“I’m a Mess” . . . Allowing God to Work in and Through Weakness

God Uses Weakness - Find out how a young mom is dealing with being a mess. It will inspire you to allow God to turn your mess into His message of hope and healing. #mess #God #Bible #wife #mom #motherhood #marriage #weakness #transparency #accountability

Today, I’m so excited to share my dear friend Emileigh Ziebka’s wise words with you! I’ve gotten to know Emileigh through my church and in my Facebook hosted Bible studies. Her heart for God has shined brightly, drawing me to her like a magnet. I think you’ll feel the same way after reading her very personal reflections here. Please make her feel welcome by commenting and sharing this incredible and vulnerable word all around the web!

I have been happily married to my best friend for 9 years. We have two healthy, happy kids—6 and 4 years old. I work from home for a small transportation company, and I am passionate about connecting with other young moms.

God Uses Weakness - Find out how a young mom is dealing with being a mess. It will inspire you to allow God to turn your mess into His message of hope and healing. #mess #God #Bible #wife #mom #motherhood #marriage #weakness #transparency #accountability

A writer, I am not.

A faithful lover of the Lord, I certainly am, and I’ve learned that when He asks me to share something, it’s best to answer the call.

The Lord placed upon my heart clearly the need to share what so many of us struggle with and the comfort He offers us to both admit that struggle and trust Him with it. Society tells us that we need to have it all together. In reality, none of us do.

So before we begin, it’s important you know that I’m a mess.

I had someone say to me recently, “You just have it all together.”

A couple years ago, this would have been flattering. In that moment, I looked at her and made it clear that actually, I don’t. I’m a mess just like every other mom trying to keep her kids alive, husband happy and house presentably clean in case someone stops by. 

I have young kids who have activities to be transported to and things to practice during the week, a husband who thankfully loves me and wants my undivided attention when available, laundry and cleaning to do, and a family who all appreciates, whether they say so or not, meals every day. I am so thankful to work from home and love to read in my free time (let’s be honest, said “free time” doesn’t exist with young kids).

Some days, I wear a hat because I don’t have the energy to shower. Some days, I lose my patience when there’s an excess of whining or ungratefulness. Most days, I stay up way too late at night trying to catch up on work or my to-do list. And some days, I choose to sleep in instead of reading of my Bible.

I’m tired about 95% of the time. I’m a mess. But to tackle my mess, I’ve learned there are . . .

Three key ways to maintain balance and the right upward focus.

These involve my vulnerability with my own young kids, my transparency with my husband, as well as in a community of Christ followers.

None of us like to air our dirty laundry! I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t love sharing my personal prayer requests or my struggles with others, including those mentioned above.

I’m a great candidate to listen to yours though! 😉

I am blessed with a husband, community of godly friends and family who speak truth into me. They don’t always tell me what I want to hear but what I need to hear. That accountability is what propels me to be a faithful mess of a mom and wife. 

I don’t have it all together. None of us do. That’s why we need Jesus. I’m learning how much my kids need to see that. They need to see my vulnerability, my need for wisdom and community from other Christ followers, and most of all, my need for Jesus.

[bctt tweet=”Want to know what a young mom is learning about being a Christ Follower who’s also a mess at times? Head to MM to read more! #vulnerable #Jesus #parenting” username=”BethSteffaniak”]

My greatest prayer for my children is that they will grow to know the Lord deeply and intimately. I want them to praise Him in the good and seek Him in the hard. If they don’t see me turning to Him for strength, how will they learn that’s where they also should turn?

If I let my kids think Mommy is always right or never struggles, they won’t know the true Source of wisdom. If I’m living in my own strength, they’ll learn that’s what they need to do as well.

I am blessed to stay home with my kids, but there are days that are just plain tough. On those days, I pray they will see the light of Jesus in me.

I’m not suggesting as mothers that we let our kids in on every struggle we face but we need to let them grow through some of them with us. Sometimes, I escape to the pantry for a prayer for patience or gentleness or just a chance to breathe! 😉

My kids and I will often stop in the midst of struggle and ask the Lord to help us in that moment.

[bctt tweet=”Find out at MM how Emileigh stops in the middle of a struggle to make it not only a holy moment but also a teachable moment for her children! Consider doing what she does in your family too!” username=”BethSteffaniak”]

I cannot be wise in my own eyes (Proverbs 3:7). I need to teach my kids that true wisdom and true peace come from the Lord.

I believe every mom needs a place in their home where they can escape for even a minute to seek His wisdom and His calm. Tell your kids where it is too. I know this puts you at risk for sharing that space. It’s worth it. Your kids will learn to value that space and that opportunity to see their mother seeking the One who calms the mess. In fact, pray out loud so they can hear you.

My husband is a key person in calming my mess. I try to make it a priority to let my husband know when I’m struggling and in need of a break. I don’t always do this well.

