How Much Humility Are You Living Out in Your Life and Marriage?

Humility in Marriage - This post offers an inventory that can gauge your level of humility in life and marriage. Beth then shares her results and guides you on how to apply yours! #inventory #humility #quotes #lessons #Bible #practice #behumble #spouse #inspiration #encouragement #marriage

Humility is one of those incredibly important character qualities we need in life and, especially, in marriage. Unfortunately, many often misunderstand what humility involves.

Rick Warren helps to clarify this issue, saying . . .

“Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.”

Aside from the fact that God commands that we seek to be humble, I’d like to consider . . .

4 Reasons Why We Need Humility 

I humbly admit that this list is not exhaustive! 😉 

1. To develop our trust in God.

It takes a lot of trust in God to humble ourselves, letting our good Father call the shots in our lives.

2. To reflect Christ’s character.

If we want to be followers of Christ, we need to mirror the humble life He lived.

3. To remind us of our equal footing with others.

We all have sinned; therefore, there’s no room to look down upon or mistreat anyone else.

4. To stretch our servant-muscles.

If we don’t do this, our relationships will sour and weaken. Service to your mate is one of the most important ways to deepen his or her love for you.

Allow me to unpack the Humility Inventory, using my answers as a way to illustrate how these can impact your marriage as well.

How Humble Are You? Why it Matters . . .

1. I am fairly quick to confess my sins and failures not only to God but to my spouse as well.

Hover over 2 Chronicles 7:14 to see one important form that humility takes in relationships.

I gave myself a “4” here because I’ve seen the benefits of quickly confessing to my spouse. When I don’t, it’s just a matter of time before I feel compelled to confess so I can be released from the burden of guilt. Besides, it immediately breaks down the barrier my sin created between my husband and myself. Happy, happy! Joy, Joy!

If you haven’t felt these benefits, then you’re cheating both yourself and the Lord, as much as you’re cheating your spouse.

2. I try to avoid arguing with or convincing others to see things my way, turning to God for wisdom and patience in times of conflict and tension.

Hover over Proverbs 11:2 to see how humility provides wisdom.

I gave myself a “3” here because I, unfortunately, am undoing a long-held habit of arguing. It’s still the bane of my existence and beckons to me like a bowl of my fave, Salted Carmel Cluster ice cream! 😉

If you struggle here, you’re likely far too fixated on your opinions and convictions being right. Imagine for a second how it would feel if your spouse felt like “God’s gift of wisdom” to you. Catch my drift?

3. When someone like my spouse gives me advice, I typically listen and want to learn from their experiences and point of view.

Hover over Proverbs 12:15 to discover how “receptive” the humble are.

I rated myself a “3” here because I tend to throw up my defenses at first, especially with my husband. Once I’ve let the dust settle, I almost always take his words to heart. 

If you struggle here, you’ll probably miss objective insights that can help you personally, not to mention, missing moments that can bond you to your mate. 

4. I generally avoid pointing out my accomplishments to others, knowing that God will bring me any necessary credit at the right time and way.

Hover over Proverbs 27:2 to read this beneficial rule for life.

I gave myself a “4” here because bragging just feels so vain to me. And I definitely trust that God will bring into the light what He believes needs attention.

If you struggle here, you’re probably really distancing yourself from your spouse. No one likes to be around a braggart or feel less than.

5. My love and admiration for Jesus’ servant-hearted life often spill over into acts of service that I want to do for my spouse and others.   

Hover over Philippians 2:5-7 to see one of the ways Jesus showed humility.

I gave myself a “3” here because I serve, but don’t always serve out of my love for Jesus. Very often I do this out of obligation to others instead.

If you struggle here, you’ll likely also struggle with burnout in life and bitterness toward your mate. #awfulcombination

6. I regularly ask God to evaluate my heart and attitude, knowing I can miss areas of sin and pride present in my life.

Hover over Romans 12:3 to see the key ingredient in finding a humble perspective of yourself (Hint, hint … It’s faith!).

