hasn’t had plenty of joyful moments. It’s just that the joys have ALWAYS been mingled and tinged with harsh realities to one degree or another.

But what I’ve discovered over the years is that God uses the normal challenges of marriage and life as a way to knock impart some sense, humility and perspective into my heart and mind.

And this gives me so much Hope in life and marriage! Even though the bruising of my ego sure has felt painful all along the way. 😉

We’re continuing our ongoing Marriage Battle Strategies series, which is helping us to know how to navigate spiritual warfare in marriage.

Today, we’re looking at how the sin that Adam and Eve committed impacted them (and us), as well as the serpent (Satan) in Genesis 3:14-15.

6 Ways to Find Hope When You Feel Your Marriage is Cursed

1. Remember that Satan was cursed for tempting humans.

So the Lord God said to the serpent, “Because you have done this, “Cursed are you above all livestock and all wild animals! You will crawl on your belly and you will eat dust all the days of your life. Genesis 3:14

Even though this actually cursed the serpent, it ultimately cursed Satan—marking him as the one whose “head” would be crushed by Christ on resurrection day (v. 15)!

The next time you feel like your marriage is cursed or you simply feel like cursing your spouse, fight back discouragement with this Truth and Hope!

2. Accept the consequences of  ‘the curse’ on your life.

The curse has left its mark on our fallen world, showing itself through various earthly crises, including ongoing human suffering and sin. This means that we all, in a sense, eat dust every single day in the trials and temptations of life.

Instead of being discouraged by this, embrace it!

If I had gone into my marriage, accepting how often it would be harsh and unfair, I would have run to my Bridegroom (Christ) so.much.more. I also would have seen these difficulties as a way for Christ to refine my character, trusting Him to redeem my pain.

Tap into that same Hope, my friend!

3. Remember who your enemy really is. 

“And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers . . .”  Genesis 3:15a

This verse isn’t just about a mother worrying that a snake might bite her young! It’s about Satan taking on the role of #1 enemy to humans everywhere (1 Peter 5:8).

But so often in the conflicts of marriage, you’ll be tempted to think your spouse is the enemy when your real enemy is Satan.

The devil must laugh with delight when we fall for that lie. Don’t give a hopeless loser like that the satisfaction!

4. Rejoice because the cross crushes the curse.

“. . . he will crush your head . . .”  Genesis 3:15b

Notice how the pronoun shifts from “her” (v. 15a) to “him” in verse 15b? This means that the real battle was eventually fought between Satan and Christ, with Christ coming to earth as the offspring or seed (v. 15a), representing mankind.

So, even in the worst of marriage and life situations, our real Hope comes from Jesus because He crushed the head of Satan. This also means He crushed the curse of sin and death—winning salvation for us when He rose from the grave!

Need something to rejoice about in the middle of your marriage messes? This surely is it!

5. Be grateful that Christ bore the pain and death intended for you!

“. . . And you will strike his heel.”

Satan not only struck the heel of mankind through the curse of sin and death but also struck Christ when He died on the cross. Thankfully, that’s not where Jesus let the story end! #defeatdeath #resurrectionpower

Take time each day to thank Christ for the suffering and death He endured for your sake. Then go on to thank Him for all the ways He has given Hope and joy to you in your life and marriage.

Refocusing your mind on His goodness will surely lift your spirits and give you Hope in the hurtful seasons of marriage.

6. Live each day in the Hope of the cross!

Living Hope - Find ways to tap into the Hope of Christ when your marriage and life feels cursed! #marriage #hope #Bible #verses #encouragement #discouraged #trials #conflict #troubles #satan #Christ #God

Click here to download a printable of the image above!

If you’ve never received Christ’s salvation, click here to find out how you can!

But if you’re already a Christ-follower, I challenge you and myself to memorize this passage. Then let’s meditate on it in the rocky, messy and unfair moments of life and marriage so that we can find Hope in our times of need!


Which of the 6 ways to find Hope do you need to apply the most in your life?


What harsh reality in your life has God redeemed for you? We’d all love to know!

27 responses to “How to Find Hope When You Feel Cursed in Marriage”

  1. Beth,
    Great reminders of Truth here! I needed to be reminded of #3 – remember who the enemy is. Even though it may seem like my husband and I are enemies when arguments take place, but the only enemy is Satan. He loves to get us to be at odds with each other because when we aren’t in unity, it’s easier for him to isolate and destroy us. We are strongest when we stand together. Our battles are not agsainst each other…it’s a spiritual battle between good and evil. Thanks for the reminder of who wins in the end!
    Bev xx


    1. I find that this truth–my husband is not my enemy–is present in my thinking when my husband and I are on the same page and feeling good about each other. But the moment he does something that strikes a nerve, I forget all that God and His word have taught me about that very truth! It’s amazing how easy it is for us to be deceived by the evil one, Bev! Thank you so much for coming by and joining the conversation, my friend!


