Join 21 Days of Love to Improve Your Marriage!

Love in Action - Do you need more love in your life and/or your marriage? Then this post tells you how to feel and show love more by joining this 21 day challenge. #21Daychallenge #loveacts #lovemate #loveGod #Biblestudy

With the New Year upon us, it’s a great time to resolve to “love” our spouses and the Lord more! Even though it’s easy to let our resolutions slide as time goes on, there’s just something motivating about a fresh start.

Love in Action - Do you need more love in your life and/or your marriage? Then this post tells you how to feel and show love more by joining this 21 day challenge. #21Daychallenge #loveacts #lovemate #loveGod #Biblestudy

So if your marriage or life has grown stale, challenging or discouraging (or even if it’s vibrant), consider committing to this challenge! At least for 21 days. 😉

One of the best and first ways we can commit to love our mates is by loving the Lord and His word more.

That’s because …

God’s word and truth are what empowers us to love our mates when we don’t feel love for them. This is especially true when they aren’t acting so lovely in return.

[bctt tweet=”God’s word and truth empowers our love in marriage when we don’t feel love or receive love. #21DaysofLove #actsoflove #loveactsloving” username=”BethSteffaniak”]

I’ve experienced this over and over in my life. My husband might disappoint or anger me, but after I meet with the Lord, I feel God and His word softening my heart toward him.

[bctt tweet=”One of the most important resolutions you can make is to spend more time with God—loving Him and letting Him love through you to your mate! #21DaysofLove #jointhechallenge” username=”BethSteffaniak”]

Tips for Creating a Daily Habit of Meeting with God …

Daily Time with God - 7 Tips for creating the habit of spending time with God each day are explained and explored at MM. Find out more at the link! #Biblestudy #timewithGod #createdailyhabit #loveforGod1. Ask for God’s Help

Don’t try to do this with sheer willpower or human strength. Pray for the Lord to ignite your desire to meet with Him daily.

Then ask Him to empower you to persevere when feelings wane and distractions abound.

2. Determine the Best, Most Consistent, Time

For me this is in the morning, after I have worked out and showered.

Years ago, I had my quiet time in the afternoon, when my boys were either in school or taking a nap.

But there are many who don’t have a free moment until the evening. If that’s you, you might be tempted to escape your daily woes by watching television for hours on end.

Instead, determine to carve out 15 minutes or more to escape to the Lord! He will refresh your soul like nothing and no one else can!

3. Ask Someone to be Accountability Partners with You

Find someone who wants to check in and be checked on in this effort. Just call or text each other weekly to see how it’s going on sticking to your daily habit.

But be sure to be honest when you blow it, so your friend can pray for you to improve.

4. Use a Devotional or Bible Study Method

Ben Franklin once said,

“By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.”

That’s good advice, especially if you want to persevere in creating this habit.

So don’t simply open your Bible and plop down your finger on a verse each day. Consider using my WORTHY Bible study method, which will be detailed in an email I’m sending this week to those who subscribe to MM.

You can use the WORTHY method as a tool to study a book, chapter or verse on your own.

Or you can join my latest private Facebook group, studying “Messiah on Mission.” The study kicks off this week—Jan. 7, 2019—and will be exploring Jesus’ ministry years out of the gospel of Luke.

You’ll be able to use this free, no-obligation study as a way to see how I glean the Scriptures. And if you don’t have the time to study for yourself, you can use my notes like a daily devotional instead.

Not only will you be inspired by what we discover, but you’ll also learn so much about the context and meaning behind each day’s readings. That’s because I’ve done a lot of research to help properly paint the picture for you—both of what the text means and how to apply it.

To find out more details about this group study click on my Bible Study page.

And to join, you can friend me at Beth Oster Steffaniak and let me know you want to be added, or go to the “Messiah on Mission” Facebook link above and request to be added.

5. Guard Your Time

This means avoiding distractions and scheduling conflicts. If you have a set time, but other events keep interfering, consider scheduling “your time with God” on your phone or daily calendar.

Then anytime you’re scheduling a new event, you’ll be reminded not to schedule over your time with God.

“Guarding” also means turning your phone, TV off or avoiding other distractions while you meet with God. You might feel like this is a “no-brainer,” but it’s often the subtle details that derail us in our quest to form this habit.

6. Remind Yourself of the Benefits of Time with God

One benefit is that your attitude and choices are guided, guarded and enriched by God’s Word.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”  —Prov. 4:23

“Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.”  —Psalm 119:105

Another benefit emerges when your mate doesn’t act very loving toward you. You can still continue to be and feel loved by God through His word and truth to you.

For your Maker is your husband—the Lord Almighty is his name—the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth. The Lord will call you back as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit—a wife who married young, only to be rejected,” says your God.  —Isaiah 54:5-6

7. Persevere by Restarting When You Fall Behind or Get Sidetracked

Please, don’t beat yourself up when this happens! If you do, I guarantee you’ll feel even more discouraged. 😦

Instead, simply pray for God’s power to pull you back up from the slump you find yourself in. He won’t shame or condemn you. That’s not who He is or how He operates (see Romans 8:1)!

