How Prayer Improved My Marriage

Prayer in Marriage - This post offers ideas on how to use prayer to improve your marriage. Click the link to discover how. #prayer #marriageprayer #spiritualgrowth #loveformymate

As you might already know, I’m beginning a new series on how we can “Persevere in the Lord” in our messy marriages and lives. Last week I shared how challenging our faulty thinking is one powerful way to persevere. You can read that post by clicking here.

This week (and every week in this series) I want to offer another practical and spiritual step we can take to “persevere in the Lord”—especially when life and marriage hammers us or simply gets under our skin. 

When you and I get married, we blend our lives with another person who is facing these hard and unfair challenges too. In other words, we double the harsh impact of life with a spouse in the picture, and this only grows exponentially with every child we decide to bring into our “marital nest.”

Btw, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t marry or have children, but you should be aware and accepting of the harsh realities of life and marriage (see 1 Cor. 7:32-35).

One very powerful way to persevere in the Lord is to . . .

Make praying for your marriage a priority!
I’m talking praying sincere, consistent and Scripture-based prayers day in and day out for the rest of your life. It may feel awkward and scary at first, but as you pray daily and continuously for your marriage, it will become like the air you breathe. You won’t want to go without it!

Consider the promise that Scripture gives us regarding this “priority” . . .

“ . . . The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” ~James 5:16b

You might feel like, well, that excludes me because I’m not righteous!

But if you have received Christ’s salvation and forgiveness, you have His righteousness (check out my Know God page for more clarity).

Just remember that your position in Christ never changes, no matter how far you stray! Even though the closeness of your relationship with Christ can be negatively impacted by the sins you commit, your position and relationship to Him are never severed (Rom. 8:38-39)!

So, yes! . . .

[bctt tweet=”Based on James 5:16, you can be that righteous person God hears and answers every time you call out to Him about your marriage. #marriageprayer #prayerchangesthings” username=”BethSteffaniak”]

About three years ago a friend of mine, Becky Boerner, came to me and asked if we could start a marriage prayer group together. That was the best idea ever! 🙂 Thanks so much, Becky!

I’ve not only seen my marriage blessed by prayer, but so many other wives touched, inspired and encouraged in their marriages through our perseverance in praying for one another in life and marriage.

4 ways that prayer has been “effective” in improving my life and marriage . . .

  1. God has used it to help me see my husband through His loving eyes.
  2. God has softened my heart regarding longstanding relationship conflicts I have with my hubby.
  3. God has given me a greater desire to love my hubby like He loves us.
  4. Prayer has drawn me closer to Christ and helped me to love God and experience His love more deeply—which filled (and fills) up what my hubby can never completely fill because he is human and imperfect.

I could go on and on, because there are so MANY blessings and encouragements I’ve experienced through praying for my spouse and marriage, but I’ll keep it brief for today. 😉

However, I am hoping it will stir a conversation here that you might add to in the comments! Also I hope you’ll join me next week for another practical and spiritual way to persevere and find hope in your marriage!

What are some blessings you’ve experienced through praying for your spouse and marriage?


What is one way I can pray for you and your marriage? Let me know and I will!


[bctt tweet=”Discover what is the most powerful way to inject hope into your life and marriage. #secrettolove #messymarriage” username=”BethSteffaniak”]


Linking up with these fine blogs –  Weekend Whispers, Making Your Home Sing, Moments of Hope, Mondays @ Soul Survival, Faith ‘n Friends, Word of God Speak, Spiritual Sundays, Sitting Among Friends, Grace and Truth, Family, Friendship and Faith, and DanceWithJesusFriday


13 responses to “How Prayer Improved My Marriage”

  1. I agree, praying for our spouses is a powerful way to improve our marriages. God uses my prayers for my husband to change my heart.
    I’m your neighbor at #momentsofhope today. It’s so nice to meet you!


    1. So nice to meet you, Dawn! And I’m so glad that you’ve discovered this often overlooked and minimized key to an improved attitude in marriage. Thanks for coming by and encouraging me!


  2. Angela Howard Avatar

    Great post! I think one of the best prayers I’ve ever prayed for my marriage was: Lord, help me to see my husband through your eyes. We need God’s grace for those we love because our grace runs out pretty quickly! Thanks for writing 🙂 Visiting from #momentsofhope


    1. Yes, Angela! That’s an incredible prayer. I’m always needing that extra dose of God’s grace because I feel like I have a “hole in my bucket” most days! 😉 Thanks for coming by and joining the conversation, my friend!


  3. Dear Beth … why do we do absolutely everything else to control, maneuver, and fix our broken relationships before we turn to the only One who has the power and desire to do what needs to be done?

    God, how we need You to soften our hearts and turn our self-absorbed natures to You …


    1. Once you figure that one out, Linda, let me know! Cuz it sure is confounding! And agreed on how we need the Lord to soften our hearts. Love ya and thanks for coming by, girlfriend!


  4. We do forget, don’t we? That 3-fold cord, the coming to the throne of grace — it’s what keeps the gears running smoothly.


    1. Yes, Michele. And you’d think we’d learn because God is always so abundant in His grace and powerful in His impact to love through us to our mates. Thanks for joining the conversation, my friend!


  5. Andrew Budek-Schmeisser Avatar
    Andrew Budek-Schmeisser

    What a great essay, Beth! Tennyson wrote that through prayer, the whole world is bound ’round the feet of God with golden chains (it’s from “The Death of Arthur”, the last poem in the cycle “The Idylls of the King”…good stuff.)

    I send barbara an emailed prayer as she’s taking the train in to work every morning. It’s not for our marriage; it’s for her to keep in her heart as she works, to do her best and to spread God’s love among her co-workers (she works for a Christian company).

    I honestly don’t know how to address prayers for the marriage; she seems to need distance as my situation worsens, and praying for more sharing and intimacy might be a bit selfish. It’s a long goodbye, and those are never easy.


    1. What a sweet gift to give Barbara in these last days, Andrew. I do hope she recognizes how deeply you love her and what a gift you have been even as life and tragedy has hit you both so hard. Yes, your situation is so very challenging and unique to most couple’s. But you’ve navigated it with grace and love. Keep on being that beacon for the rest of us in those valleys we all will walk one day, my friend!


  6. And wow how life has changed for me since I decided to turn to God in prayer for my marriage. Seeing my hubby through His eyes has helped me to extend grace on multiple occasions. The biggest thing I’ve learned over the last few years is to let God chip away at me and let Him do the work in my hubby’s life. I have found lots of FREEDOM in not trying to play God.


    1. That’s great to hear, Becky! I know that you and I are both work’s in progress, but the important thing is we are making progress through our prayers. Thanks so much for being the inspiration for this important discipline and encouragement in my life and marriage as well as so many others in our marriage prayer group. Love ya!


  7. I love that you have a marriage prayer group, Beth! I have been a part of Moms International to pray for our children and our schools, but not a marriage prayer group! What a great idea! Thank you so much for sharing hope alongside me at Moments of Hope! I am honored to have you there!


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