  2. A night the colour of pain,
    a morning the colour of fear;
    I am alive and remain,
    but dread the loss of what’s dear.
    I don’t want to leave this life,
    but what lies ahead is the worst,
    and sometimes I feel that my wife
    and I have, for some, been cursed.
    But I lift my eyes to the hills,
    and there in bright dawn is the answer.
    This isn’t what my God wills,
    ‘casue, well, s*** happens, it’s cancer,
    and suffusing all of this place
    is the Lord, who’s the Colour of Grace.


    1. Beautiful words, Andrew! And I really had not thought about it until you mentioned it, but you surely must feel like your LIFE is cursed! Anyone in your shoes would! But you’re finding peace in God’s embrace, seeing life through the colors of His grace! Inspiring!! Thank you for stopping by and know that I pray for you daily!


  3. Beth, I think a lot of us enter marriage with unrealistic expectations of never-ending bliss. I know I did! I need to be reminded of #3 more than any of the other ways to find hope. I don’t need to be right ALL the time. Satan tempts us with pride and makes us stubborn. Learning to let go of that unwarranted pride and developing a humble attitude in my marriage was one of the hardest lessons I had to learn. In fact, I’m still learning it!


    1. Yes, that’s an important one, Laurie! And so tricky too, especially when we ARE right! Lol! Thank you for coming by and being so vulnerable with what you’ve shared! Love it! Hugs to you!


  4. oh such good and practical points to remember as we navigate marriage! Lessons I have also had to learn over the last 20+ years of marriage. Hard learned but well stuck and always bringing me back to fighting with Hope and Truth, as you said. Thank you for sharing this. love this series!


    1. I sure wish we could learn these things sooner rather than 20 years in, Mariel! Lol! But I’m with you on that timeline! It took us at least 15 years before we were able to see these issues for what they were and 20 or more before we could really apply them effectively in times of stress! Still works in progress at 33 years and counting! Thanks so much for coming by, my friend!


  5. Such great words of hope and gospel encouragement here! Thank you for this! And I love the 1 Peter passage to keep the hope of the gospel on my heart throughout the day, in all relationships, and situations! Thank you!


    1. I’m so glad you found this encouraging, Kristin! Yes! I love that passage too! I hope you can print it out and post it somewhere so you’ll be reminded of it over and over, my friend! Hugs to you!


  6. Another powerful message for marriage, Beth. I try to remember who my real enemy is…not my husband, but Satan, the father of lies. So grateful the cross overcame the curse and we can too!


    1. Yes! Satan sure does try to shout that one in our ears! And I join you in being so very grateful for the cross overcoming the curse! Where would we be without Christ in our lives? Eek! I hate to think! Thank you for stopping by, my friend! Praying for you!


  7. We do not war against flesh and blood–this can be a hard reality to remember. For me it has been helpful to remember that we are on the same team, the same side of the table. The enemy loves to get us facing off with one another either on the defense or on the attach. So much in this post! Tweeting and pinning!


    1. Yes, it is, Ginger! I think that’s because the enemy is always so close at hand, whispering this truth in our ear every time someone offends us! And yes! He’s like rabid fan of relational boxing–hoping he gets a ringside seat to our foolish conflicts and arguments. Thanks for coming by and encouraging me, my friend!


  8. Yes, we are in a battle!
    Tweeting, my friend!


    1. Amen! Just never want to forget it! Thanks for stopping by, Michele, and I hope you had a spectacular birthday!


  9. Ack! It’s so easy and tempting to blame our spouse for conflict instead of looking behind the actions and realizing that Satan wants us to feel discouraged and at war with each other. Thank you for the reminder!


    1. Yes, Anita! It’s so easy to get lulled into believing this lie! Thank you for stopping by to encourage me! Hope you have a great week!


  10. Thanks for the open and honest expression. I think we all have some type of unrealistic expectation in marriage that sets us up for more pain than joy.


  11. I just listened to a podcast with the authors of the books “100 Words of Affirmations Your Husband/Wife Needs to Hear.” I think it would definitely infuse lots of hope if we could use more words of affirmation to each other. Like others in the comments here, we all need reminders that our spouse is NOT the enemy, even if it feels like it in certain moments. 😉 Thanks for your consistent messaging for better marriages, Beth!


  12. I was just telling a friend how we easily forget the role Satan plays in things. I’m so grateful when we are reminded that we don’t fight alone. God has us!


  13. “So often in the conflicts of marriage, you’ll be tempted to think your spouse is the enemy when your real enemy is Satan” – this took me years to figure out. Even now I still have to remind myself of this truth. “This means that the real battle was eventually fought between Satan and Christ, with Christ coming to earth as the offspring or seed” – thanking God for this! Great post – tweeted x


  14. Oh Beth … thanks for this reminder of who the enemy really is. That definitely keeps things in perspective, and should help me monitor my own responses so as to not give him anymore ground!


  15. Thank you for the inpsiring post. I do need to remember who the enemy is and it is not my husband. Thank you for sharing with us at Grace & Truth. I always love a dose of your wisdom. Maree


  16. […] How to Find Hope When You Feel Cursed in Marriage, Messy Marriage […]


  17. […] This is an updated edition of a post originally published on Messy Marriage […]


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