His desire is for you to learn from the failure and move on in His strength.

I’d “love” to have you pray this prayer as you and I begin this 21-Day effort to love God and our mates more. Click the image and a new tab will open with “…” in the upper right corner that, when clicked, allows you to download it. 🙂

Prayer for God's Love in Marriage - This post contains a pdf of this prayer to print out. Click the link to snag it! #marriageprayer #loveofGod

Here’s what you’ll receive in this 21-Day effort (if you’re a regular reader of MM) …

  1. Tips for creating a habit of meeting with God each day that will encourage your marriage and life (today’s post)
  2. Prayer journaling tips that will help improve your marriage and life (Jan. 13)
  3. How to apply God’s word to calm tension-filled moments in marriage and life (Jan. 20)
  4. Scripture-based prayer for your marriage (provided each week)

If you’re a subscriber to MM, you’ll ALSO receive a weekly email (one per week on Mondays—Jan. 7, 14 & 21) that includes what’s listed below. And if you’re not a subscriber, then sign up below today!

  • 7 daily prompts/ideas for doing loving acts for your mate each week (21 total for all three weeks)
  • 1 brief devotional that you and your mate can discuss during the week (3 total during the 21-Days)
  • Bible Study “WORTHY” Method explained
  • You’ll be the first to hear about an exciting opportunity coming in the weeks ahead! (Don’t ya just love being in on a secret?)

Next week I’ll be continuing this series with a post on how to prayer journal so that your life, attitude and marriage improves. I hope you’ll come back by!

[bctt tweet=”Join the 21-Days of Love challenge and receive 21 daily love prompts/ideas, 3 couple devotionals plus 1 secret bit of news just for subscribers! Join and subscribe today! #MessyMarriage #21daysoflove” username=”BethSteffaniak”]


What has been your biggest hurdle in forming the habit of a consistent time with God?


What is one “love act” that you’ve done for your mate recently? (Keep it clean, friends! Lol!)


Here are some lovely linkups I join – Inspire Me MondayLiterary Musing MondaysTea and Word TuesdayPurposeful FaithTell His StoryRecharge WednesdayPorch Stories Linkup, Coffee for Your Heart, Worth Beyond Rubies WednesdayEncouraging Word WednesdaySitting Among FriendsDestination Inspiration, Tune in ThursdayHeart EncouragementMoments of HopeGrace and TruthFaith and FriendsBlogger Voices NetworkFaith on Fire FridayFresh Market Friday, and DanceWithJesusFriday


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27 responses to “Join 21 Days of Love to Improve Your Marriage!”

  1. Early morning blogging continues to horn in on that devotional time, Beth. Bless you for gearing us up for this needed challenge, friend …


    1. Yeah, I get that, Linda! Blogging certainly takes on a life of its own! I feel like I’ve been blogging forever, but I think you’ve been at it longer than I have! Thanks for coming by and always encouraging me, friend!


  2. Great post and series, Beth; a wonderful way to start the year, by offering substantial and tangible help.

    It seems that the best way I can show love is by keeping an upbeat and humourous demeanour in the face of drastically worsening health. With this, Barbara doesn’t feel she has to carry the burden of my fears and sorrows.

    Actually, I don’t HAVE fears or sorrows now. I’m in the centre of a bloodstained gyre, but hey, everyone’s got to be SOMEwhere, eh? And I’m OK.

    The further the fall, the higher you bounce.

    And that bounce is the gift, and the love, that I can pass along.


    1. Thank you, Andrew! I feel like it truly is the best time to start a habit like this. So I wanted to highlight the opportunity for us all while we sail into 2019!

      I don’t know how you do it day after day, Andrew! You’ve got nerves and willpower of steel, my friend! I so appreciate your care and protection of Barbara. It’s truly an inspiring example to us all!

      I’m sure that fears take a backseat to the pain and challenge each day brings. It’s fight or lay down and die, right?

      Praying that you continue to pass along love to Barbara and the rest of our faithful audience. Hugs to you!


  3. Pinned your “7 Tips for Daily Visit With God” graphic. Looking forward to the marriage study!


    1. Aww, thank you, LuAnn! That’s the best kind of encouragement for me these days!

      Me too, my friend! Me too!


  4. Dear Beth, That’s a powerful prayer! I prayed it (a while ago you wrote about having a “perfectionist spouse” …). I can imagine reading and praying it often. Finding a consistent time for anything is not easy but recently I read a blog post by Mary Geisen about walking (which you had retweeted) — The Healing Properties of Walking. It would be a good idea to have a half-hour quiet prayerful walk during my work day. I aim to start doing that when I get back to the office. I like your 7 tips, and they strengthen each other. I am getting better at most of them (apart from #3 obvs). I really like the challenge of doing a special “love act” every day – noting it down even. I will start on that too when I get back home (abroad again). David


    1. I’m so glad you feel that way, David! I’ve surely gotten lots of practice in writing prayers from my Worthy Bible studies! Lol! I guess it’s paying off now. I do hope it helps you and your marriage! That would be a great answer to prayer for “me!”