I gave myself a “5” here because I’ve trained myself to do this often and with great thoroughness. God has really blessed those efforts too!

If you struggle here, you’ll also struggle with denial and lack of insight into yourself, your spouse, and your marriage. We can’t find healing for what we don’t see and acknowledge.

7. I work hard to accept and love others, including those who are not like me, those who test my patience, and those who are less fortunate than I am. 

Hover over Romans 12:16 to see another characteristic of humble people.

I gave myself a “3” here because of my tendency to argue. It’s probably my worst character problem.

If you struggle here, you probably don’t have a very peaceful relationship with your spouse. Each conflict you instigate will serve to crack the foundation of your marriage.

8. I accept my flaws and weaknesses, yielding them to God and trusting Him to use them to make me stronger in my faith.

Hover over 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 to see the value of embracing your weaknesses.

I gave myself a “5” here because I fully realize and am grateful for Christ’s power in my weaknesses.

If you struggle here, you’re probably also very insecure. Insecurity often grows into a deadly cancer in marriage.

9. I try to be more aware of and meet others’ needs, including my spouse’s, out of my love for God and not out of a desire to gain other people’s approval and praise. 

Hover over Philippians 2:3-4 to see the direction humility takes.

I gave myself a “3” here because I can be far too self-protective. Seems rather ridiculous, given the protection Christ provides for me!

If you struggle here, you’ll end up protecting and investing in the wrong things—damaging your marriage as a result.

10. I hold my plans for the future in an open hand, allowing God to change them whenever He has something different in mind for me.

Hover over James 4:14-16 to learn what humble dependence on God looks like.

I gave myself a “4” here because I like to plan far too much! Lol! But I’ve also learned to hold my plans loosely—letting God determine the best outcome.

If you struggle here, you’re probably driving your mate crazy with your need to over-achieve and/or control every outcome. “Let it go” to God! 

Homework: If you haven’t already taken the Humility Inventory, click here to download a PDF. Then focus in on one or two of your weak areas this week, doing what the corresponding Bible verse(s) encourage as your action point. For example: I’m going to work on #2 and #7letting God speak, instead of giving my spouse a piece of “my” mind. Click here to find all the posts in this series.

Also, be sure to join me next week when I’ll be examining what a “forgiving” attitude looks like, with another inventory to help us evaluate ourselves.

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Based on the 10 insights above, which one do you plan to work on in your life and marriage?


In what way do you plan to put this into action in your life and/or marriage?

23 responses to “How Much Humility Are You Living Out in Your Life and Marriage?”

  1. Interesting to find this post immediately after a conversation with my husband about someone we are concerned about–and the word that kept coming to my mind as we talked was “self-referential.” Every conversation, every issue comes back to how it will impact on this person. And to me, that is the exact opposite of humility.
    May God give us discernment to catch ourselves when we slip into that mindset.


    1. Yeah, that’s not a good sign, Michele! And the sad thing is that someone like that rarely recognizes how ugly and dismissive their attitude is to others. It truly is the opposite of humility! Yes, I like that prayer! I’m hoping there are a LOT of blindspots that the Lord reveals to me in this process. It’s already been rather eye-opening and heart-opening! Thanks so much for coming by, my friend! I truly appreciate your engagement and support!


  2. It isn’t really necessary
    when you’re as great as me
    to pretend that one should carry
    the burden of humility.
    I’m just the best at all I do,
    a specimen most ‘magnifique’,
    such that, my friends compared to you
    I’m something of a freak.
    But I retain the common touch
    to caution poor, benighted souls
    who might be tempted, far too much
    to try to join me in the rolls
    that God updates ‘fore He retires
    nightly, of those He most admires.



    1. You are in rare form today, Andrew! I LOVE that poem and you had me laughing out loud as I read along! I’m praying for you, my friend! Praying that at least today is a better day than yesterday! xxoo


      1. So glad you enjoyed this, Beth! XOXOXO right back (and some doggy-hugs)


  3. I feel like you wrote this post just for me, Beth! “Humility” is my word for 2020. I need to take this quiz and give myself a grade on each question too. I especially loved this reason for humility: “If we want to be followers of Christ, we need to mirror the humble life He lived.”


