How to Gain Insight—Improving Your Life and Marriage

How to Gain Insight - This post offers 4 ways you can gain more insight into your life and marriage. Click to find out how! #marriage #2020 #insight #inspiration #Bible #verses #improvement #goals #spouse

I couldn’t resist choosing my “one-word” based on the year we’ve just entered—2020! I’m considering this to be an important reminder from the Lord to pursue greater insight in the new year. And though I cannot improve my own faulty eye vision, I can improve my insight into God, myself, my spouse, and my marriage.

But even better than that . . .

I can help you—MM reader—to find better insight into all of these priorities as well. Best of all, insight is one of the main ways God brings growth, encouragement, and healing to our lives and marriages.

Who doesn’t want that?

“Insight” and “wisdom” are often paired in Scripture, and are synonyms for the most part.

But I’ll be looking at INSIGHT through two lenses . . .

1. Though wisdom involves knowing God’s truths and principles, insight goes furtherapplying these truths to our lives.

2. Insight is also about looking deeply into something and, especially for our purposes, into someone.

With wisdom and insight in mind, let’s gain a bit of insight from one of the wisest men to ever live—Solomon (1 Kings 4:30-31).

“God gave Solomon wisdom and very great insight, and a breadth of understanding as measureless as the sand on the seashore.”  —1 Kings 4:29

Just imagine trying to count the grains of sand on the seashore! 😉 That perfectly captures the measureless amount of wisdom, insight, and understanding Solomon was given by God (1 Kings 3:9).

Thankfully, the gift of wisdom was not only extended to Solomon!

In the book of James, we find a true and comforting promise that is meant for all who ask God for insight  . . .

“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”  —James 1:5

So are you ready to take on the challenge? To pursue greater insight with me in 2020? 

I hope so!

4 Directions for Examining and Gaining “INSIGHT”

First, we will take an honest and comprehensive view of OURSELVES.

This involves prayerful examination, as well as taking inventory of our tendencies, habits and, most uncomfortably, our sins. 

Second, we’ll take an in-depth look at our SPOUSES.

This means becoming a student of our spouses—learning as much as possible about them. Even and especially for those who think they know their spouses inside and out! 😉

I will be introducing mostly pleasant, positive, and interesting opportunities and ideas here all throughout the year. If this doesn’t put you at ease, at least this should relieve your spouse!

Third, we’ll closely examine our MARRIAGES.

This challenge will first be done in light of what we’re learning about ourselves and our spouses. But it also will include looking intently into what God’s word says about marriage. Quite the deep pool from which to swim!

Fourth, we’ll look deeply into who GOD is and what that means for you, your spouse, and your marriage.

This last and most important challenge will give you the most insight into all the other directions! If you and I do a great job here, we can expect God to bless us in unexpected and encouraging ways.

If, after you’ve given yourself fully to this process, you don’t find the healing you want for your marriage, then I’m sure you’ll find the grace to endure it. Not only that, but God and His word WILL bring healing to your HEART! That’s because this direction and pursuit will draw you and me closer to the Lord.

“ . . . He [God] rewards those who earnestly seek him.”  —Hebrews 11:6 (emphasis mine)

“He [God] heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”            —Psalm 147:3 (emphasis mine)

How this series and challenge will work: Each week I’ll be focusing on a particular issue that will offer greater insight into how you view yourself, your spouse, your marriage, and God. I’ll also be providing a brief inventory (free PDF) with each post that will help you identify your strengths and weaknesses in relation to the topics listed below.

Consider purchasing a notebook and printing out each inventory so that you’ll have a comprehensive view once the series has been completed. Most importantly, I’ll also be providing steps you can take to strengthen your weaknesses and reinforce your strengths. We can’t expect to gain insight and not do anything with it! 

Some of the issues and topics we’ll be looking at include: 

  • Identity/Self-esteem
  • Humility/Patience
  • Forgiving Attitude
  • Faithfulness/Trustworthiness
  • Honesty/Vulnerability
  • Unselfishness
  • Submission
  • Unity
  • Trust
  • Connection to Spouse
  • Spiritual Encouragement
  • Affection
  • Affirmation
  • Sexual Intimacy
  • Healthy Boundaries
  • Money Matters and Contentment
  • Parenting Approach
  • Children (How much of a priority/focus they are)
  • In-law Relations 
  • Spiritual Disciplines
  • Love and Respect
  • Love of and for God
  • Trust of God

This opportunity will be like taking a marriage course from a marriage counselor/life coach . . . That would be me! 😉 But most of all, you’ll learn how to apply the truths of Scripture to your life and marriage. After all, God is the greatest and wisest Counselor and Healer of all!

Before we begin this effort, I want to make sure that you have clarity on an all-important issue. If you are uncertain about whether or not you have placed your faith in Christ, please read here and here. Embracing Christ’s free gift of salvation, instead of relying on your “good works” to win His favor, will be so crucial to your success in this effort to find healing and health! If you haven’t made this commitment yet, then don’t waste another day!

If you’d like to get a head start on taking the inventory for the focus of next weekidentity and self-esteem—then click on Insight into Self Inventory to download the PDF. Click here to find all the posts in this series. 

I hope you’ll join me in praying for insight each day using the following prayer. Click here to download a full-size, printable PDF for your daily use . . .

A Prayer for Insight - Click to find a downloadable link at MM so that you can print this out and pray it each day for your life and marriage! #prayer #Bible #verses #Scripture #encouragement #wisdom #insight


Which of the many issues, listed above, do you need the most insight into? 


What is your “one-word” for 2020 and how do you hope it will improve your life?