  • Sometimes, it means telling him I need 15 minutes alone upstairs when he arrives home from work.
  • Sometimes it means I need dinner alone with a friend. (Key here is alone, as in no interruptions from wonderfully, noisy little blessings.)
  • Many times, it means I need quality time with him. The babysitter is worth it, and the example we set for our kids when we make intentional time together is priceless.

Make it a priority to share your mess with your husband so he knows how and when to support you. Ask him to pray for you specifically about the struggles you are facing in your day and let him support you in it.

[bctt tweet=”Find out what Emileigh does with her husband that she’s not only made her priority, but is also a very bonding practice when she’s stressed. #priorities #marriage” username=”BethSteffaniak”]

In Proverbs 31:11, God calls us to attain trust from our husband and he will not lack anything good. If we’re withholding our mess from our husbands, the level of trust suffers. I want good for my husband, and that begins by putting my trust in Him and him

I need a community of Christ followers. In Proverbs 13:20, the Lord tells us to walk with the wise and we will become wise. Be intentional about who your inner circle is. Look for wisdom in them. Make a list of them and specifically ask them to be your accountability partners.

When I feel my mess unraveling, I reach out, if they don’t notice it in me first. Find your inner circle and invite them to speak into your mess.

At some point there was a shift in society that made us believe as moms that we can do it all and have it all. The truth is—we can’t.

We can’t have it all, but all we really need is Jesus. 

A dear friend of mine shared a quote with me one day that I’ve really embraced: “Good friends help you become best friends with Jesus.”

If I’m going to share my mess with a friend, I need to know in advance they’re a friend who will examine my mess and point me to Jesus through it. Sometimes intentionally investing in an encouraging or uplifting friend will help calm the mess more than finishing that fifth load of laundry.

My son was praying for lunch after our Moms small group a few weeks ago and thanked God that “Mommy got to learn about Jesus with her friends.”

In that moment, I realized that investing with other Christ followers is just as important to my children as it is to me. I pray and encourage them to surround themselves with wise counsel and godly friendships.

Without it, we’re all just easy prey for the mess.

Give each other GRACE.

We all are trying to coordinate our own sort of mess. We need to stop allowing others to believe we have it all together. We’re certainly not doing them any favors. We need them to see our mess and then see us looking to Jesus to coordinate our chaos.

We also need to recognize that others have their own mess and extend them grace and love through it, and mostly, point them to Jesus.

I need you to know that I don’t have it all together, but I’m making a priority to walk with the One who does. At the end of both my joyful and exhausting days, that’s all that really matters.

Emileigh Ziebka is a wife, mom and faithful lover of the Lord! She is passionate about connecting with other young moms, as well as training up her children to love and follow the Lord.

Even though she might not consider herself to be a writer, God is redeeming her “mess” with a powerful and convicting “message” here that inspires us to be humble, honest and teachable so that Christ gains all the glory.  

 


 

What is one thing Emileigh shared that touches you, moving you to respond in a similar way?

 

What are some of the fears you’ve had about showing your weaknesses and messes to others?

 


Here are some other lovely linkups I join – Inspire Me MondayKingdom BloggersLiterary Musing MondaysTea and Word TuesdayPurposeful FaithTell His StoryInstaEncouragements LinkupRecharge WednesdayPorch Stories Linkup, Welcome Heart, Worth Beyond Rubies WednesdaySitting Among FriendsTune in ThursdayHeart EncouragementGrace and Truth Faith and Friends Faith on Fire FridayFresh Market Friday, and DanceWithJesusFriday

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30 responses to ““I’m a Mess” . . . Allowing God to Work in and Through Weakness”

  1. beautiful.

    vulnerability, transparency, grace.

    Jesus.

    thanks, Emileigh …

    Like

    1. Thank you so much. Our vulnerability opens the door for the Lord to move in and through us! Praying readers will see Him through my mess.

      Like

  2. Oh how this mama can relate. Thanks for being real here, Emileigh! It was a beautiful reminder to me on a day with all three kids home and climbing the walls just a little . . . God really does show up in our weakness when we turn to him! I enjoyed connecting with you here!

    Like

    1. We’ve had two days in a row of that at our home too! I’m so thankful you were able to relate here!
      It’s funny how the greatest blessings in our life can be most exhausting! They are a daily reminder to me that I am not in control but what a gift they are from the One who is!

      Like

  3. So relatable!! A much need encouragement!! Thanks for the Truth!!

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    1. We all need a little more encouragement sometimes…even when it’s Truth we already know! I’m thankful His words were an encouragement to you today 🙂

      Like

  4. My body may not last the year,
    but weak? Don’t even start!
    I learned to handle every fear
    and so, God broke my heart.
    He made me put them in the earth,
    the friends who saved my life,
    and in the digging there was birth
    of a truth just like a knife.
    The strength I have is not my own,
    my courage, merely lent;
    my feet are not of granite-stone,
    for the strongest stone is rent.
    The things I thought possessed by right
    are the gracious gifts of gentle Might.