    1. Really?? How cool is that, Laurie! I’ve been drawn to humility as well. I guess because I need it so much and also because I realize how transformative it is when I let humility be active in my life and relationships. I’m with you on mirroring Christ’s humble life! I’m asking Him daily to lead the way for me! Thanks so much for stopping by and encouraging me, my friend!


  4. Beth,
    You’re right, we are both on the same page with humility. My husband sometimes says that I should have been a litigation attorney because I LOVE to argue. I can throw up a wall of defensiveness faster than anyone. These are not pretty traits. I am trying to be more humble and listen to what my husband has to say – hearing him out before butting in with my protests. Sounds like we are a lot alike. Great list of questions and scriptures to ponder! Great post!
    Bev xx


    1. Funny! I’ve actually said that about my husband. He’s more of a bulldog when it comes to arguing sometimes than I am. But I let him hook me in with every challenge and question he prods me with. It’s like I can’t let him have the last word! Lol! I’m sorry that we are alike in this one way, but I suppose it’s a very humble thing to admit! 😉 Thanks for stopping by and joining the conversation, Bev! You are a ray of sunshine for me when you stop by!


  5. So much wisdom Beth! It gets so easy to let my pride lead me so much so that I cannot hear what a God is saying or what God is using others to say to me. This is worse if I do not like the messenger. Thank you for sharing your knowledge here.


    1. Yes, pride is a real problem . . . at least in my life! Lol! Thank you for coming by to join the conversation, Brittany! I appreciate you!


  6. Rick Warren’s quote is powerful indeed.

    Now … to live it out.

    Thanks for pointing us in the right direction, friend …


    1. Yes, it is, Linda! And amen to living it out as well! Thanks for coming by and encouraging me, my friend!


  7. Another wonderful inventory, Beth. I think most of these are hard in our human flesh, that war within us. But if we live by the Spirit and keep in step with the Spirit, it’s easier to be humble and put others’ needs above our own. (Gal. 5:23-24) I pray to evaluate this often and daily even. Thank you.


    1. Thank you, Karen! Great point, my friend. We surely cannot make any changes without God’s power working in and through the insights we glean and put into practice. Hugs to you!


  8. Humility is a funny thing. If you think you are humble, you’re probably not. Great post, Beth! Love your 4 points here, and the quote by Rick Warren is spot on!

    Pinned & tweeted.

    Thank you for linking up at InstaEncouragements!


    1. Thank you, Patsy! I so appreciate your support and friendship!


  9. I keep meaning to tell you, Beth, I worked for Starbucks Coffee Company for years. I just retired about a year and a half ago. On my original resume, I used these exact same coffee cup ring graphics! Seriously! On a resume. LOL Kind of a stupid thing to do on a resume, but honestly, I think it’s what got me the job. Anyway… every time I visit your blog and see these graphics it reminds me and I have to smile. 🙂


    1. How funny! I love that! Since I’m quite the coffee lover, so it just seemed to visually capture what my messy marriage might be like if it was a tablecloth. Lol! Thanks for letting me know that inside track and glad it makes you smile!


  10. Elizabeth Ziebka Avatar

    So much wisdom in this post and very concrete ways I need to be working on ME in my marriage in order to be the best wife God calls me to be. Thank you for sharing your wisdom!


    1. Thank you, Elizabeth (Emileigh)! 😉 You’ve encouraged me, my friend! And yes, that’s the exact right place to work–on ourselves! God can do wonders with that! Hugs to you!


  11. I need to hold my plans with open hands better. Humility in marriage is so important. We both come with ideas and need to prefer each other and let the other lead often. It was great finding you in the Grace and Truth Link up!


    1. Yes, and that’s so hard to do, Tiffany! Glad that you found this encouraging! And happy to link up at Grace and Truth!


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