What Christ’s Victory Means for My Marriage And 5 Steps to Embrace It! (Linkup)


I’m excited to have Lori Schumaker as my guest today while I’m on vacation. She is sharing her hope-filled insights for when our marriages are impacted by the schemes of the devil, as we continue in my spiritual warfare series. Please make her feel at home here by commenting below and sharing her wise words all around the web!

I remember those beginning years well. And the arguments that accompanied them.

I remember the tears. The doubt of who I am and of my worthiness.

When you don’t live in the reflection of Christ, you wear the labels of a broken world.


I came into our marriage wearing a multitude of those broken labels and sadly, those labels effected the health of our relationship. My husband wasn’t perfect. We all bring with us our own set of unhealthy behaviors. But what my label wearing did, was prohibit me from handling issues subjectively.

When he did something less than stellar, I wore his faults as my lack of worthiness. His faults couldn’t simply be about him. They were a reflection of me.

I’d spent my life earning my worth from the approval of others. From achieving and being “good”. Our world is a fickle, demanding, broken, and often angry place. So, to see oneself in the reflection of that puts us on the unpredictable track of rollercoaster living.

How about you? Have you spent much of your life being what we often hear referred to as a “people pleaser?” Have you stopped to examine the why behind that behavior? Is it simply because you don’t like to see people unhappy?

Or is it something different? Is it deeper than that?

When someone isn’t pleased with you, does it cut deeply into a place where all your insecurities lay hidden? And are you bringing that into all your relationships? Especially into your marriage?

It wasn’t until I decided there had to be more to this longing I felt within myself. There had to be more to Christ’s victory on the cross than my salvation on the other side of the cross.

There had to be victory on this side of the cross, too.

And the battle for that victory meant victory for my marriage, as well.

[bctt tweet=”I had to fight the enemy and see myself in the reflection of Christ, not the world.” username=”BethSteffaniak”]

But it wasn’t easy, because the enemy knows the ground he loses when we rise up and see ourselves as chosen and worthy reflections of the God of the Universe.

He knows that . . .

Purposes are fulfilled.

Marriages strengthened.

Love flourishes.

And families thrive.

[bctt tweet=”Satan loses ground when we rise up and see ourselves as chosen, worthy reflections of God.” ~Lori Schumaker” username=””]

Attack of SatanBut where do we start?

1. We start with obedience to the longing for more that God has placed in us. It’s a longing to embrace our value and to see ourselves in His reflection.

2. We commit to believing that God is bigger than any sin done by or against us. Believing is a heart word. It’s something we must say and feel so strongly that we are willing to lay our lives down on that truth.

3. We repent of and surrender everything we have held in the recesses of our hearts that bring us shame. No more holding back with God. We get real and get right with Him. Trusting that He will redeem.

4. We begin the hard work of catching every lie the enemy rattles through our minds and disputing it with the Truth of God. It means committing to reading God’s Word because the more we know His Word, the more we can replace the lies within negative self-talk with truth. We all have to start somewhere in the Word and God will bless your efforts. Each Word you soak in, you will find it surfacing in just the right moment.

5. We pray bold, fierce, heartfelt prayers! God hears all our prayers whether long or short, complex or simple. But when we go to battle in prayer and we pray His Word, we enter that battle fully armed. It’s a battle the enemy will never win. And one God wins every. single. time.

Friends, if you are allowing the labels of the world to negatively effect your marriage, it’s time to claim the victory Christ has already won for you. See yourself in His reflection. The reflection that is steady. Unwavering. And overflowing with love.

See yourself as His creation so that the issues in your marriage are not exacerbated by unjustifiable emotion. When we know who we are in Christ, we can keep our issues as simply an issue and not an attack of our personal worthiness.

I pray you step into the victory Christ has already claimed for you. I pray you boldly step forth in obedience and I claim victorious marriages in the name of Jesus!

Finally, receive your power from the Lord and from his mighty strength. Put on all the armor that God supplies. In this way you can take a stand against the devil’s strategies. This is not a wrestling match against a human opponent. We are wrestling with rulers, authorities, the powers who govern this world of darkness, and spiritual forces that control evil in the heavenly world. For this reason, take up all the armor that God supplies. -Ephesians 6:10-13 GW

[bctt tweet=”Christian bloggers, come join From Messes to Messages linkup! #GodRedeems” username=”BethSteffaniak”]

Thanks so much to Lori for being my guest today while I am away. I hope you’ll check out her blog—lorischumaker.com—where she offers Christ-centered hope and wisdom on a variety of topics that includes everything from marriage to parenting to her primary focus of finding our identity in Christ. 


What is another way that you’ve stood against the devil’s schemes and strong in Christ’s work on the cross?


What is one way you’ve been attacked by the “Enemy” in life or marriage?



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32 responses to “What Christ’s Victory Means for My Marriage And 5 Steps to Embrace It! (Linkup)”

  1. Thank you, Lori, for sharing! #4 is so true. I’m currently in a bible study where we are talking about girding ourselves in truth to be able to battle the devils schemes. This is exactly what you’re talking about here!


    1. Hi Cassie,
      Catching our negative self-talk and replacing it with the Truth of God is my deepest heartfelt message. That one act truly transforms us! Thanks so much for joining us here!
      Blessings and smiles,


  2. Hey Lori! What a special treat to see you standing in for Beth tonight. It’s always good to see you, my friend! I really appreciate what you’ve shared here. Unity in marriage is so important. Satan knows that healthy marriages = healthy families. When the husband and wife are at odds, the family suffers. I know that’s what happens in my home. And when it happens, I sense that Satan is attacking my marriage. Thank you for sharing your wisdom from God’s word on marriage. Blessings to you!


    1. Thanks for all the love and wisdom, Tiffiney! I definitely feel the same! And unity in marriage … ahhhh … yes! Even in our parenting. When we do not stand in unity before our kids, the enemy moves in swiftly. We try very hard to always appear on the same front with our kids (even when our opinions may differ slightly). If it is a major difference, we talk (even if it’s difficult) until we can reach a place of unity. I believe it has helped our kids thus far enormously.


  3. Very nice verses, I need to remember it. Thanks for hosting and have a wonderful week.


    1. So much good stuff in that Bible, right?! Thanks so much for joining us!


  4. Loved this post and your heart for marriage! Thank you for sharing and hosting!


    1. Hi Julia,
      Thank you! So glad you enjoyed it!


  5. Andrew Budek-Schmeisser Avatar
    Andrew Budek-Schmeisser

    Great post, Lori. Thank you for this!

    I’m too ill to comment at length, but I do see Satan’s hand at work in trying to divide my wife and me through my terminal illness. He wants to introduce despair and disagreement, and it takes a lot of faith, hope and charity to fight back.



    1. Thank you for joining here, Andrew. I’m stopping right now to pray for you and your wife as you stay united and fight the enemy together! And I’m praying for peace and comfort amidst your illness.


  6. happy, relaxed vacation, Beth!

    nothing better than putting your feet up in autumn!



    1. Thanks for joining us here, Linda!


  7. Hi Lori–it’s good to see you here! After almost 17 years of marriage, I’m currently in the trenches of your #4 and #5 points above. Catching the lies and praying fervent prayers are so important to keep us from drifting apart. Beth–enjoy your vacation. I hope you’ll post photos here, because I always enjoy your travel posts!


    1. It’s so good to see you here, too, Sarah! We are at the 17 year mark, as well! Praying for you as you catch the lies and replace them with Truth and for your prayers to be bold and detailed! ♥


  8. Such a treat to find your good words here today, Lori. Thanks for motivation to stay in the battle.


    1. We are all so much stronger in battle when we hold each other up and spur each other forward! Love seeing you here today, Michele!


  9. Thank you for sharing here today Lori. Your five ways to combat Satan are prefect for anyone. I struggle with who I am in Christ and sometimes hear the lies louder than the truth. I am holding onto your message today knowing that God is always stronger.


    1. What touching words, Mary ♥ The lies have often had that power within my mind as well. I am so thankful that with lots of hard work, it happens less and less. But isn’t it a gift to come back to the truth even when we have a weak moment of allowing those lies too much stage time? And, AMEN my friend! God is ALWAYS stronger!


  10. Lori, thank you for sharing today. This is a message and I can truly appreciate and relate to. Your 5 points are powerful for tearing down strongholds and defeating the enemy who wants to separate us inside our marriages! Beth, thank you for sharing Lori with us today!


    1. Thanks so much, Leslie! I’m so glad it resonated with you! The enemy definitely wants to separate us! It was so great to visit here at Beth’s!


  11. What a blessing to see you here today, Lori. Thanks for the reminder to separate our worth in Christ from issues of life. I can see how it can effect our marriages. Many blessings! Beth, I hope you’re enjoying your vacation, friend!


    1. Thanks, Kelly! Our identity effects every single relationship we have. But it took me far too long to connect those dots.
      Blessing and smiles,


  12. I can certainly relate to having these feelings and I can relate to having those struggles in my marriage. I know the reality if the enemy fighting back, unwilling to release me from his grip. But I also know what it is to experience victories, one step at a time!
    Thank you for sharing and the encouragement to keep trusting God on the journey.
    Thanks Lori


    1. Hi Lureta! It’s so good to see you here! The journey really is full of both the challenges and the victories, isn’t it? But God gives us victory even after we fall when we keep pressing forward and into Him!
      Blessings and smiles,


  13. Such a great post Lori. When our husbands misunderstand our intentions or our heart we can tend to want to “prove” ourselves worthy. This is such a defeating battle. I found when I claim my worth in Jesus I am not easily offended. He gives us the power to forgive and love as He would.


    1. Amen, Valerie! Jesus really does this amazing work in us and takes the offense away!


  14. Great post, Lori! The only real power the enemy has in the life of a believer is the power to deceive us. The Word of God is truly our defensive weapon … putting it in our hearts and minds and replacing the lies as you said.


  15. So beautifully written. Christ died on the cross so we can forget our shame and know we are forgiven. Thanks for linking up with us at the #LMMLinkup this past week.


  16. So great to see you sharing at one of my favorite blogs Lori! You wisdom and insight is tried and true, and I appreciate your heart for taking up the challenge allowing God to replace each and every worldly label with His truth!


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