    Like

    1. Thank you for these words. The strength He offers truly is much greater than our weak bodies can understand. The strength found when we quiet our spirit in His presence truly is a blessing.

      Like

  5. Yes! Vulnerability is absolutely vital to spiritual growth. It took me a long time to learn this, but the rewards are absolutely worth the risks! Thank you for sharing this encouraging post!

    Like

    1. For me, learning it and embracing it are a tough challenge! The encouragement received through this post certainly reminds me of His power when we’re vulnerable though! A praise that you’re seeing the rewards as you allow Him to work in and through you!

      Like

  6. I confess I can be pretty prideful about handling my ‘messes’ without help from anyone. Thank you for the reminder that pride just makes us more exhausted and it doens’t prove anything (other than that we suffer from pride).

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    1. God convicted me so much through that realization and continues to do so as I continue to struggle with that same pride. As the Proverbs reminds me though, my pride leads to destruction, and He wants good for us, not destruction. I must trust in that.

      Like

  7. Every bone in my body wants to present a flawless image to the world, and yet I know in my heart that there’s SO MUCH WORK that needs to be done in this soul, and the real work won’t happen unless I’m completely honest with myself and others about the real deal.

    Like

    1. YES!!!
      Through my brokenness, He gives power to reveal His glory!

      Like

  8. I loved this post. The things that stood out to me the most are: transparency, letting my husband know I need a break or help, and “Good friends help you become best friends with Jesus.”

    Thank you!!

    Maree

    Sharing!

    Like

    1. Thank you for your encouragement! I’ve been both convicted and refreshed as God has shown me the power of those key needs in my life! I pray He will use it to strengthen you as well 🙂

      Like

  9. Such an encouraging word! We are all doing our best and coming up short. I am so thankful for a loving husband and friends who completely understand me and my situation and who are rooting for me. I love that your answer is that we have to take moments to be more than a momma. That’s so important. We cannot lose ourselves in one role. Great piece! Love this 💕

    Like

    1. Thank you for your encouragement! That support is so vital; praise God you have that in your life!
      I truly believe that our greatest ministry as mothers is our children but also that my role as mother should come AFTER my role as Disciple and Wife.

      Like

  10. Your stage of life is definitely a challenging one. I remember those years with fondness AND with frustration. ha. Now that I’m an empty-nester, I find I’m still a mess though. Just a different kind. 🙂 Yes, thankful for GRACE at every stage of life, regardless of what we look like in it, cap or not.

    Like

    1. Amen! Every season of life is crazy in its own sort of way. Praise Jesus He walks through it all with us!

      Like

  11. it’s ok to be vulnerable but do it with the right people. we are all a mess – don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
    stopping by from purposefulfaith linkup

    Like

    1. Absolutely! We must intentionally surround ourselves with those who will lift us up and be honest along the way!

      Like

  12. Thanks for sharing Emelieigh. I. Love the shift I have seen with moms from needing to pretend we have it all together and being able to share and support each other in our messes. Thanks

    Like

    1. I completely agree! We need to be cheering each other on more and condemning less; covering each other with far more grace than we deem able out of gratitude for the One who gives us far more grace than I know I deserve!

      Like

  13. Thank you, Beth and Emileigh. This is great! So many people think they have to clean up or somehow become “worthy” before God can use them. God uses us in our weakness. BTW, Emileigh, I’m not a writer either, at least that’s what I keep telling myself.

    Pinned and tweeted.

    Thanks for linking up InstaEncouragements!

    Like

    1. Thank you for your encouragement! I’m so thankful God is using my weaknesses!
      “Writer” or not, when He tells you to write, I suppose it’s just best to do it 😉

      Like

  14. Emileigh,
    It’s been awhile since my children were young, but you just trade in “little people problems” for “adult children problems”. There is always a reason to send us scurrying to our prayer closet for some time alone with the Lord. I love this quote: “Good friends help you become best friends with Jesus.” Amen! So thankful to have this type of friend(s) in my life. Thanks for your vulnerability in sharing!
    Blessings from another “hot mess”,
    Bev xx

    Like

    1. Thank you for the encouragement! I pray the good friends pointing me to Jesus now will stick around awhile; I need them!
      May God bless you in your mess!

      Like

  15. This is a great post about coping with the mess of life. I love that you share your get-away space with your kids and teach them that we all need alone with Jesus time. Great job, Mama!

    Like

    1. Thank you! I pray my kids will learn this importance and apply it in their own lives. I know it’s helpful for me!

      Like

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