Insight for 2020 - This is my personal one word for 2020 and will also be the series that will provide insight into key issues in life and marriage. #marriage #insight #troubles #conflict #encouragement #insight #spouse #self #Bible #verses #quotes #inspiration


22 responses to “How to Gain Insight—Improving Your Life and Marriage”

  1. I love your heart for marriage and the way you shepherd couples through this blog. You have a gift, my friend. My word of the year is “steward” and I will be sharing more about it Tuesday on the blog. Happy new week!


    1. Thank you so much, Mary! It does seem to be the calling God has continued to keep before me and my husband. We love helping couples together more than anything. And I simply want to help people grow in their faith and thrive, knowing that’s the best way to improve their satisfaction in life and marriage.

      I think your one-word is really unique and will produce so much in your already productive life and ministry, my friend! You have such a servant’s heart. Thanks for stopping by and encouraging me!


  2. My word this year is “train”. I want to train to be more like Christ through his word. Train to be a loving, forgiving, understanding wife. Train to memorize God’s word and apply it. I always TRY to be better but trying is in my own willpower and without the training of Christ, I know I won’t get very far. He is the best trainer I can ask for (and He is free) 2 Timothy 3:16-17
    One of the things I love about you is your insight.


    1. Hey Becky, nice to see you showing up here in the comments! I think that word will be a hard one for sure! No one really likes to train or be disciplined (Heb. 12:11), but it sure does produce the spiritual fruit we love and want from our lives. And I can so relate to trying to do things in my own strength. I guess I’m in that training along with you, as I know Christ is trying to teach me a thing or two about dependence on Him! 😉 Thanks for stopping by, my friend! You’ve encouraged me!


  3. What a great word, Beth! And I love the way you are approaching it. I’m sure it this year will be a blessing to many marriages in need of the Lord’s insight into the best way to live in that intimate relationship of marriage. Praying God’s blessings on the year ahead for you!


    1. I do hope so, Deb! I want this to feel very personal, almost like a “running group.” I will be sharing much of what I’m learning and running away from and toward in my own marriage and life. I think that could produce not only the results we are hoping for, but the kind of friendships in the blogosphere that are great to find–like with you! Thanks for stopping by and encouraging me! I really appreciate you and your kindness to me!


  4. Interesting serendipity; I recently sought insight, and it did not end well.

    I sought insight into who I was,
    but should have gone with care;
    it really ended bad because
    I found nothing there.
    That man whom I tried to be
    was made with mirrors and with smoke;
    there was no consistency
    in the opium-dream from which I woke.
    The shock was sudden and severe
    and I long to steal away
    into a case of strongest beer
    until some other day
    when, perhaps the rainbow’s end
    might allow my soul to mend.


    1. Oh, Andrew! There is so much that IS there within you–that Christ has developed through your suffering! Don’t underestimate that, unless this humble stance keeps you moving in the right direction, of course! 😉 Thanks again for sharing your wit and winsome thoughts with us. You amaze me, my friend! Prayers that today has moments of comfort and peace that keep you buoyed above the waves of adversity!


  5. This looks great, Beth! Thankful for your ministry. I definitely need more insight into healthy boundaries, love and respect, and honesty/vulnerability, and will be following along. My word for the year is “congruence” – I my outside to match my insides. So easily said than done!


    1. Hey there, Jessica! So nice to see you popping up here in the conversation! I do hope this is as eye and heart-opening for you as I’m sure it will be for me too! I love that idea for your one-word. I want that same thing–to allow Christ to be so at home in my heart that everyone sees “Him” peering at them through the windows when I look at them with my own eyes. Hugs to you!


  6. I love your 4 points here, Beth! Insight is a good word for 2020. We all could certainly use more into God!

    Pinned & tweeted.

    Thanks for linking up at InstaEncouragements!


    1. Thanks, Patsy! Amen to that! Thanks so much for the social media love and you’re welcome for the link up! It’s my pleasure to be supportive of you and your ministry, my friend!


  7. Beth, I love the way you’ve set out to look at these 4 areas, use insight from God’s Word to apply what we learn. This is sure to be a great series. The first 3, looking at ourselves and our spouses and honestly looking at our marriage will not amount to much unless we complete the final step of going to God’s Word and APPLYING it.


    1. Oh yes, Karen! That’s one thing I’ve learned over the years, especially after undertaking blogging. Christ has to be central and the foundation for every effort I do or insight I want to gain. Thanks so much for your kind words and support, my friend! Hugs to you!


  8. I love your plan to gain insight into who we are, our marriages, and God. Your topics look so relevant. I’m looking forward to this series, Beth!

    My One Word for 2020 is Linger. I hope to use it to slow down and focus on the most important things a little longer than I normally give them time for.


    1. I do hope it doesn’t disappoint, Lisa! But I know that if we keep our eyes on God and His word, it surely won’t! I do love your one-word for 2020. It’s one that I need to give more attention to as well. Hugs to you, my friend!


  9. Beth, this challenge sounds great. I can not wait to read more!


    1. I do hope it encourages you and me both! There’s so much that we can learn if we will look to God’s word for insight and help! It’s like that mirror (James 1:23) that we must put up in front of ourselves to see what’s inside so that our inside matches the outside like Jessica said above!


  10. Beth, this is so needed right now. Danny is drinking again. I am at a loss. Needing help in all aspects of our marriage.


    1. I’m so sorry to hear that, Sarah Sue! I’ll be touching on addictions in this series, so I hope it gives you some helpful insights for dealing with that challenge. I’ll also begin to pray for you in that regard. Hugs to you, my friend!


  11. […] How to Gain Insight—Improving Your Life and Marriage, Messy Marriage […]


  12. Having read this I thought it was extremely informative.

    I appreciate you finding the time and energy to put this short article together.
    I once again find myself spending way too much time both reading
    and leaving comments. But so what, it was still worthwhile!


Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: