When You Don’t Understand Your Marriage

Trust in the Lord

Today, after a short vacation, I’m returning to my series on “persevering in the Lord.” This week I’m offering one more important way to persevere . . .

We persevere in marriage by integrating God’s perspective into our lives.

That’s because very often we don’t understand why we must face the pain and difficulty in our marriages. But we must not look at our marriages and lives through our human lens but rather through God’s.

Proverbs 3:5-6 really encapsulates this idea of integrating God’s perspective.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

When I was really struggling in my marriage, I would say that I wanted to trust God. I even looked to Him for understanding of my life and marriage on a regular and daily basis. But if and when His will didn’t make sense to me or my responsibility to my husband felt too hard or unfair, I tried to manage the problem (typically I thought my hubby was “the problem”) in my own way.

In other words, I leaned on my own understanding . . . a lot! #majormarriagefail

In fact, I’m not immune to this very temptation and still fail more than I’d like to admit! But it has improved dramatically because of this perspective shift that I’ve been integrating over the years.

However, back in those messy days, I really wasn’t “submitting to God” because I was always grabbing my marriage back from Him every time I laid it on the altar.

So whenever I was experiencing a pervasive sense of despair, easily losing my temper, drowning in bitterness or discontentment, and/or going for a ride on the “crazy cycle” with my hubby (translation – loud and prideful arguing), you can be pretty sure that I was not submitting to God.

[Tweet ” At those messy times, I viewed life and marriage from my own perspective instead of God’s.”]

Now let me be clear! I’m not saying that everything will be smooth sailing if you simply trust the Lord with all your heart. 😉

Even though verse five says, “He will make your paths straight” . . . that doesn’t mean they will necessarily be smooth!

In fact, I see now how God has used every bump, trial and challenge along my path to develop my character and draw me closer to Him. The secret is to keep my eyes on Him or I will get (and have gotten) distracted and stray from His straight path.

So how did I integrate God’s perspective into my view of my life and marriage? Well, that’s what the following posts in this series will be unpacking and revealing. There are five more key ways that I persevered and all of them involved integrating God’s perspective into my life and view of my marriage.

However, I’m going to keep you waiting (#practiceperseverance) on these last five posts in the series until July, because I am pulling back starting next weekend in order to get my house ready to put on the market. In fact, I’m pulling away from everything so that I can focus totally on that overwhelming task. I’ve decided it just won’t get done any other way. #Ihavetried

But I hope you’ll join me in July when I pick this important series back up!

In the meantime, would you mind praying for me to get this monster of a job done! Getting my house ready to sell is going to take perseverance too!

[Tweet “We persevere in marriage by integrating God’s perspective into our lives.”]

[Tweet “Big jobs in life take patience and perseverance! #practiceperseverance”]

What is one way you’ve integrated God’s perspective into your view of your marriage?


What has kept you leaning on your own understanding rather than on the Lord?


Linking up with these fine blogs –  Making Your Home Sing, Moments of Hope, Mondays @ Soul Survival, Faith ‘n Friends, Word of God Speak, Spiritual Sundays, Sitting Among Friends, Grace and Truth, Family, Friendship and Faith, and DanceWithJesusFriday


9 responses to “When You Don’t Understand Your Marriage”

  1. Andrew Budek-Schmeisser Avatar
    Andrew Budek-Schmeisser

    Great post, Beth, and some perfect verses.

    For me, circumstances have made it a bit hard to understand life, let alone marriage. It’s a daily action replay of “Zulu Dawn”, and getting a bit wearisome.


    1. Thanks, Andrew. I know that it is quite an effort to respond with a comment these days. I don’t take your presence here for granted by a long shot! And yes, surviving requires more of your attention now than you have to give to anything or anyone else. I totally understand that. I am not familiar with the film, but know that if it is about combat (Google searched it!) then it is an apt depiction of your life these days–a battle for life. Prayers are lifted for you daily and sometimes all throughout my day as I think of you.


  2. I’m waiting for a getting-the-house-ready-for-the-market / marriage series here!

    I just know it’d be a huge hit!



    1. That’s a great idea, Linda. I might do something like that on my Wedded Wed posts as that series is going to be wrapped up in two more installments. So look for something down the road a bit–maybe late July. I’m sure by then I’ll be in the throes of it all and feeling really inspired to share about all my “messy-mover-meltdowns” and the ah-ha’s that follow. Thanks for your support and inspiration, my friend! You’re the best!


  3. Yes, they are, Gayl. I don’t know that I had really put it into writing before, so it was encouraging to me as well to see the correlations. Thanks for your encouragement, my friend! Nice to have you visit. 🙂


  4. recently it seems that all my children are planning weddings or been married. We of ten talk about how stressful they can be and to hold onto the one that they love. Never forget the love they have in bad times and keep God in front. The verses you used here are great and of great use.
    come see us at http://shopannies.blogspot.com


  5. Our perspective vs. God’s perspective. I know which one I choose the most. Just think how much smoother things would go if we would release our mess to God completely instead of grabbing it back. Good words today!


  6. Sarah Kuziomko Avatar
    Sarah Kuziomko

    Thanks for the encouragement!


  7. Beth,
    Prayers for this big job ahead! Thank you for another great post and for sharing alongside me at #MomentsofHope! You are an inspiration!
    Blessings and smiles,


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