I’m walking over an incredibly monumental transition or “threshold” in my life—that of being a full-fledged Empty Nester. Since that’s the case, I’ve felt like it might be good to do a series on the many “thresholds” we all go through in marriage and life. I will be alternating these posts with my videos that address your questions posed to me and my husband. Yes, keep sending them! *
Our youngest son, Braden, is twenty years old and last January moved to an apartment not too far from dear old mom and dad. He was and has been active in our church all of his life. He even played electric guitar in the worship band, as well as the youth worship band.
[bctt tweet=”I loved seeing him up there on the weekend’s he was scheduled to play. #proudmama #giftedson #talentsusedforGod” username=”BethSteffaniak”]
However, this has come to an abrupt end since he decided to move to Los Angeles, California with a buddy, because they both are seeking more “cutting-edge” career opportunities. We live in the Midwest, so this is quite the stretch of land between a mama and her “walking-around-outside-her-body” heart. 😉
Braden is a computer whiz and has been a contract worker for Boeing for a year and a half, creating and updating their network system. He even decided to drop out of college because he felt the need to focus on this specialized on-the-job training 24/7, much to his traditional, old-school mama’s dismay!
[bctt tweet=”I was blindsided by the fact that I can no longer tell my son what to do or not do! #helplessmom #adultchildren #parentingproblem” username=”BethSteffaniak”]
Sure, I went through some of this when my two older sons entered adulthood, but their decisions were more predictable and not quite so radical. I fully expected that I would have Braden around until he was at least twenty-two—enjoying the idea that he had a safety net of college (Christian college at that!) to try out his wings.
There are so many layers to our story that have made this harder for me and I won’t go into all of them here. But suffice it to say that I am grieving. Life has thrown me a curve and I’m struggling to find my equilibrium.
Life and marriage is like that. We are thrown curves all the time. Sometimes they knock us off our feet.
[bctt tweet=”Sometimes we’re left confused and deeply discouraged by life’s thresholds. #grievingseason #parentingworries #trustGod” username=”BethSteffaniak”]
So how am I dealing with this transition?
1. Prayer Journal
I talk to the Lord about it a LOT! I prayer journal my feelings, especially as it relates to my Bible reading for the day. In fact, I’ve been reading in 1 and now 2 Samuel and finding my readings on David’s life are seamlessly correlating with the situations in my own life in uncanny ways. If you’d like to join my 2 Samuel study that is beginning Oct 2, please click here for more info. But mostly, I’m working on surrendering Braden to the Lord’s care over and over—since as his mom, I tend to grab him back off the altar more days than not!
2. Talk with People in Your Support System
I talk to my spouse and good godly support system a LOT! They are my sounding board and give me the extra emotional support that I need at this time. Of course, talking about my feelings with my friends/spouse also helps to lessen the pain that I’m feeling. #bonusblessing
3. Learn and Grow in this Season
I look for ways to learn and grow in this season. One way is trying to be a more positive encourager in Braden’s life, because he’s felt a little bit discouraged by my worries and resistance to his choice. I get that, and am seeking to find ways to reach out to him and support him—including praying for his protection, guidance and provision. #prayerempowers
What are some of the transitions you’re facing in life and marriage?
What are you doing to positively cope in this “threshold”?
As a follow-up to this post, my son Braden actually got a job in the spring of 2017 with a company called Campspot. You can view his cute mug on this page of their site! He’s getting paid the big bucks that I feared would never come his way. Braden also found a church that he loves and plays in the band there about once a month. Third and finally, he’s thriving in all sorts of ways—proving to me that God had him in His care all along! So if you’re facing a similar situation with your child or children, I hope this update encourages you in that scary parenting season! Yay, God!
*Please keep on sending any questions you have on marriage to me and my hubby by either commenting below or emailing me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Thanks so much!
Linking up with these fine blogs – Making Your Home Sing, Moments of Hope, Mondays @ Soul Survival, Word of God Speak, Spiritual Sundays, Sitting Among Friends, Faith ‘n Friends, Grace and Truth, Family, Friendship and Faith, Fresh Market Friday and DanceWithJesusFriday
Leave a Reply