      I’m glad that Mary’s post encouraged you. I think walking while you pray is a great idea! I find when I go for a prayer walk it really invigorates my conversation with God. I hope it does that for you too. And I’m glad you’re going to try the challenge–at whatever point you can. I hope it strengthens and encourages your marriage, my friend! Thanks for stopping by! Hugs to you!


    2. Thank you, David for reading my post, The Healing Properties of Walking. I am blessed to know that you are going to start a 30 minute prayer walk. Let me know how it goes.


  5. Beth!
    It’s so great to read your words again after your blogging break! I hope your time was filled with plenty of grandchild squeezes and beautiful moments with family!


    1. Thank you, Michele! It’s great to be back! Although I thoroughly enjoyed my break and time grand-baby holding! Lol! However, it’s hard to leave him and only connect through Instagram or FaceTime. But I’m not not complaining! I’ll take every ounce of cuteness they send my way! Thanks for stopping in and encouraging me, my friend!


  6. Teresa Richardson Avatar
    Teresa Richardson

    My biggest hurdle is time. I work 6 nights a week with only one day off. but since Nov 18 til Jan 12, I’ll have worked without a day off. I am either at work, sleeping, or up in just enough time to eat before getting ready for work. I will get up with my alarm clock, go to the living room and fall asleep on the loveseat til my husband wakes me to eat. Jan 12-15 I am requesting as my days off so I can catch up on housework and spend more time with my husband.
    I made my husband his favorite meal – sausage stuffing mix, so he could have leftovers for a few days


    1. Sounds like that’s a huge hurdle in your life, Teresa! I think that’s probably more common for wives than not–although, your situations sounds worse than most. I do hope you are able to scale back in the new year. You won’t be able to sustain that pace without crashing and burning, especially in your marriage. I’ll pray for you to find times to connect meaningfully with your mate and with God each day! Hugs to you, my friend!


  7. Love that you are focusing on our relationship with God first as a foundation for the relationship with our spouses. Loving God well allows us to truly love our spouse well.
    (Also, I love the use of the word WORTHY — I even wrote a book with the title 😉 )


    1. Yes, Rebecca. No other marriage tip or communication technique can get us nearly as far as spending time with the One who not only enables us to love but IS LOVE! 😉

      And how cool is that? Yes, my WORTHY method follows an acrostic with the letters that helps aid study, prayer and application. I hope you’re finding success with your book! Thanks so much for coming by and encouraging me, my friend!


  8. Thanks, Crystal! Sadly, I do too. It’s where I believe Satan is attacking the most in our churches and among believers–in their marriages. I do hope that’s what happens–at least one marriage is renewed! It’s what I do this for–to help that one couple/person who needs the hope I hold out! Hugs to you, my friend!


  9. This is good stuff, Beth!
    Blessed by you and by your minsitry~


    1. Thank you, Melanie! I always appreciate your encouragement and support! And I feel the same about you and your ministry! Hugs to you!


  10. I’m a morning with God sort of gal–I’ve been in habit so long that I feel bereft if I miss that time.


    1. There’s just something so peaceful and sweet about starting our day off with God, Anita! So I’m right there with you on that one! And I also feel the same way about missing my time. I’m not legalistic about it, but it definitely is engrained and feels sorely missed whenever I skip it! Thanks for coming by to weigh in, my friend!


  11. Time is a hurdle for me. And with my husband, I tell him most every day that he is the best man I know.


    1. Yes, we live in a hectic and fast-paced society, not to mention being bombarded when we go through the active parenting years, Lauren. I do hope you find the time for it, though. And that’s wonderful that you say that to him everyday. I need to be better about that with my guy! Thanks for coming by and joining the conversation, my friend!


  12. That’s actually a good thing, Courtney! Because that means you’re sensitive to what God desires from you. I meet so many wives who simply don’t care that much. They let life overtake them and seem not to realize how important getting into God’s word is to their heart, relationships and marriage. I will pray that you can do that! Even five or ten minutes a day sandwiched here or there will be a good start! Thanks for being so honest, my friend!


  13. Thanks for sharing these tips, Beth. I love how you keep it so practical; it helps us all know we really can do this!


  14. This is good stuff! So true that God’s Word transforms like nothing else can. Thanks for sharing!


  15. I love your ideas to create a daily habit for meeting with God. My biggest challenge seems to be keeping my time sacred – just God and me and not getting distracted. #5 will be the one I continue to work on. Thank you for always providing us such practical ways to deepen our relationship with God and others. And thank you for tweeting a post of mine that made a difference with the gentleman above. 🙂


  16. Hi, this sounds like a wonderful program. Thanks for sharing it with the #LMMLinkup this week.


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