How to Understand Emotional Differences in Marriage Using the Bible

Discover what the Bible says are your differences from your mate, and how to embrace them each day! #marriage #differences #emotional

As women, God made us special. We are uniquely designed with different emotional makeup than a man. Why do you think God made a woman for Adam instead of creating another Adam for Adam?

He created a woman for Adam because Adam needed something different than himself. Men and women are different because God made us that way for a unique purpose. 

Some years ago, my father and mother were involved in a serious automobile accident. They were attempting to exit a very busy highway outside the big city of Atlanta where we live.

The exit ramp was backed up with cars waiting in the emergency lane to exit the highway. My father and mother were waiting to exit when they were rear-ended by a car going at highway speed. Their car was totaled.

My father called me from the emergency room and this is what he said: Your mother and I have been in a car accident. If you want to see your mother, you’d better come.” 

You can imagine the panic that gripped my heart, the lump that formed in my throat, and the knot in my stomach! All the way to the hospital I prayed. Lord, let me see my mother alive one more time—please, let me tell her how much I love her, one more time.”

When we arrived at the hospital, I found my father pacing the floor of the emergency room and my mother in the x-ray lab. She was in pain and spent months in therapy, but her injuries were not life-threatening. To say the least, I was very grateful and quite relieved!

My father said, If you want to see your mother, you’d better come.” That’s simple enough, right? I, being the emotional creature that I am, read between the lines and added some words like alive and now.

Do you see how differently I interpreted my father’s words? 

We are uniquely designed with different emotional makeup than a man. Yet, even though there is a difference, we were both created by God, for His glory, and for a unique purpose.

The Work of His Hands

Isaiah 43:1-7 is a beautiful passage where the Lord speaks to Jacob, Israel, and us. In this passage, we are reminded that He formed us and we are not to fear because He redeemed and called us by name. We are His!

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they will not overwhelm you. When you walk through fire you will not be burned, and the flame will not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.” (43:2-3) 

What a beautiful reminder! The passage goes on to say in verses 4-5 that we are precious in His sight, He loves us, and we should not fear for He is with us. Why? Verse 7 is the why—because we are called by His name and created for His glory.

He has created us, formed us, and made us (both male and female) for His honor, for His glory, and for a unique purpose.

One of my favorite passages in the Bible is about the potter and the clay. Isaiah 64:8 says, But now, O Lord, You are our Father; we are the clay, and You are our Potter; we are all the work of Your hand.” God created us for His unique purpose and we are all the work of His hands.

Do you ever think of yourself as the work of God’s hands?

He knows us as the potter knows his lump of clay. What a precious thought! Your mind, your will, and your emotions are all the work of His Hands.

Burden Bearers and Helpers 

This emotional difference even defines our roles as men and women. Men are made to be burden bearers. Women are not. We were created to be the helpers.

Women are not emotionally designed or equipped to bear burdens. We are designed, by God, to be helpers. That’s one reason it is so important for us to give our burdens to the Lord. He never intended for us to carry them.

In Genesis 2:18, God says Adam, you need help! God knew, when He created Adam, that he [Adam] would need a helper. It was no surprise to God at all.

God also knew that although He created all kinds of animals, none of them would be a suitable helper for Adam. He had not yet created the helper that Adam needed. 

Verse 18 says, Then the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” Adam needed a helper that was fit for him, and he had not found that among all the animals that God created. 

I find it humorous that first before God makes a helper for Adam, He gives him the task of naming the animals. Do you think God knew if He waited until after Eve was created the job might never get done?

In Genesis 2:20, we find Adam giving names to all the animals. Adam must have also been looking for a mate of his own. We would assume that he would have noticed that the animals all had mates.

But the Bible says that there was not a mate found for Adam. I guess that the dog isn’t man’s best friend after all. Verse 20 says, The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam, there was not found a helper fit for him.”

God creates for Adam a mate, a helper, in Genesis 2:22-23. Verse 22 tells us, And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man He made into a woman and brought her to the man.” I would love to have been there to see that!

Can you imagine the look on Adam’s face when Eve came walking out from around that bush or from behind that tree? Finally, there was Eve, the creation of an Almighty God to be a helper to the first man after God’s own heart. What a moment! 

The passage goes on to tell us in verse 23,Then the man said, This, at last, is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.” Doesn’t that sound like a beautiful love song? “Bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.” Then Adam gives her a name, “…she will be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man (2:23).

God knew all along that He would create a helper for Adam. It was no surprise to Him that for Adam, there was not found a helper fit for him (Geneses 2:20). It was no surprise to God that Adam needed a helper. God intended it to be that way.

Woman, the man’s helper, was taken out of man.

I’d like to think since God took the woman out of man, man is missing something that woman completes in him. Have you ever thought of it that way? There is something in me, the helper, which completes my husband, the burden bearer.

Today, I want to encourage you, as the unique creature you are. Remember that you were designed differently on purpose by a loving God. You are the work of His hands.

You are so emotionally different from your husband. You were created to be the helper in your marriage relationship. God intended for you to be that. God created you the way you are for a unique purpose. Embrace that!

Patsy is a wife, mother of four, and grandmother. She is a Christian blogger and content manager at with a heart for encouraging women to grow in and share their knowledge and love of Jesus Christ.

She drinks more coffee and eats more dark chocolate than the average person. Patsy lives in Atlanta, Georgia with her husband and Ellie the cat.

You can connect with her on her blog—, as well as Instagram, Pinterest, Facebook, and Twitter.


What emotional differences in your spouse are hardest for you to navigate in Christlikeness? 


What are you doing to embrace Scripture’s view of oneness in marriage?

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