How to Settle the Matter that Matters the Most

It’s so easy to let the troubles that keep invading our lives these days consume our attention and focus. If and when we do that, we make ourselves vulnerable in more ways than what simply washing our hands or wearing a mask can prevent. 😉

I say this full knowing you or a loved one might be facing the battle for your/their life. #Coronavirus #pandemic

Please hear me! I’m not trying to make light of that kind of situation AT ALL! It’s horrible and scary. But it’s not the most important thing, especially in this moment of crisis, as wild as that might seem.

I guess this pandemic has me thinking about what matters most in life. After all, I spend an awful lot of time here at Messy Marriage talking about marriage, as well as offering marriage resources and tools so you can better deal with the messes of life and marriage.

But the truth is, none of those things really matter, if you haven’t settled on the one thing that matters the most!

Your relationship with Christ!

After all, what difference does it make if your marriage makes it, but your life and relationship with God aren’t settled?

Will you stand before the Lord’s throne one day and say, “Lord, let me in because I worked hard on my marriage, improving it with the best communication skills!”

If that’s what you say, I think God’s reply will very quickly put you in your place …

“But what did you do with my Son? You know, the One who gave His life for you so that you could live?”

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.  For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.  —John 3:16-17

If you’re a Christ-follower who’s struggling in your marriage, the most important and powerful thing you can do right now is to make Christ the Lord of your life, if you haven’t already. That simply means setting aside your own efforts and agenda daily to rely fully on Christ’s resurrection power to bring healing to your heart and marriage!

I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strength he exerted when he raised Christ from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms.  —Ephesians 1:18-20

There’s resurrection power in making Christ Lord of your …

  • Marriage and relationship conflicts by yielding to Him and His ways in heat of the moment and beyond.
  • Unmet longings, by letting Him—your One true Love—fill up in your heart what your spouse cannot begin to do.
  • Fear of abandonment by surrendering it at the feet of the Savior who never leaves nor abandons you (Isaiah 54:5-6)!
  • Unchanging and discouraging marriage and/or life situations, by letting God transform “you” in of your circumstances.

And if you’ve never received Christ’s gift of forgiveness and salvation, then consider making that commitment on this most momentous day and time—EasterChrist’s gift is just waiting for you to receive it!

Once you receive and open His gift, death, and sin will no longer hold you captive. But Jesus doesn’t stop there! He tops the best gift ever—His forgiveness and gift of eternal life—with His rich and abundant grace in the day-to-day.

Lord Jesus, give me more grace and goodness, please! For I am in desperate need! Can I get an “amen”?

I [Jesus] have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.           —John 10:10b

Don’t forget . . . as a Christ-follower, His resurrection power is always available to you! It’s just not utilized until you look to and rely on Him as your Lord at every turn!  This is something I aim to do every moment of every day. It takes intentionality and a surrendering of my life for His.

Won’t you join me in pursuing the One who brings ultimate peace and healing? 

Click my Know God page and read all about receiving Christ’s gift. Then get busy praying and surrendering your life to Christ! 


If you’re a believer: what has making Christ your Lord done for your life and marriage?


If you’re not a believer: what hinders you from making that commitment?


13 responses to “How to Settle the Matter that Matters the Most”

  1. This is such key advice, and even though we’ve been married forty years, I still need to be reminded of this points often.


  2. If it weren’t for Jesus, I would have walked out on my marriage years ago. So grateful for His amazing grace in my life! Happy Easter!


  3. Andrew Budek-Schmeisser Avatar
    Andrew Budek-Schmeisser

    Great post, Beth, and absolutely right. Would say more of my own experience but too ill to formulate comment, apologies.

    He Is Risen.


  4. I can’t even begin to express how true I think your words are today!


  5. yes, yes, Beth. no matter what our writing emphasis, our storylines, our faith stands as the foundation for any creative wisdom that flows …


  6. Hi Beth! What an awesome reminder this was (and still is) to everyone. I saw it as I was running out of the door to church. No matter could ever be as important. I gave my heart to Christ at 16 and I have never regretted for a single moment. The Lord is so good. He saved my marriage and made me a better mom. Basically, had it not been for the Lord, I would one seriously messed up sinner . . . now I’m a sinner saved by grace! Yee Haw!!


  7. How wonderful to encourage us to make Christ the Lord of our situations, whatever they are. Thank you Beth.


  8. Yes, these times really appall,
    but remember what applies:
    God is sovereign over all,
    and everybody dies.
    This life cannot be our home,
    forever and a day;
    time will make dust from our bone,
    and winter’s born from May,
    but we’ve been promised something more,
    something bought with blood,
    something in the Lion’s roar
    o’er the Armageddon flood,
    that we will be taken hence,
    a ransom of deliverance.


  9. Amen! What a powerful message! It’s a daily surrender and even though I continue to try to push my way sometimes, it’s always infinitely better when I surrender to Jesus! The more areas I give to him (marriage, parenting, frustrations), the better those areas become. Oh how I love reading about the power of our Savior!! Blessings to you, Beth!


  10. So often we forget that the same God who raised Jesus from the grave is alive in us and we have access to His power! We can absolutely call that power out to strengthen and heal a broken marriage!!!!!! It was great finding you in the Grace and Truth Link up!


  11. God’s grace and forgiveness are beyond our comprehension, Beth. He knows we are not perfect – He made us human, and with that we are fallible. Your post reminded me of what the theologian Paul Tillich calls “our Ultimate Concern”, by which he means our relationship with God. I loved this post!


  12. Yep. that’s it, no matter what. Thanks, Beth. Tweeted.


  13. Breathing’s hard, runs uncontrolled,
    and I am bled down to the bone,
    and yet I don’t intend to fold,
    but know my strength is not my own;
    it comes down from that desert hill
    where they stand, three crosses high,
    symbol of a tyrant’s will
    against a dark and brooding sky.
    In the center hangs the Christ,
    the perfect Lamb that’s crushed to save,
    by everything He sacrificed,
    the likes of me from that black grave,
    and set me on my feet in style
    to fight this cancer with a smile.


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